Hiding from your True Emotion Mirror emotionally causes running

We all probably feel emotionally open when we first think about it, but I challenge you to consider it a little bit further, because I am sure that 99.9% of you are hiding from other people, including your True Emotion Mirror, in at least one or two of the following areas, and the grand majority of you hides in all of these areas at least some of the time:

Hiding your feelings from others:

– Hiding negative feelings about oneself (I am not good enough, and I don’t want you to know I think that way about myself.)

– Hiding negative feelings about others (I don’t like that about you, and I don’t want you to know I think that way about you.)

– Hiding positive feelings about oneself (I love this about myself, but I don’t want you to know it and think I’m self-conceited.)

– Hiding positive feelings about others (I love that about you, but I don’t want you to know because I think you’d get all pompous about it, or you’d use my love to trap me somehow.)

In addition, you are very likely to hide some things from yourself, too:

– Hiding negative feelings about oneself (I know I suck at … but I don’t want to know about it. I’ll pretend it’s OK as I don’t like to admit it to myself…)

– Hiding negative feelings about others (I think that person is a bit of a …. but I know it is wrong / not PC / not open-minded to think that way so I’ll stop myself from thinking a horrible thing like that.)

– Hiding positive feelings about oneself (I lov… th. abt msef… but I should NOT, because it’s self-conceited, vain or simply a wrong thing to love about oneself.)

– Hiding positive feelings about other people (I don’t think I should be the kind of person who loves someone like that, I am better than that. I don’t want to admire that person for that quality, because everyone else already does, and I don’t want to be the cause for further boosting of their already inflated ego.)

It takes a lot of courage to allow others to feel the true feelings that you have inside of you, and it takes courage to even allow YOURSELF to see these things. I personally have spent my entire life hiding nothing about myself from myself, but hiding everything from others and stopping myself from thinking TOO negatively from others. I allowed some negativity, but not nearly all that I was actually feeling. I edited others in my mind to be better than what they were, while scolding myself for being self-conceited and vain… Up to a point, when I realized that it was hurting me too much to keep myself bottled up from myself, but it still took me years – in fact I’m still learning – to allow my emotions flow freely from positive to negative, about myself and others, and allow others to feel that too.

What happened, was that when I edited out people’s negative traits from my mind, I only emitted positive feelings towards them, (if anything at all; leaving them completely free to guess what I was thinking about them, up to their own wild imagination. Not good with a True Emotion Mirror!) When I withheld the negative feelings I was feeling, only allowing positive thoughts to be felt, I made people (casual friends mainly) think I loved them when I didn’t really. When I felt friendly towards someone, they thought I was their best fucking friend, because I didn’t allow negative thoughts through at all. This has given me a crap load of attachments, people who hung onto me KNOWING that I hold back something, but obviously thinking it must be MORE love, not a whole wad of negativity and loathing! So their NEED to get closer to me, to break through to the well of love and appreciation that I must have been hiding from me, they finally did force me to open up only to find out that my feelings for them were not exactly loving and caring but rather  the opposite at times. (Through spiritual work through meditation and spirit contact.)

When I faced one of my True Emotion Mirrors (or True Emotion Mirrors to be theoretically more accurate) I closed up all channels between myself and them. I allowed myself to absorb what they were feeling towards me, but I withheld everything I felt towards them, in the fear of being discovered and then rejected. I also didn’t want to pressure them into loving me by allowing them to see how much I wanted them, but at the same time I removed all possibility from them to know me, to feel who I was. I believe only one of my True Emotion Mirrors , the fully active one, I allowed to see some of my feelings toward him, but none of my feelings toward myself, and he, on the other hand was afraid of acknowledging his feelings toward me to himself for a multitude of reasons that I’m not going to get into now.

With my mother, things were even more messy. She only allowed negative feelings about me through. This was in order to educate, to harden up and to “motivate” me to do better. Of course, the effect was the opposite. She hid all of her own negative emotions from herself, allowing only the feeling of love penetrate her OWN consciousness, while completely blocking out the negativity from herself, and thus being incapable of stopping me from feeling it, because if you are not aware of something yourself, you are also not capable of stopping it from flying out of your control and be felt by the people around you (unless they block them themselves, which I never did in full). Her only being aware of her own love for me, she has felt completely biased towards me, so to balance things out, she’s stopped positive emotions from escaping, and all I could feel was negativity, hate, disappointment, displeasure and seething wrath at times floating around her targeted at me.

Don’t be afraid of letting your True Emotion Mirror in on your thoughts. You don’t have to say anything more, or do anything more, just let them feel how you feel, and don’t hold it back.

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