Guilty pleasures are things that feel so good to you that you feel you don’t deserve to have it. Being focussed on the guilt, however, will make your partner feel unwanted and revolting, or disconnected from, so if you’re going to do it, you might as well feel the pleasure of doing it… Freely.

Imagine eating a delicious piece of chocolate cake. You feel guilty for it and want to keep yourself from touching the calories, the naughty, naughty calories. Your energy sifts your body into tension, you recoil from your treat, you don’t enjoy it half as much, and what is worse, your body shuts down your metabolism. Therefore, the guiltier you get about eating, the more you put on weight.

Similarly, sexual contact can make you recoil from your partner because you feel guilty about what you are doing, and you don’t want them to see how bad you are. Instead of thinking “oh isn’t he/she a good boy/girl” your partner will feel that you don’t like them, or that you don’t want them, or, even worse, that you are disgusted by them in some way. You should, instead of feeling guilty… Try feeling… pleasurably naughty. If you going to allow yourself to do what you are doing anyway, you might as well feel the guilty pleasure, right?

There’s another benefit to this: If you are connected to your pleasure and enjoyment of, say, touching someone before you even know them properly, you will instantly set off their ick alarms IF they are not into you and will never be. Guilt will keep their ick from working, but if you allow yourself to feel the pleasure of the thought of touching them, they will run a mile at sight and you won’t need to waste time on someone who will NEVER let you go anywhere near your true kink if that is how they react to you before you even gotten started. Instead of being trapped into a sexless relationship for the next 7 years, that sex-hating prude is running from you screaming.

Guilty pleasure is something that you feel is so good it’s probably illegal

Our brain is very conditioned to denying ourselves pleasures… All pleasures, really. Good food maybe the only guiltless pleasure we allow ourselves, but only the healthy and “sophisticated” food. Guilt is a sensation that awakens when you feel you are taking or being given something that you do not fully deserve, or that taking it is somehow harmful to someone else; such as your girlfriend. The men who feel the most strongly that they are harming their girlfriend by having sex with her, are the most likely to treat her in the most horrible ways, too, because they lose their respect for women who would allow a man to treat them the way they treat her. To avoid their own guilt, they transfer that emotion to the disrespect of the woman, but it all begins in their own mind thinking that they are doing something awful to this girl. Men with very little sexual hang ups are not likely to disrespect a girl for having had sex with him – after all, why wouldn’t she, why shouldn’t she?

However, for the most men, it shouldn’t be too much of a leap to allow yourself to enjoy what you are doing to the girl. This will also help her enjoy what is being done to her, the amazing connection that happens when you know the other is enjoying every moment with you… and as it just happens that women wound up in the position of being “the victim” it falls onto the men (along with everything else) to unravel this judgement, fear, and guilt… And the guilty pleasures will get naughtier and naughtier as you push the boundaries further, and learn to find pleasure in things you previously didn’t dare to think about without thinking about what your grand mother would say if she knew. (Ewh.)

Enjoy the guilt. Enjoy the permission. Enjoy the slut that lets you do things to her, and respect her for her shameless sluttiness.

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