Finding your soulmate through increasing your self-awareness

Self-awareness means that you are aware of your own motivations, feelings, emotions, thoughts, likes, dislikes, dreams, goals, and anything else that is related to your own way of being. A person who is not very self-aware will pay little attention to what they are internally thinking and focus mostly on the external; other people, news, TV, anything other than their own emotional state. This can sometimes be a condition caused by a trauma that causes a person to direct all their attention outward instead of inward, sometimes it is simply habit not yet learned.

Because we are all creating our own reality by bringing into our lives anything that we are aware of wanting into it, it is very beneficial to know what it is that want to bring into our lives. This knowledge is so often blocked by having been told what you should want or what you probably want based on stereotypical thinking and following the norm. Many times a person can block their true feelings and wants out of their consciousness simply because they feel they do not have a right to want it or that they would be setting themselves up for a disappointment if they admitted it to themselves what they truly wish to see happen in their lives.

One of the strongest blocks we tend to have is the wish to experience strong, passionate love relationships. I know of great law of attraction gurus who teach you to lower your standards for love because even they do not believe in the power of manifestation when it comes to true love. Sad is our world when the dreamers decide to compromise in the sake of reasonable hopes.

Out of personal experience: Looking back at my life, I had plenty of opportunities to grab what I wanted out of life. An opportunity after opportunity was presented to me and every time I failed to grab them. Why? Because, I was still denying what I wanted. I was too embarrassed to want what I want, too embarrassed to even admit it to myself. Only through deciding to work on my self-awareness I became … well, aware of everything that I had done wrong. I lost 20 years trying to avoid my true dreams, but boy did I learn to dream after that!

Self-awareness, your soulmates, and giving up your dreams

You do not need to be a psychic or a mystic in order to find your soulmate through increasing your self-awareness. What you do need to have is honesty and braveness to face your true self. You might not like everything you find, but at the same time, the more you get to know yourself, the more you’re probably going to like you – after all – you chose to be that way. To know yourself is about 75% of knowing your soulmate. This means that when you truly know who you are, you have unlocked the majority of the person that your soulmate is. (I love throwing in unfounded mathematical figures for the sake of credibility. 😉 ) What I mean is that your soulmate is an Destination Soulmate to what you are. EXACT. Read this through: EXACT. The people who tell you that there is no such thing as a perfect individual are still thinking that they themselves are somehow flawed and that everyone else is, too, or worse yet, they still think they themselves are perfect, but nobody else is. No. We are all individuals, and the way you are, someone else will be too – plenty of people will be a lot like you, and many of them EXACTLY the right way. The ONLY WAY to be completely certain to miss out on a soulmate relationship is by telling yourself that there is no such thing as a perfect counterpart. Should you meet them, you will talk yourself out of trusting your instincts because you are SURE soulmates do not exist and therefore, who you are dating is fake or you are delusional… Soulmates, in your view, in any sense of the word, are not real.

When you do meet your soulmate, they will reveal things to you about yourself that will blow your mind, so even if you do know yourself well after your exercises, your soulmate will unlock another part of you that only he or she holds the key to. You will expand, and, as a result, and you will grow. But first, let’s just uncover as much of you as we can before we reach out to your soulmate.

Take your own most authentic obsession you can think of. Something you’ve loved since forever. It can be anything. Let’s say you love model trains. What is it about model trains that make you so excited about them? The detail? The miniature size of them, how you can imagine things happen inside the train as it travels trough man-made scenery, scenery that you, yourself created? All those imaginary people inside the trains and their family and friends waiting for them at the station? Right? So you have imagination. You love to imagine things. Do you ever write stories? Should you? Maybe you simply like the internal world inside your head, maybe you love taking care of things that are smaller than you. Maybe you like the responsibility for the imaginary people on the train, the people you love so much? I don’t know, you tell me. See what I did there? Connect to the emotions you feel about your obsession and discover what it is that you are truly doing when you are spending time with your favorite hobby. (A voice in my head says “Childhood!” in connection to the trains; innocence, purity, untouched world of wonder! So what did that innocent child think he’s going to grow up into and where did he go?)

Speaking of you as a child, would you dare to look your 8-year self in the eye, now? How about the 17-year old? How much would they tell you, you fucking suck?! How much did you manage to screw those guys over? Is there anything you can salvage? Who did you please over killing the child inside of you, or the ambitious 17-year old who thought you were going to be awesome? And, who did that 17-year old thought was the sexiest person alive? Who did he want to love? Be friends with? Or, was he or she already afraid to admit who they loved was the one they loved?

I don’t know if 8 and 17 years are pivotal to you, but they were to me. Trace back to the ages when you felt “a click” and “a click”. What ages in your life did you know yourself the best? Who told you that the person you were wasn’t good enough for passionate love? (You will never lose weight?)

Do you know what happens when people tell you, you cannot have what you want because it is unrealistic and wanting it is childish and stupid? You lose your will to live, that’s what happens. You won’t be closer to your goals, you will stop wanting to get to any of your realistic goals, because if you did, that would be death…

Increasing self-awareness through conscious work

1. Decide if this interests you. If not, forget about it, no point stressing over it if you don’t want to do it.
2. Make a decision to pay attention to your own emotions and feelings as you go through your day.
3. Increasing your self-awareness becomes quite easy when you keep this in mind: You are what you enjoy. Anything that you are doing or thinking without taking enjoyment out of it is fake, and not you. Start paying attention to the difference. This includes EVERYTHING. If you find something you don’t WANT TO enjoy but do, first give yourself a permission to indulge in a fantasy of it, until you’ve worn it out so thoroughly it feels like you’ve already done it and you can either let go of it or explain it to yourself why you enjoy that thought (still) and you are MUCH more capable of controlling it, whatever it is. (This is especially important to do if you find you enjoy the idea of something illegal. Suppressing it increase your chance of not being able to control it. For instance, something that used to be a murderous rage, after this will become a humorous feeling: “I really want to kill you” but you find the emotion comfortable, amusing even, not uncontrollable urge you need to follow.)
4. Follow any one of your obsessions at the rate that they come to you. Whatever interests you the most is the correct starting point. (This includes porn. 😀 You simply have to become aware why you enjoy what you enjoy.)
5. Remind yourself to not block away thoughts. They are only thoughts, you have a right to them even if they were controversial. “You are not supposed to think that way” is invading your freedom of speech before the thought has crossed your mind. Erase politeness from your mind. Remember that if there is  nothing wrong with being something, it is OK to make a note of it. So, if there’s nothing wrong with being fat, you can make a note of someone being fat. If you find that you don’t like someone, figure out why. You’d be surprised how good your reasons are.
6. Chase the uncomfortable thought. They are the best sources of insight. Whenever you encounter a point where you feel you’re telling yourself “to not think about it” or “to leave it” or “to ignore it” as a matter of course, there is probably something in there hiding. “I don’t love my wife/husband.” “I didn’t want children.” Just to point out a couple of examples of stuff people systematically block out of their consciousness and you understanding why. It is important to chase the uncomfortable thought because SO OFTEN it is not what you think it is. The “I don’t love my wife/husband” in reality may be: “I am afraid I don’t love…” You fear that you don’t, but you do… For instance.
7. Make a list of things that impress you about a person. Make a list of things that you don’t like about a person. If you tend to judge people quite harshly, focus on the impressive list. If you tend to forgive people for their flaws too easily, focus on the latter list.
8. Think of all the things you wanted to do but did not. (Because it is too expensive?)
9. Learn to read Tarot for increasing self-awareness.

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