Development of the sexual orientation of the soul

According to the Free Spirit Theory, in the beginning of time we had no sexual orientation. We were spirits with no concept of anything to do with physical existence. We started out with one question: “What would we be if we could be anything.” This means that each soul would develop independently into being whatever it was that we wanted to experience. Now, it’s difficult to say what came first, our essence or our experience – which created our personalities, so we’ll leave that one alone for now as it’s sort of irrelevant here (will revisit that later). We had no attachment to each other at that stage, and our early history was violent. We needed to hack space for us to exist in, this was the phase of each man for themselves; let the weak perish! Explosions, lightning, fire and brimstone – of gasses and matter, because the Earth wasn’t born yet.

There were no rules, man-made nor God-made; we simply fought to exist. Gradually, we got more and more dense in matter, and eventually we became human. Through our incarnations we developed our Authentic Selves based on who we wish to become, and what we enjoy being. The purpose of our existence is to answer this question: “Who are you?” It’s not so much a test as it is an experiment; there are no right or wrong answers, simply a question, “what would happen… what would you choose… who would we turn out to be..?” Angel or Demon, makes no difference as long as it’s really you.

In the light of all that, each one of us has a potential of being of any sexual orientation or to not have a gender at all. HOWEVER, this is the interesting part: We automatically change bit by bit, one slight change at a time per a decade of life, or something similar, the changes that occur are so subtle and small, that we will never make a drastic change that is entirely accidental or unprecedented. If we want to make a change consciously, the change happens quicker. Our sexual orientation and even awakening happens gradually, and a lot of us really don’t have a true orientation yet but simply sexual habits that we follow according to societal norms. You really don’t know your true, authentic orientation until you feel pure, raw lust for another person.

Sexual awakening happens with our soulmates. We love them, we are safe with them and we want to bond with them physically. We need to find a way to integrate with them, find a connection. The people who you love fully, truly and profoundly are those who will awaken your sexuality, but no all sexual connections are acted out in a sexual intercourse. Some of these connections happen “through a proxy”, by a shared sexual soulmate or simply a shared sexual interest or situation, but I’m overcomplicating this now.

The gender that we feel drawn towards reflect the gender of our closest soulmate(s), True Emotion Mirror(s). This person or these persons are those that you have already had the chance to fall in love with in previous incarnations, and who have truly profoundly loved you and made you feel alive… They have risen emotions in you that you have not been able to experience with anyone else. Sometimes they are of your own gender or the opposite gender, and the way we bond with people is a combination of things rather than one thing over another: Circumstances of your previous life times, your previous life experiences with people (who could you trust) and finally; your own excitement over discovering new sexual experiences, both straight and homosexual. You will avoid people who make you feel bad: if women have always been trying to control you, you’ll avoid women. If men have tried to control you, you avoid men.

Ironically, one of the biggest reasons for creating homosexual soul bonds has been separating boys from girls for schooling years. This has made the opposite gender feel strange to you, and the friendships gained at the boy’s or girl’s schools have turned out to be the bigger, more important connection. Monasteries would have had the same effect, even if nothing homosexual happened in that life time, when the rules have loosened up, bonds created during those life times would bring these men and women closer to each other. The same applies in anything that creates a close bond between the members of the same gender, the army not being the least of those institutions. Whatever life situation creates intense connections between people, wartimes not being the least of those situations, will create homosexual bonds. Emotions are running high and the people who you trust are close to you. Whether or not these people happen to be of the same gender, a soulmate bond will get stronger.

Personally, I am probably the straightest person alive on this planet. I am both proud of it and awkward about it, because in current society, denying one’s bisexuality is a bit of a societal sin, especially for a girl, don’t you think? However, even I had to admit that there is a part of me that has the potential to turning bi, but the reason why I’m not going to turn bisexual is that a) I find it utterly exciting to be polyandrous female and keep all the men to myself b) I would find it “too easy” to swing both ways, like where’s the challenge if you find both genders arousing? c) I have found it difficult to trust the members of my own gender and d) my love for my men has been tried and tested over ions of incarnations and I don’t want to water that love down by introducing women into our group because they would change our group dynamic that we all so enjoy. (This is a boy’s club!) e) I don’t want women, and I don’t want to want them. I am not afraid that I would want them, I simply don’t want them, but if I wanted to want them, I know I could. (I know this is a bit disturbing, it is that to me, too.) At the end of the day, I can say that I am decidedly heterosexual, I was born this way, but this is not the way I need to stay if I should find it more exciting to be bisexual or homosexual. I also know, that I am homophobic in such a way that should a woman make aggressive passes at me, my genuine response to that would be violence. We all have a free will and complete potential, and that includes choosing our sexual orientation. I am absolutely certain that I could be brainwashed into homosexuality, but at the same time I know that my authentic self would pull me back towards heterosexuality in due time, because I enjoy this way of being more, and my history with my male soulmates runs so deep it’s in every cell of my being. (I am also painfully aware of female souls who have had the misfortune of taking me for bisexual or even gay and creating an Enigma bond towards me.)

Most of us are born with a clear sexual orientation but only if it has had time to develop during previous incarnations. The youngest of souls have a very vague idea of sexuality would behave according to the orientation they are expected to have without actually having deep sexual feelings if they have any. They would not really understand what the fuss is all about, and find seeking sexual contact with other people utterly bizarre behaviour because they don’t understand it. (Like born deaf people looking at dancers would feel dancing being weird.) We are born with the sexual orientation that reflects our previous life’s experiences, because our soul knows who they love and ache for. Sexuality comes from the soul, not from the body. Our sexual orientation changes through life experiences. Whoever liberated you into feeling great about yourself and your sexuality, free and loved for it, will alter your sexual orientation. This is not about body parts as much as it is about the compatibility of souls; true love.

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