Does my True Emotion Mirror feel the same way as I do?

This is going to be a complicated answer. The simple answer is yes, but there are so many conditions to that yes, that it’s going to be a long post. The first condition is, that you have actually done your due diligence and made sure you have correctly identified this relationship’s soulmate type. There are plenty of soulmate types that so closely resemble the True Emotion Mirror connection on the surface, that it’s easy to talk oneself into believing that’s what it is. To tell beautiful lies to oneself. Typically, however, True Emotion Mirrors are well aware of that danger, and they fear they are lying to themselves.

I always say that if you have NO DOUBT that they feel the same way as you, they probably don’t, and if you KNOW in your heart they do, but your mind says “wait a minute”, that is often a good sign. HOWEVER, that is not foolproof, just a rule.

IF that person is your True Emotion Mirror, they feel the same way

There is a conditional statement in there. There should be another one; if this person is your REAL True Emotion Mirror, AND they are able to read your emotional space, then yes. However, IF you have convinced yourself of an Enigma, an Spousal Spirit Mirror, or some other lesser soulmate to be your True Emotion Mirror, then, the answer is no. IF that person is your OTHER THAN a True Emotion Mirror, then no, they don’t feel the same way as you do.

The most typically confused other type is the Enigma. They are unusually versatile people, who are like magnets to false alarms. A LOT OF PEOPLE fall in love with them and are convinced they are their True Emotion Mirrors. An Enigma is essentially a high genius. They learn new things so fast, they can instantly understand the meaning of a new word through telepathy, and they are insanely open-minded and quick to learn. So, you feel like they are adapting to you or that they are just like you, because of their ability to quickly understand what you are and what you need.

As they are so quick to learn, understand, and adapt, they put themselves aside for the time that they are with a new, incompatible person, to give that person room to breathe. If that situation prolongs, however, the Enigma starts to suffer, as they give others space so easily, that they often wind up not having space to themselves at all – and they need a lot of it. They have HUGE personalities, but they have an instinctive habit to allow others around them space because they need how important it is. They also know how easily people take them for braggers and even liars and narcissists if they fully reveal themselves to a new person. Their life stories maybe astounding, as they are magnets of trust, love, and curiosity. EVERYONE wants a piece of them.

I could have named them as “the god race”. Most of them have a bit of a god complex, especially the older they get, and the more they learn to accept themselves. The older they get, too, the more space they’ll need and the more likely they are to suicide if they cannot stay in the company of other Enigmas. They’ll feel entirely alone, the more normal people love and surround them, the more desperately they feel the need of other Enigmas.

Even if they are a True Emotion Mirror, they may have trouble feeling you

There are people who block themselves out of the emotion field of other people. You may be one of them. If you block your emotions away from another person, including your True Emotion Mirror, they may not recognize you. Enigmas are those people who tend to do that to protect other people around them from feeling dwarfed, but they also close up to protect themselves from their True Emotion Mirror – the pending rejection that they fear is coming.

Whenever people feel attacked, they tend to close up. Some people have developed a “mating ritual” of attacking their intended one, and they may close up as a result. It may mean that the attacker no longer feels them, thinks they’ve fallen in love with the wrong person and move on. One possibility.

People also tend to freak out a bit when they find a True Emotion Mirror, especially if they’ve been kinda sensible about love before. They feel it’s just a matter of finding someone suitable or something, and all of the sudden, they’re head over heels in love. Even though they don’t fear the emotion, they may fear LOSING that emotion so much, that they will first clamp up, and then wind up talking themselves out of the HOPE of being loved by that person. If they are prone to pessimism and depression, they might actually manage that task, even in the case of a True Emotion Mirror. Optimists are a little less prone to giving up hope.

Example

Myself. An example. I am starting to yawn at my own writing as I make myself an example so often, but I’m an easy example to make as I’ve got full access to my own emotions.

One of my True Emotion Mirrors , let’s call him the Greek Statue, as that’s descriptive, and I have been in some kind of a weird freaking relationship for five years or something in the ballpark. He is both Undecided and Uncharted True Emotion Mirror to me, and also an Enigma in general, as am I. (If a person is an Enigma, their True Emotion Mirror is also an Enigma.) If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s absolutely no hope of a real relationship with this guy. IF I wasn’t a freaking expert in the field, I’d say he’s a cold womanizer who uses me for sex. That’s what it looks like to the outside. However. I have learned some things.

I have complained to him over and over and over that I cannot feel his emotions. I’ve complained about him not opening up, and how I need more than just sex and the usual list of whine that I don’t normally have to lower myself to with men. I’ve tried to break up with him several times, but he keeps coming back with some pathetic sob story that I fall for. While we’ve been together, he got a girl pregnant and married her, all of the sudden. This story, in all of its twists, is absolutely the most pathetic piece of drivel I’ve ever encountered. You know how most people when they meet a True Emotion Mirror, they want to write a book about it? This one would be SO BAD it wouldn’t even make the dumbest low-grade romance novel shelf.

And yet, I know now he’s a True Emotion Mirror. We’re moving so slow though, that his daughter will graduate before we will get together.

Anyhow. The point.

He is ACTUALLY freaking mind-blowingly smart, talented, and deep. It has taken me years to discover this, as he hides it all so well as if he’d say a word about what he’s like, people would think he’s bragging. He can’t SAY what he knows, how talented he is because nobody would freaking believe him. He has to show it. From his ballroom dancing past, bodybuilding competition wins at first attempt, to his water skiing, kickboxing, guitar playing, speaking 4 languages… That’s as far as I’ve gotten so far, and I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve only scratched the surface. It seems life is so easy for him, that he’s freaked out about it. And he would have trouble finding someone who could understand exactly how easy it is.

And yet, without another Enigma nearby, he works at the chocolate factory floor, just like so many other Enigmas do a similar or no job at all. Without another Enigma, they’re useless and wasted.

My point gets lost. The first time we met through an online dating site, we found we lived about a block apart so we decided to go for a walk that night. It was the most boring first date I’ve had. I couldn’t wait to get away from this guy. It was like talking to a statue. He was a helluva good looking bloke, but I couldn’t get anything out of him. But when he leaned to kiss me goodbye, as people here tend to do, SPARKS flew. I could almost see visual sparks, and I figured… Oh. That’s how it is.

During this time, he’s been relentlessly after me. I’ve treated him more horribly than I’ve ever treated anyone, I’ve put him through some serious crap. He thinks I’m the nicest person he knows. I’ve been so fed up with him I’ve told him to fuck out of my life and not come back… But he’s back. And not because he’s a rejection junkie, I’m sure every time I send him away he swears this time he’ll stay away. But he comes back and things are a little better, he shares a little bit more about himself and I get to know him a little bit more, but it is SOOO SLOOOOW! I’m an old woman! I don’t have time for this! I’m running out of patience waiting for him to open up.

On text, we’re better. I can feel him while we’re texting, but together. NOTHING. Like making love to a statue. I know it is all in there, I’ve seen it in his eyes (the most gorgeous greek boy’s eyes, not the eyes of a man but an 8-year old island boy) and in short moments I can feel him… And then he’s behind a wall again.

So no, I don’t think I feel about him the same way he feels about me, but he is a True Emotion Mirror. I need an access to his emotions to feel the same way as he does, and he’s not letting me have it. I think he fears he’d scare me if I saw it all, but I NEED IT. That’s how we are, True Emotion Mirror Enigmas, full of talent and fire that needs matching.

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