Discover Your Ultimate sexual and spiritual life partner

In order to get you closer to the ultimate sexual and spiritual life partner of yours, your True Emotion Mirror, I will have to get you through a very basic aspect of your sexuality. This post is a lot like advising you to first check that you are not trying hard to combine a lesbian with a homosexual and try to make that relationship work in the romantic and sexual sense, but is about something a little less thought about but just as important. There is no doubt that a homosexual man can fall in love with a lesbian on the spiritual level, just like there is nothing stopping anyone from falling in love with anyone when the sexual aspect is removed, but this would clearly not be the ultimate sexual and spiritual partner that we all wish to find. Unfortunately, our culture treats non-sexual relationships as if they were some heightened variation of a love relationship. In truth, they are relationships that are lacking one major aspect of a profound connection, not relationships that have something extra. Historically speaking, I would guess the popular idea of non-sexual partnerships being more heightened or evolved than the sexual ones stem back to nothing but common jealousy from people who have made the mistake of marrying a sexually non-compatible partner, and then trying to live with that choice by passing it off as “an elevated” form of a relationship, when in reality, they wish they could swap places with the person with a full, loving and profoundly sensual relationship.

There are at least two reasons why people regard non-sexual relationships higher than the profoundly sexual ones, considering them the ideal spiritual love relationship, but ignoring the sexual aspect. One reason is nothing but common jealousy from people who have made the mistake of marrying a sexually non-compatible partner, and then trying to live with that choice by passing it off as “an elevated” form of a relationship, when in reality, they wish they could swap places with the person with a full, loving and profoundly sensual relationship. The second one is that since the majority of women are polygynist in nature, they do not really enjoy sex with polyandrous men that are the majority of the male gender. That means that a lot of women, who are, in fact, heterosexual or bisexual HATE SEX with polyandrous men, but love it with the polygynous, the same as polyandrous women hate sex with polygynist men, but love it with the polyandrous – but since the mismatch is the most common one under the pressures of expecting monogamy from everyone, women feel relieved when the expectation of sexual contact is removed from the relationship and thus feel that it is a pure relationship compared to a relationship with a polyandrist man required to be monogamous.

Monogamy is a counterproductive ideal to many, preventing even the truly monogamous from finding their ultimate sexual and spiritual life partner

It is a popular fallacy to believe that monogamy was the only true form of love relationships or spiritual unions. This belief is the NUMBER ONE cause of all agony and heartbreak in this world, and one that is unpopular simply due to monogamist fashion propaganda; once a man and a woman found their way together in a way that made everyone envious of their happiness and they decided the key to their love must have been the exclusion of all others. As they were also probably in love with the entire concept of exclusion of all others – being a true monogamist couple and all – they would have transferred the very firmly set idea that monogamist is the thing to be, causing everyone else struggle and fight for the survival of their monogamous bliss – something that they, themselves, were never even capable of achieving, because they were wired differently; completely capable of accepting and loving multiple partners at once. It is safe to say, that your ultimate sexual and spiritual life partner will feel the same way about the idea of monogamy and polygamyORpolygynandry¹ as you do – so there is no need to pretend to not have difficulties staying faithful or excited about a long term relationship in order to attract your ultimate partner(s).

Now, polygamyORpolygynandry² is massively misunderstood way to live, and the unromantic nature again lies in a misunderstanding and attachments of ideas that come from someone who does not understand love of that kind at all. Ideology-wise, monogamy is a form of loving that counts numbers. One. Two. Enough. polygamyORpolygynandry³, in its authentic form, does not count, it allows as many lovers into the relationship that creates a perfect balance. There is countless of ways to create a truly perfect way to love in a polygamousORpolygynandrous relationship, there may be power play, submissive, dominants, switches, primaries, secondaries, equals, heterosexuals, bisexuals, cross-dressers, you name it, everything can happen in a polygroup. What it should be built on is complete and utter acceptance of one’s own fetishes and needs and the full, complete acceptance and adoration for the fetishes of the other people with you. It should never be a simple Craig’s List affair, “a white couple is looking for a black man…” no, it should be natural, like accepting a new child into an already existing family.

Gay, bi, or straight is not nearly enough to determine your sexual orientation

I treat polygamousORpolygynandrous tendencies similarly to a sexual orientation. You will never make a polygynist (multiple women) and a polyandrist (multiple men) into a blissfully happy couple no matter what – but happy in the sense that this is what people normally dare to hope for. The irony is, that a natural polygynist and a natural polyandrist are the MOST COMMON male-female couple, because of the simple numbers in play; Most women are polygynist and most men are polyandrist. Even more ironically, poly relationships rarely work, because people have the tendency of doing onto others as they’d do to themselves, this is one advice in the Bible that DOES NOT WORK. What YOU want might not have ANYTHING to do with what someone else wants, and if you want to surround  yourself with several women, you might want to give that opportunity to a woman and give her the opportunity to have several male partners while you settle for the position of a cuckold when that does not suit you at all. You might also feel so flattered by your partners sacrifice, that you won’t even notice that wait a second, I actually like girls, too – because you think it is GIVEN that women are attracted to other women when that is not at all the case. OK, that was complicated, but what I mean is that if you allow someone else to do what you would want to do, you deny them the right to do as they wanted to do if they are your actual, authentic partner!

