Don’t regulate your emotions or feelings, rather, control your understanding of the situation and enhance self-confidence and self-esteem.

Your feelings and emotions are always right, but you don’t always know what they’re reporting. What is upsetting you is your current understanding of the situation rather than the situation itself.

For instance, you’ve decided that any remark about your appearance is an insult to you as a woman. You get an automatic alert when someone says something, anything, about the way you look. That causes emotional suffering when it doesn’t have to.

Still, instead of trying to quiet your upset, examine the true reason why you’re upset. Is it what was said or that it was said at all, or another reason? Do you feel that if you took a compliment for what it was meant, you’d betray people or yourself if you allowed yourself to feel pleased about what someone said rather than insulted that they had the gall to think you’d care, for instance?

Treat upset and unpleasant feelings as a bug report. An alert. Don’t silence the alarm, but go through the bug report and examine your true feelings and the causes to the upset.

Don’t try to be calm when you feel nervous. Why would anyone want to do that? Nervousness is a sign of danger. You have to examine the danger, not turn off the alarm. Maybe the only danger is that since you don’t know how this is going to go, you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself and that’s all. But maybe… Maybe you feel that this person is not someone you should be around. There is no possible good outcome to silence your alarms when you don’t trust someone for any reason – even if your reasons are dumb and learned from woke people. 😉 You better check where they’re coming from rather than dismiss them for an unnecessary feeling.

If you feel something is not going to work and it’s a waste of your time… Examine the reasons why you feel that way and then figure out if that’s true or if you are just being pessimistic.

Apply to every negative… No, Apply to every feeling. Even good ones. Sometimes, a good feeling can be a reason for concern. Maybe you feel good because you managed to bully someone into submission and to do something they didn’t want to do? That’s not good at all.

Studying your feelings is an absolute MUST if you want to ever grow up in this world.

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