Gender identity cannot be based on gender stereotypes!

I worry about people of this modern generation. They are being told that gender identity is somewhat of a mysterious “spectrum”. It isn’t. Gender is binary. Gender stereotypes and gender roles, however, are archaic. I don’t care if you’re a man who loves cooking and wears a dress. You’re still a man to me. Whatever is in a person’s pants defines their gender. THEY define how different people can be. NOT that not all people know how to be “a man” or “a woman”, a concept. No. Each individual proves that a man or a woman can be a range of things. WIDE range of things. The words male or female shouldn’t really tell ANYTHING except what’s in your pants. The rest should be left for discovery.

You have the RIGHT to your own sex-matched gender

I know things can be more complicated than this, HOWEVER. If you don’t MIND being called a man or a woman based on your sex, you have every right to be that. If your hatred toward the words comes from the EXPECTATIONS loaded to that gender, that’s different. I don’t like being called a woman when that word is loaded with a crap ton of expectations related to babies, cooking, cleaning, and “maternal goddess energy”. Ewww. I’m nothing of the sort! However, I am a female, a woman, who does woman MY WAY. My genitals give me the right to define what the word “woman” means when it refers to me.

The same thing for everyone. Whatever you are, no matter what kind of oddities you do for your sex, you can still claim that sex. You can also attach that as your gender, without being told off by gender jealous CIS-people. They’ll live. We’ll live.

You do not HAVE TO submit to a gender role

You can call yourself a man or a woman without submitting to gender expectations. Expectations are just that; expectations. They have nothing to do with reality. You may visit a tarot-reader expecting an old lady in a purple scarf and huge gold earrings and instead, find a very ordinary-looking man in a very ordinary home. Expectations are not always met, and they need not to be negatively not met. You have every right to fail gender-based expectations. You have the right to define one more version of whichever gender you’re a member of.

There is nothing wrong with you wearing a dress and calling yourself a man. A fabulous man! There’s nothing wrong with driving a truck and hunting and calling yourself a woman. A badass woman at that. 😀

Differences are the spice of life, weird is wonderful. Stop feeling pressured into cutting your cocks off simply because you love sewing. :p (Deliberate exaggeration of “not an issue”, mind you.)

Nuance

Nuance, nuance, nuance.

Tell people what kind of a man or woman you are. Don’t yield to expectations. You have the right to small nuance. You have the right to be complicated. There will be all these people in this world who won’t have time to figure you out. Let them go be more excited about what’s in the freezer than you. 😉 Complicated individuals are always too much for non-intellectual people to handle, no matter what they are. There are people who want things simple; man and woman meaning a role in life on top of sex. Bah. Those people must learn to cope with complications. You must learn to give them something to be confused about with joy. 😉

Gender identity is a problem only when you believe gender stereotypes are real. Don’t believe in gender stereotypes, and you won’t even know what “male” or “female” means apart from what your genitals look like.

Parents: Never use the phrase: “you’re a boy/girl, so you have to…”

Parents, please don’t load your children with gender roles by pressuring them into accepting a role, dress, or pastime – or friends – based on their sex. This creates BELIEF in gender stereotypes or roles. Don’t forcefully try and make a boy interested in dolls or girls play with cars, either, but let them if they feel interested in something that they shouldn’t.

When growing up, me and my brother played without any gender issues together. I played with cars, cowboys, and Indians just as easily as he played Barbies and stuffed toys with me. Neither one of us was into baby dolls, but he grew up a regular CIS-gendered male, has a wife and 3 children that he loves tending to from all his heart. I don’t have kids, because I’m not that kind of a woman, but love my computers, and games, and fashion, and logical thinking while obsessing with spirituality, romance, and relationships. As fucked up as our mom might have been (I have huge mother issues elsewhere), she never messed with our gender or sexual identity and neither did our soft-spoken calmly masculine car-loving dad.

Give your children the freedom to direct their interest and attention to things that they’re truly interested in, no need to push a square into a round hole, and even less need to force a square into a square hole! They go there quite without force.

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