E. Bonding Motivation: Sapio/Physio -modalities

Posted on Sunday, March 1st, 2020 at 8:00 am in Australia - Last edit on December 31, 2024 Tags: Attachment Styles

The following is a bit of a tiring read but can be illuminating once you get it. If you’ve read a few posts already, maybe a break before delving into this one might be a good idea.

We are all combinations of at least a few basic traits, and the presence or absence of them changes the way we interact with people. This is the basis of what everything else about you is built on.

Please review the short descriptions, and then, let’s dig deeper.

Meaning of the Words

Let’s break these down quickly: Sapio – mind, thinking, intelligence (similarly to Homo Sapiens – thinking human, or human thinking) Physio – physical, physicality (not surprisingly). Amory, amoria – romantic (sexually tinted) love, as opposed to platonia – completely non-sexual love, (word trickery to avoid the word ‘philia’ which once had no sexual connotations).

Note, that not all people can feel all of these forms of love – or haven’t learned to recognize them when they do. Don’t get too weirded out by that, just saying that if it doesn’t ring any bells, don’t worry about it, move on. You’ll figure it out soon enough. You’ll also feel a certain type of love toward different genders, based on your orientation, for example, I feel amoria for men, and platonia for women, generalizing.

So, the “amoria” tickles the heart -area, right? You feel romantically excited about the thought of… (safety, sharing sexual thoughts, having a family together, looking for a spouse for each of us; friendship) what? This doesn’t yet translate to sexual arousal but is very close to it. It can also be left here, as in a non-sexual, but a romantic relationship, that is about an inch away from turning into an actual sexual relationship. “State of potential” in many taboo-relationships, such as a close friendship between same-gender (closet) bisexual people.

Romantic, in this case, doesn’t necessarily refer to a sexual relationship, but a type of romanticized, glamorized, idealized romance, like ‘”the romance of brotherhood” or “a romanticized idea of a war” (although a war veteran nearly ripped me a new one after I suggested war can be romanticized, and yet, philosophers and poets have done it all history through, while actual soldiers see it somewhat differently). But the point being, that whatever idea is romantic to you, in the sense that albeit real, it gets this magical stardust effect in your mind. The “rose-colored glasses”. Sure, reality takes it away at times, but still, it’s there, right?

the Normal Person*

the Normal Person*, like mentioned in the sexual orientation post, are somewhat impossible to pin down here, too. They feel sexual arousal by being dominated or for dominating, and they also feel love for dominance rather than “the mind” therefore, they are, regardless of what happens to turn them on or make them fall in love, primarily the Normal Person*, and they choose their side or box based on what annoys people the most or makes them admire them most. (Irritation -> confrontation -> fight -> dominance/submission -> sexual arousal.) Therefore, they’ll always oppose you just to be turned on and to turn you on… And therefore, the Normal Person* don’t truly have a type beyond being the Normal Person*.

The modalities

One person can feel all of these, but you can be completely normal and not feel but one or two. Pick as many as applies to you. (And yes, they depend on which type of a relationship you’re in, but most people don’t have all of these activated, nor should they. You are likely to also feel different types of love toward men or women, but it can be any of these types depending on the person.)

You can also notice, in yourself, how one leads to another, but you cannot reach one without another type of attraction being available. Such as, you cannot truly fall in love unless… What? Feel your way into the following, and see how you would order these in terms of different relationships, your ultimate sexual/romantic relationship in particular.

You may also notice that you NEVER feel a certain feeling in a relationship. That is OK, too, although some people may have an issue with it because they cannot hold you down by it. (Such as feeling the need for nurture, for example, which often drives maternally-aligned women insane… For having the need to nurture but not being able to use it on grown men and many women. Sugar daddies, btw, notice your need is to nurture, too. Nurture or control, often the two needs are closely linked.)

You only need to feel one out of the examples to grab the label. Then later, try and order them. (For instance, I may be a physiosexual but after falling sapioamorously in love, one can also appreciate someone’s sexual in a sapiosexual way, while without falling in love the feeling might be sapioplatonist attraction to someone’s sexual mind.)

Sexual attraction to another person’s personality, way of thinking, and intelligence? (Sapiosexuality)
Sexual attraction to another person’s sexual mind? (Sapiosexuality?)
Sexual attraction to dangerous or violent people. (Sapiosexuality – mind over body, feeling)
Sexual attraction to another person’s physical presence (body heat) (Physiosexuality)
Sexual attraction to nurturing or being nurtured. (Physiosexuality)
Sexual attraction to the feeling of being controlled. (Physiosexuality)
Sexual attraction to the feeling of safety. (Physiosexuality)
Romantic attraction to another person’s personality, way of thinking, and intelligence (Sapioamory)
Romantic attraction to another person’s sexual mind?! (Sapioamory)
Romantic attraction to dangerous or violent people. (Sapioamory – mind over body)
Romantic attraction to another person’s physical presence (body heat) (Physioamory)
Romantic attraction to nurturing or being nurtured. (Physioamory)
Romantic attraction to being controlled. (Physioamory)
Romantic attraction to the feeling of safety. (Physioamory)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to another person’s personality, way of thinking etc. (Sapioplatonia)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to another person’s sexual mind? (Sapioplatonia)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to dangerous or violent people (Sapioplatonia – ie. conquer one’s fear for one’s life)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to another person’s physical presence (body heat) (Physioplatonia)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to nurturing or being nurtured. (Physioplatonia)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to being controlled. (Physioplatonia)
Non-sexual idealized attraction to the feeling of safety. (Physioplatonia)

