Elitist, perfectionist, not a narcissist.

Many people probably confuse the concepts of elitism and perfectionism with narcissism, a narcissistic personality disorder. They are not the same thing. A person can be an elitist and a narcissist but they can just as well be a non-elitist but a narcissist. It is somewhat impossible to be a perfectionist and a narcissist simultaneously. That works only for people who have a very limited scope for their perfectionism… Lazy cunts, I call them.

Narcissism is a function of blindness to one’s own flaws, which is the exact opposite of perfectionism. Elitism is the function of wishing to surround themselves with other perfectionists – if I’m doing the work, I want you to do it, too. A narcissist will easily decide “even though you are perfect and I acknowledge that, I feel entitled to the fruits of your labour, without feeling the need to compensate.”

A narcissist wants elite treatment and company without feeling the necessity of doing the work required to be considered a part of that group. That is a non-elitist non-perfectionist narcissist.

Perfectionist-narcissist requires a very narrow scope.

An elitist perfectionist narcissist would have to have a very limited scope to his or her perfectionism for that to work. They maybe a perfect singer, then believe that this one trait entitles them to elite company even if they were a failure in manners, grace, looks, and purity of character. They maybe entirely blind to some aspect of expectations, and still consider themselves worthy of the same treatment as those who are not. That is narcissitic entitlement.

Being a member of one elite group doesn’t necessarily qualify you for another.

An elitist may understand that their current standards or performance doesn’t quite measure up to another elite groups requirements. A perfectionist concert pianist with the perfect character won’t automatically qualify for elite navy seal squat, but you cannot deny that both groups are elite. One person’s love of the perfect nose may disqualify me from being their elite wife, and as a non-narcissist I’m OK with that.

A narcissist feels they don’t need to be perfect for perfect people owing them their lives. (Feeling inherent superior importance.)

A narcissist requires others to have virtues they feel they don’t need to have in order for that other person to be theirs to use. A narcissist like that may have a former dictator trauma, when they imagine other people to belong to them like possessions to use as they wish, without them having to be any good for that to be true. A good perfectionist would notice that about themselves and work to remove a flaw of that sort. If you have past life memories of being a member of non-performative elite (entitlement by birth), check yourself. You maybe human scum in other perfectionists eyes.

A perfect perfectionist will not limit their scope.

A perfect perfectionist will not turn a blind eye to a flaw, whether a flaw in body, character, or skill. It is hard work, it is constant minute-to-minute hard work, and a perfectionist does it out of their own free will. It HAS TO BE your own free will, it is entirely too difficult to do if you simply feel pressured to do it. You need to your attention on yourself every waking hour, and even if someone tried to force you to do it, they couldn’t monitor you on that level, on the level of your very thoughts. A proper perfectionist does this to themselves.

A perfectionist doesn’t think they are perfect. They can’t afford such a luxury. To do it right, you must be constantly aware of your own flaws, evaluating which ones are actual flaws and which are not, weed, prune, cultivate.

An elitist figures they are deserving of company, friends, and lovers that do the same – or at least some amount of the same.

As for  myself, I am a (limited) elitist and a full perfectionist (I try to perfect the hierarchy of importance, which is the order of effort/attention you put into things with limited resources like time and money). A narcissist? No. I feel relaxed in the company of other perfectionists, because they watch their own damned selves so I don’t have to worry what crap they might pull on me at random. My language? Ah, the perfect little quirk I have chosen for my own amusement. 😀

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