Let me give you an example: I heard of an elderly couple who had always had the same ritual with their bread loafs. She always ate the ends of the loaf, until one day he asked if he could, just this once, have the ends, because they were his favorites. “What do you mean IF YOU COULD HAVE THEM” his wife replied in horror: “For years I’ve been eating them so you wouldn’t have to!” At the same time, he had not touched them, just to give her the chance to have the best part of the bread. That is love – done unto others as you’d do to yourself.

Your ultimate sexual and spiritual life partner requires absolute honesty to know they are that to you

You will never get your soulmate situation sorted out until you know exactly where you stand in the poly-mono-sub-dom-andry-gyny -scale… At least not to perfection. The constant on again off again maybe nothing more than you insisting that you are both monogamous or SHOULD BE monogamous when you really cannot choose between your lovers… And if you can’t choose, they are ALL “intended” for you as your permanent partners.

It is also an illusion to think that a polygamistORpolygynandrist isn’t capable of commitment and staying happy with only one partner. They can, and ironically, the partner who can do this easiest is the centric, the hinge of a polygon; meaning that the one of the partners who should be the only one of their own gender, the one you’d THINK is running around aimlessly from one person to the other, but no, this is the one who is quite capable of forming a lasting monogamous bond to one of his or her true lovers, provided they’ve only met one or that there is only one of them around at the time, or that the others are keeping a polite, respectful distance from the happy couple. She or he is accustomed to fall in love all the time, and therefore they know that should they make a commitment to one, it requires a conscious choice to block everyone else out. It is usually the one who is keeping the sole position that should be shared with many members of his or her own gender that is feeling antsy; they KNOW they are not supposed to monopolise their loved one, and will always be uneasy in that position.

What you think about polygamy in general affects your love life, even if you are a real monogamist

Secondly, the image that you have about polygamy is likely to be very stereotypical and probably pretty ugly and unsexy. The possible reality, that is still not quite attainable to a lot of people YET due to such tightly stuck societal norms and prejudice is quite different. Firstly, you simply have to think about your ultimate sexual and spiritual partner, paint the perfect picture and you will already know where you are headed. Think about your sexual fantasies and you get a lot closer still. For instance, one would think that a polyandrous group, with a lot of men and just one woman would be some kind of a bunch of flamboyant gay men with feather boas everywhere, huddled around a Madonna- or Kylie lookalike or a bunch of submissives who are completely whipped to obedience by a heavy leather wearing femdom. Although both ideas can work for some, to many of us, we need a little bit more romance to help us along.

How about you tried to imagine your favorite exes and put them all in one room together and imagine that they would all be as close as they were brothers and/or sisters, loving each other like mad, what kind of a relationship do you now see? How about you add that one person who you have always been madly in love with but you thought you could never have someone like that? Replace your exes with your best friends and see how you go. What kind of a relationship do you NOW have in your hands? Imagine a relationship where your gender is the submissive or your gender is the sexually dominant or do they mix? How do they feel to you? For instance, sometimes girls need a little girl power against one amazing guy they’re all too aware of being very popular amongst women, so if you can’t have him alone, why not team up with your best girl and see if you can coax him into something? Play with these ideas – if you, by the way, are a tarot reader woman who loves to read from cards displaying all female characters, you are sure to be a polygynist! Purely heterosexual people do prefer the aesthetics of the opposite gender, to a purely heterosexual woman, there is nothing as beautiful as the male body – and if you can’t even imagine there IS such a thing, you are certainly not a heterosexual woman. And just for a point, even when we see an attractive member of our non-preferred gender, we tend to view them in a manner of a piece of art, or as the replacement of ourselves; we identify with that person if they are of the same gender and apply ourselves into their shoes: “I wish I had her/his body” for instance rather than: “I wish I could touch him/her.” You might also view them through the eyes of someone else; you might want to see them have sex with your preferred gender, rather than you, yourself, if that makes sense.

This should never feel like “do I have to”?!

Your authentic sexual mode should never feel like a chore or something you need to agree to in order to be loved. It should sound like “OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T I NOT SEE THAT BEFORE?!”, rather than “oh I don’t want to!” Once you gasp in awe at the mere thought of actually doing something like that you know you’ve got the right thing for yourself, so never force these thoughts onto yourself so you would be the right kind – I am actually trying to unravel the effects of that kind of thinking here. Your ultimate sexual and spiritual partner should feel the exact same way about your ultimate romance unless they are blocking something out – but it’s best one of you get the idea at some stage, and through spirit, you will communicate your needs and make a transition quite easily.

If you feel stuck in the feeling of “do I have to”, check to see if there is something in it that you enjoy? Do you like the idea of being forced into something you don’t like to do? (Latent submissiveness.) Do you like the idea of being told what to do, rather than the idea of choosing your own ideal way of living and being? (This could be a symptom of also being the Young Soul* rather than a Ravens*.) Also, who do you like to be commanded by; men or women? Do you like to blame someone else for your mistakes and failures in life? Is that pleasurable or a simple excuse?

If you REALLY TRULY want to have the most amazing love life you ever dared to dream about rather than the “OK it is not happening, what am I doing wrong and what can I actually realistically hope for?” variation of it, you will find it really amazing to dig into the deepest aspects of your mind to discover secrets you’ve even held from yourself.

1. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

2. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

3. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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