Combinations

Mainly, we’re aiming to combine one platonia -type, one amory -type, and one sexuality -type for each person, as a default setting. The main setting will be broadened with true love, amore. Sometimes people don’t have a platonia mode at all, or it’s very easily turned into amoria or sexual feelings. (Paedophilia setting. Out of all of these, the ability to love platonically is the most vital one to know how to do. Secondly, to understand that other people, while being able to love platonically, still PREFER and PRIORITIZE sexual love.)

Can you identify a base-level for yourself, like what is the IDEAL you wish to find (or feel blessed to have found) FOR YOURSELF in a relationship? (This is not a philosophy suggesting you should try to dictate your informed recommendation for other people, but your OWN, personal ideal. Everyone will choose their own blend.)

Sexual orientation

Obviously, the romantic relationships are subject to your sexual orientation. You won’t be feeling sexual or romantic attraction toward a person that is of the wrong gender for you. (This is not as obvious to all people as you’d think.) If you feel that you are a platonist toward the opposite gender, explore your feelings with your own gender people, instead. You might still feel that you are a platonist, but you might be surprised.

Also, pick someone you trust and love for your tests, preferably not a family member to avoid creepiness. :p (Yes, this, also, is something that one has to remind people of, mothers, in particular, who can sometimes confuse a nurturing feeling to a sexual feeling, and vice versa. Mothers also sometimes feel like they’re betraying their children if they consider the feelings of love they feel for someone else… and that can get freaking creepily close to pedophilia, which, then a mother doesn’t always recognize as such, as we’re learned to link pedophilia to men only. Having said that, I don’t condemn paedophilic FEELINGS, as they are perfectly natural, I condemn them only when they turn into tyrannical form of projection (my child wanted it because I wanted it), aka, resulting to raping a child under the guise of “love” or “natural love”.)

General types

As I said, we’re all a combination of several types. The way these types combine in you changes the way you interact and match others. Some combinations can be tricky if they lack a natural ‘off switch’. For instance, a sapiosexual who has no platonic love mode in them tend to be truly closed up around other people. They share very little of themselves to others, particularly new people because they feel like revealing their minds is similar to whipping their privates out in public. (Hence “private thoughts?” lol)

That is not to be confused with non-sapiosexuals. They have realized that sharing certain thoughts is seen as inappropriate because THEY DO NOT directly link sexual feelings to sharing thoughts and feelings with others. If a non-sapiosexual sapioamorist is in the company, they are more than willing to talk about things, as they FALL IN LOVE with the mind, but don’t connect sexual feelings to the mind, but the body of the person. (They make love to the mind through the body, but they certainly fuck the body… Yes, it’s complicated.)

People with a platonic mode available can interact with others with a relaxed mindset, as they are not constantly terrified of being sexually turned on by or helplessly falling in love with someone’s physical presence or the way they talk and express themselves as soon as it happens. People with platonia mode active can also realing their amorous or sexual feelings toward a person if they are rejected and make them platonic instead. (Think of Ser Jorah Mormont’s devotion to Khalesi in the Game of Thrones.)

Sapioamorist

is a common way of falling in love with a person’s mind rather than their physical body. Many people wonder how else does a person fall in love, and the answer is below.

It would be a bizarre thought to a Sapioamorist, that someone might fall for something other than a person’s mind.

Challenging this view, a sapioamorist is often quite attuned to others’ psyche, and can instinctively know who they like, even if they’d never spoken to that person. It is possible for a sapioamorist to fall in love at first sight without talking to that person – which is interesting considering they fall in love with their mind.

A sapioamorist is somewhat selective. They’re like a botanist looking for a specific plant. “I am looking for an orchid, and only an orchid will do.” They will also be selective about their botanist the same way. “Only an orchid specialist is good enough, although I’ll settle for a general gardener temporarily.”

Physioamorist

A physioamorist is NOT able to fall in love with a person they’ve just met. They do not fall for the mind or the spirit of a person, but how reliable they are. They fall in love once they know this person is going to stick around, and that they can count on this person.

A physioamorist is also prone to gifts, marrying rich, and prioritizing physical safety and comfort over other factors that others choose their partners with.

A physioamorist is like a general gardener. They fall in love with whatever rises from the ground. Although it sounds lovely, they don’t really APPRECIATE the differences between people, they IGNORE them. “I don’t care whether you’re an orchid, rose, or a daffodil, a flower is a flower and they all need love and care. A rose is no better than a dandelion!” They would literally be equally happy to “marry” an orchid, daffodil, or a rose, no difference, whatsoever. A Sapioamorist cannot understand this. All a physioamorist see is a stem, a flower, and a few leaves, and that’s all there is to a flower.

