Honest Relationships (Friendships included)

There are a few ways a person gains a reputation of being snobbish or a bad person or “undeserving” or a number of other negative labels based on how they make friends or treat other people. This is a bit of a trap, to be honest, and I need the M8R10 group to be very aware of this phenomenon. There is always a benefit to having a high-level individual in your personal group of friends, right? Like good luck -talisman. It is beneficial in many ways to befriend someone from the high end, and it’s not necessarily love or appreciation but a bit of abuse, really.

To be fair, it is also somewhat abusive to accept this friendship offer or offer friendship downward, because your motivation is also not to love, but halo polishing. You want to be perceived as a good person, who doesn’t choose people based on their status but based on their character. Still, you may be blinded to the bad character of the lower on the ladder, simply because you have trained yourself to see the good in people first, and yet, you may be aware that you don’t and won’t ever love a person but befriend them anyway… For image purposes.

Two-way abuse

The lower on the ladder may not be as clueless as you think they are. They also may not be stupid. They may be fully aware that you are abusing them for image purposes, and they will make you pay for it. If you try leaving them, they’ll put up a huge show of pain and suffering, how they are hurt and whatnot, and you may be compelled to stay with them, just to avoid causing them pain, which, again, makes you the sucker.

In case the pain and suffering for losing you are real, which it may be, then, you might have wished to never have made that friendship or love connection in the first place and save them that pain. Before befriending anyone, do so only if you believe that if they were sad to see you go, their sadness would be enough to make you stay – just the knowledge you mean something to them.

All the things you can provide

When someone is either a success waiting to happen or already a success, there are things that you can provide to someone less gifted.

You are naturally attractive to the opposite (preferred) gender, so being in your close vicinity when you reject people is beneficial to those of same gender (orientation) as you who lack your charm. To be the shoulder to cry on when you don’t keep more than one boyfriend or girlfriend.

Your praise also means more than what it probably should to people of lower status. When you call someone brave or hard-working, deserving… Even if they weren’t really… You help them build themselves a false ego. That is just about the worst thing you can do for someone.

Being friends with someone of a higher status than you is beneficial to your status in your own circles. You get a push up in your own group of friends if you happen to be friends with someone of a much higher status than yourself.

When you start/are making money, being your friend is obviously beneficial to your friends… Even if they hadn’t met you or kept contact to you in years. The more generous you are, the more beneficial it is to be the one with the biggest needs and the most pathetic story near you.

I don’t want to turn you cynical… Just… Aware

I don’t want to make you cynical. I just want you to be aware that being ugly, dumb, ungifted, or poor doesn’t automatically make a person worth knowing. (It also doesn’t automatically mean they’re not worth knowing, but hell, if they’re all of those things..?!) Don’t let your guilt over your inborn gifts get the better of you – you weren’t born that way by accident. What you are is a result of a lot of work in previous lifetimes, work that other people haven’t bothered doing yet. Some people have focussed honing their skills to abusing other people, manipulation, and taking advantage… Covering their own asses, so to speak.

Rather than being cynical, be streetwise. Don’t let people push you over simply because they don’t know what you know – but know things you don’t. Don’t be stupid.

And yet, having said that, I wouldn’t hesitate to pick a homeless man up from the gutter if I saw him, by instinct, to be “one of mine”, personally speaking. And once I’ve said that I run the risk of being accused of hypocrisy when someone wants to insist to me that I haven’t done that yet… But the chances that one of My Men wind up on the street… Exists.

Keep your eyes open, and your relationships honest

Do not make friends out of pity or for the purpose of halo-polishing. Feeling guilty for one’s success makes people prone to making soul-connections that can be viciously harmful to them.

Just avoid relationships that you KNOW are not truthfully what you want but are made out of guilt, obligation, cultural habit, or politeness.

Also, never underestimate the power of a good sob-story being used against you. Would you be happy to know that when someone complained to you they had no shoes, they meant they couldn’t afford Manolo Blahniks?

Some people take friendship as an unbreakable bond

There are people who want to guilt you into never breaking a friendship once it’s created – no matter what the reason, no matter what happened during the friendship or relationship. There are people who consider friendship to be a stronger bond than a marriage, and that two friends owe everything to one another – or rather, the one more gifted and lucky owes everything they’ve got to the less fortunate… Or maybe not everything but a good 10 percent and a good marriage arrangement.

Keep this in mind when you are making friends – particularly when you are still at school or rising in ranks. Do not take favors from the lower-on-the-ladder when you are down on your luck because those favors will cost you dearly in the end… At least not without a good legal contract.

Beware of people who are buying love at this stage. Give you money, expect love in return – not an interest.

Take care of people at your own (spiritual/intellectual) level

Having said that, be as lavish a friend as you want to those who you truly see worthy of it. Go out of your way for those people who give as you give, and who fall at times. Keep your true friends up so that the vultures can’t get to them. And trust me, this will, in the end, benefit those on the ground, so to speak, because good people are never selfish – but they are sometimes just plain stupid. 😉 Make sure you know the difference.

Don’t turn callous, just turn streetwise.

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