Everyone wants to be with people they love, rather than with people who love them

It is more fun to love people than to be loved by people. Everyone kind of knows this, because everyone is seeking for the company of people they love, rather than the company of people who love them. Love from people who you don’t love feels like nothing. It is completely meaningless, but at the same time, you love the company of people who you love, regardless of whether they love you back or not.

This creates a situation where “lovers” accuse their loved ones of narcissism without realizing what they are accusing them off is completely warped. When a “lover” accuses their loved one who doesn’t appreciate the fact they’re loved of narcissism, they assume the person who is loved SHOULD be a narcissist, who is completely happy being the object of love that they do not return to their subordinates. There are a lot of people who believe that because they are able to love others, it means they are better people or at least deserve appreciation for their ability to love without receiving love in return. Yet, if you’d ask them to love someone they don’t love, or be the object of love of someone they don’t love, they wouldn’t care for it much, either, I’m sure.

Just imagine

If you think a person should feel blessed if people love him or her despite their feelings for their lovers, imagine roles reversed. You’re the object of love of people you don’t love, admire, or even respect. Do you feel amazing? Or trapped? Do you feel short-changed?

That is probably how the object of your love feels.

Nobody loves people who they don’t love for the virtue of them loving them. You can be thankful at best, maybe appreciative, or amazed if these people form masses and masses of people, but NOBODY wants to be around people who they don’t love, but monopolize their time and space with a justification that THEY love that person.

We all feel amazing around the people we love and admire

This is what celebrities are for. Their fans don’t care whether the celebrity loves them back or not – it would be amazing just to get them to acknowledge you exist, to some people it feels all the better if they get to shower their love to a star who notices it but doesn’t flinch returning it. The celebrity, however, may go to their grave feeling unsatisfied, UNLUCKY IN LOVE, and even “unloved” despite the fact that scores of people have genuinely loved them for their entire career.

The reason being, that love from people you don’t love feels like lukewarm water or skin-temperature air: Like it wasn’t even there. It feels like nothing, but the requirement for love/appreciation returned feels like crap.

But, just a moment with the person or people you love and admire can become the one moment that made your life worth living… Whether they loved you back or not.

That’s why we’re all looking for opportunities to be close to the people we admire and love.

That is not to say that receiving love isn’t amazing

That is not to suggest that receiving love wasn’t amazing, because it is – as long as it comes from someone you love and admire, too. The more you love and admire a person, the less attention they need to pay to you in order to send you flying.

Their attention to you feels so good, that just CATCHING their attention can feel amazing, to the point that you’ll insult the person you admire just to get them have a look in your direction for a second.

But when that love comes to you because THEY love and admire you, too, it may be even SO GOOD you want to ignore that and focus solely on loving them, and you may even deflect the fact they love you with a “that’s nice but so unnecessary”, because it a) Feels amazing they want to be with you b) feels amazing enough just to be around you, and getting more love than what you can channel through your system may require some getting used to.

Honestly, I feel that people who haven’t received love from people they love for years or even lifetimes, it may take them some time to get used to being loved again. And the love and admiration from people they don’t truly love back may keep them… hopeful that one day someone they love will love them back, but not much more. It’s like going without food for too long, and getting used to eating again will take some time… So you deflect the love a bit because it can get too much to take, too good, too amazing, too surreal.

Because luck is to be around the ones you love. Unbelievable luck is to be with people who you love and loved back by them.

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