Domination is caring – but not if the person you’re dominating doesn’t give a crap whether you live or die.

Please don’t flip out before I’m finished. 🙂 Dominating behaviors are a sign of love and caring, BUT without permission to dominate, it instantly turns into abuse.

Domination is much like sex: while it’s good in itself, you need consent to do it. It’s not ALWAYS linked to love, but it should ALWAYS happen with consent. (Now, there are instances where some might think I contradict myself in terms of consent in the area of submission and dominance games, but that falls a bit outside the scope of this post.) And much like sex, you HAVE TO inform the other person that they are not permitted to dominate you; you don’t love, trust, or respect them enough to give them permission to take the helm.

I would like to change people’s perspective on domination, both the people who are victims of it and those who do it out of turn. The goal of domination should not be to make you submit or serve your needs; it’s should be an act to make you better. But what is “better” is very subjective. That’s why you need the consent. Your idea of the goal, the perfection MUST MATCH. Domination must be done responsibly; if you dominate another person, you must be driving them toward a better version of who they are – and they must agree it is, indeed, a better version of who they are.

Dominant personalities feel so reassuring because it SHOULD MEAN they know what’s for the best, and that is why they are self-confident. You should never allow yourself to be dominant if you don’t know what you’re doing: that makes you an abuser, not a lover. A dominate person should never act in self-interest and should always act in the better of those they serve. A dominant individual is the ultimate server, one who does more for others than anyone else has to because they’re capable.

If that does not apply, we’re talking about AN ABUSER. Someone who has confused things. I don’t think they’re a bad person; I just think they don’t know they’re not supposed to dominate for the sake of domination, but they’re supposed to dominate ONLY if they are confident they know a better way forward.

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