Sapiosexual

A sapiosexual is a person who gets sexually turned on by another person’s mind, literally. Although the term sapiosexual is rather widely used, strictly speaking, it often refers to sapioamory instead or as well. A sapiosexual feels sexual arousal over the way another person’s mind works and is often very protective of their mind – they feel showing a brain (or a personality) off is a similar social no-no as walking around nude in public.

Again, orchid-hunters as opposed to general gardeners.

Physiosexual

A physiosexual is a person who feels sexually turned on by the physical presence of another person. They have no trouble getting aroused by a person they don’t truly like that much or at all on the mental level.

A physiosexual isn’t fussy about the way a person’s body looks, contrary to a popular assumption, but is turned on by the PRESENCE of another person, rather than the aesthetics of theirs, which is a Sapiosexual process.

A physiosexual will be sexually turned on by any different flower – but to a sapioamorist physiosexual, this means a one-night stand or a temporary fling.

Mind you, a Physiosexual can be turned on by an intelligent person talking, and in that setting, they are turned on by the fact someone is present with them and is talking to them. However, they won’t be able to summarize what was being talked about, because they are only listening to the VOICE of the person, not the contents of their thoughts. Such people can confuse themselves as sapiosexuals because intellectual people like to talk to anyone willing to listen, which makes them sexual objects to a physiosexual with specific arousal over a person’s voice.

Sapioplatonist

Sapioplatonist is a term that should be, grammatically speaking, a sapiophilist but due to misleading connotations, I have veered a little and call it sapioplatonia. A sapioplatonist is a person who feels non-sexual love for the mind of another person, such as a growing child. If a sapioplatonist had a child of their own, they’d focus on the child’s mind without feeling sexually aroused by it. Sapioplatonist feelings can also be attached to other non-sexual relationships, like friends, other family members, co-workers, and such.

Without having this ability, life can be difficult.

Sapioplatonist can love a lot of different minds, considering that it is OK to have many friends.

Physioplatonist

A physioplatonist is a person who feels non-sexual love toward a person’s physical presence. “You’ve been with me for so long…” They may be overly concerned about people’s physical well-being while ignoring their mental health, if they do not have the sapioplatonist side to themselves activated, so to speak.

A physioplatonist attempts to make friends by simply sticking around other people, to make themselves feel familiar to them, without feeling the need to talk to these people. Think of a dog that gradually gets closer, expecting to eventually get pats and scraps of food.

Physioplatonist loves everyone familiar around them but is suspicious of strangers. This goes as far as “better the devil you know”. They’ll choose a horrifying, violent relationship with someone they’re familiar with over a relationship with the gentlest or the most giving and loving person they don’t know.

Combining these changes approaches

I’ll leave the platonia -types from the following for now, as they’re somewhat inconsequential, and would force me to add another three modes for each of the following. Just to say that lacking platonia -mode completely will make a person’s life somewhat different, as there’s nowhere to hide from sexual feelings except denial.

Sapiosexual Sapioamorist – Falls in love with a personality, and gets turned on by their presence. No platonia mode means that they are CONSTANTLY turned on by and gushing at intelligence. Nowehere to hide. Will make them SUPER CLOSED UP. Won’t talk anything outside weather/school/work/births of babies. Sexually over-charged through intelligence. (No need for physical beauty.)

Sapiosexual Physioamorist – An interesting character in that they open up about their personality only after someone has stuck around for long enough for them to create trust. They fall in love by someone sticking around and proving to be “a keeper” but are sexually aroused by the person’s mind rather than the body. A sapioplatonist and sapioamorist will find it very difficult to understand them, as they keep their sapiosexuality under a good seal. As a sapioamorist needs to hear a person’s mind work in order to fall in love with them, a sapiosexual physioamorist sticks around a lot but never talks about anything important making it impossible for a sapioamorist to feel love toward them.

Physiosexual Physioamorist – Falls helplessly in love with anyone who sticks around for long enough. Won’t discriminate intellectually. Lacking a platonia -mode turns a physiosexual physioamorist into a Weinstein-type.

Physiosexual Sapioamorist – Falls in love with a person’s mind, but is sexually aroused by the body. However, a quirk here is that since they connect sexuality with the body, they are attracted to beauty as an intellectual aspect. As in “ugliness (inability to groom or stay fit) is a sign of stupidity, and thus, unattractive”. No connection to sexuality through the mind, they can flaunt their thoughts (even sexual thoughts) with no worries.

Anyone in the public eye is most likely a sapiosexual physioamorist, as they have no issues talking about their true feelings with platonic friends and fans. The physiosexual sapioamorist is more than likely the main readership of this blog. Always attractive to all other types; (they show off their brain without a worry, often look good, and are sexually open, and also, it is likely that they also exist somewhere for prolonged periods of time, including television/media, and they more than likely have the platonia mode activated so everyone’s needs are catered to even when they’re just being who they are.) They can find it difficult to detach from other people’s hopes and dreams while struggling to find their own way forward.

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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.

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