Depression: Don’t seek happiness, seek interesting things and feelings.

Happiness is such a difficult concept to be looking for. Instead, look for interesting things and feelings. Try to find anything interesting to do that gets your brain working. Interesting feelings can come from anywhere, including cutting, right? Just don’t cut because it’s just a little too desperate for a tiny problem like finding interesting feelings. Rather, go argue with trans people maybe. 😀 See how that goes. Start a YouTube channel and say everything that you’re holding back, honestly and without a filter. (Maybe you need another platform for that tho.) Being brutally honest can be terribly exciting. Even writing honest feelings into a diary or a personal blog can be an interesting thing to do.

Don’t force interest. Stop manufacturing feelings that don’t exist in you. What I find interesting may not be what is enough to get you going. Having a family that loves you is nice, but it may also not be too interesting. Too stable, even. Maybe you need to take a few risks. Take the risk of offending someone or being offended. Maybe risk getting embarrassed, then examine why do you even care? Maybe go on stage at an open-mike comedy joint and see if the red cheeks would get your blood pumping.

Hobbies and interests.

Take up a new hobby, right? Don’t just pick a random one; pick something genuinely interesting to you. If you’re already contemplating suicide, why not risk getting into trouble backpacking across Africa maybe? If you’re already willing to die and leave your family in grief, why not just do something they’d hate you for as you liberate yourself to live the life you want instead?

You maybe a genius and bored without a problem. The thing that might make you interested in life again might not be “happiness” but a problem you get to solve.

Maybe you’re sex-obsessed. Nothing wrong with that. Get into your favorite kinks and start a blog or creator channel on an adult site… A friend of mine had a “I have lethal acid stored away so I can kill myself when this gets too much” -level of depression. She got invited to a sex club – depression GONE. Like that. All of the sudden, she was ELATED to be alive and giggled at the idea of having wasted time crying after THAT GUY!

Also, stop critiquing yourself about what makes you happy. If you like model trains but think that’s stupid at your age, forget your age. It’s better you’re intrigued than acting your age. If you’re doom-scrolling all day, who the hell cares? Maybe you’ll find something that makes your day a little brighter. And, you learn a lot potentially, quite accidentally. Stop being so hard on yourself, and stop categorizing things between stuff you’re allowed to feel excited about and stuff that is beneath your glorious ass. Just enjoy it. Whatever *it* is… Go love it, take full pleasure, and then do it again.

Be a rebel.

Maybe your brain is fine.

Now, let me also give you an alternative theory to your “brain being faulty.” Maybe it isn’t. This is what I think happens:

When you do fun/exciting/pleasurable happy stuff, your brain shoots out happy chemicals, right? You feel good. The chemicals linger on for a while, but they do need a reason to fire. Nobody is happy without a trigger. You need a reason to be sad, just the same as you need a reason to be happy. Now, if you don’t get to experience anything that you find particularly joyful, these happy chemicals wear out. You can live like that without feeling depressed for a good while, but if you don’t do something fun soon, it’ll turn into chronic depression.

You get drugs, and your brain thinks you’ve had a reason for happiness recently. But if the only thing you do to fix your depression is popping pills, you’ll remain dependent on them. While you’re feeling a little more positive on drugs, this is the time to find cool stuff to do, so you can rely on natural happiness to keep your brain “watered.”

I think it’s dangerous to believe that your brain is faulty. If you think that, it’ll passify you to the problem. You should be looking for groovy stuff, but if you’re convinced it’s your brain that is incapable of reacting to happiness, why would you even bother trying?

What makes an average person happy might not work for you.

It is also erroneous to think we all are happy about the same stuff. Just because A is enough for someone else, doesn’t mean it’ll be enough for you.

Be ambitious. Don’t think you cannot be excited about life. You can. You just may need to raise the bar instead of lowering it.

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