How and when to let go and move on from love or a goal

I always guide my readers to start any process of letting go by contemplating a variation of this sentence:

Are you able to accept the theoretical possibility that you cannot have what you want because it wasn’t meant for you?

When you are in the emotion of “OK, it is possible this/it/he/she isn’t for me, let’s study the situation closer”, we are ready to examine your situation in a realistic light.

Holding onto something is sometimes a counter reaction to truly wanting to let go. Guilt and feeling of responsibility can force you to holding onto something that you long wanted to let go already because it is getting in the way of what you truly want but are afraid of admitting to want. You may also be holding onto things because you feel you have already put so much effort into it that you simply need to keep working at it, so it will be “worth something” in the end. Essentially, whenever you are holding onto something that you want to keep is trying to force them or it to be something that it isn’t and you want to twist it into shape whether it is what you want it to be or not.

To illustrate the point, imagine someone has given you instructions to their house. They tell you to drive the blue house on the left and take a left turn, then, you should see a big rock, a tree and a bridge. You took a turn at a house that looked blue to you to begin with, but you can’t see a rock, a tree nor a bridge no matter how far you drive that road. Now… How quickly will you understand that you are on the wrong road and turn back when it is a physical reality? Pretty quick, I’d take it. Many would probably drive further than what they’d normally do because blue houses of any shade are rather rare and you are quite sure that there can’t be two blue houses that close to each other to make it confusing. Eventually, you accept that this is not the road, you let go of the road and start looking for the right blue house. When you see it, it is inarguably blue, so obviously blue, that it makes the house you turned left for the first time seem obviously grey.

So. Depending on how much noise you’ve made about being on the right road, you’d be more insistent on not turning back because you would be too embarrassed to admit this wasn’t the road at all. If you take pride in being a great navigator, you might drive miles further than what you should, blame your sat nav, and the kids in the back for having distracted you before you admit that you took the wrong turn at the bluish house.

And at the same time, you wouldn’t make yourself believe you went over a bridge if you didn’t. You saw a big rock and you saw a tree or a few on the way, but the bridge, that is just not there. Of course, the rocks you saw weren’t big enough to be true landmarks, nor was there anything spectacular about the tree, but you kept going because you decided to take those signs for real signs supporting your decision to keep driving down the road.

So, are you trying to force the road into being the one you were looking for? If you thought it might work, you might, but just like in your situation we are describing with this metaphor, the road cannot change into the one you were looking for no matter how much you’d expect it to.

Signs the life path you travel is a wrong one

1. You are not happy: People who are on the right path are angry only about not being able to travel faster. They are not angry about being forced to be on this road.
2. You feel a constant need to dragging people down the road with you and stop them from continuing on their own path. This means you need to convince others to think your way and to follow you, rather than try to convince them to let you continue on, regardless of what they choose to do.
3. You interpret signs the way you want to see them, not as they appear to you. The house is light grey, but you want to see it as blue, and you convince yourself it was blue, there was a rock and there was a tree… You might be seeing the number 2020 repeated, but you wanted to see 1111. You insist it is the same thing.
4. Right path: Logically you know it is crazy to keep going, but you do it because you know you want to get to your destination, and you know that even if you gave up now, you would have to return to it later because you MUST (by your own internal need) get where you are going. Wrong path: You feel a responsibility, a MUST (someone else tells you) to do it, but you don’t really want to if you can avoid it.

Awakening to the possibility of being wrong

It might be just one thing someone said that snaps you out of it. After that moment, it is quite easy to make a decision on quitting, but before that happens, there is an internal fight to go through. After trying so hard for so long, you will want to keep going just because you feel you’ve wasted so much time already that you don’t want to throw it all away. It takes time to accept that wasting even more time driving down the wrong road won’t take you there but further from your true goal. You will have to turn back and get back to the point where you started off on your wrong path, but as law of attraction would have it, it is unlikely you have gone too far off your authentic path, because for as long you are on the wrong path, you will subconsciously self-sabotage to make sure you don’t get off too far off your authentic goals. (That is where my analogy fails. 🙂 ) The correct path is simply a matter of returning to the moment in your life when you were still full of hope and lust for life, and you know you are in the right road. Return back to that moment now, when was the last time you felt excited about your future? What did you want to see happen?

This is the time to play what if, should have, could have, would have. 🙂 This is the time to do it. What should you have done, could you have done, would have done if you had had the chance? Don’t worry if it seems too late, it isn’t. There’s always time, if not in this life, your next life will be wide open for you to do whatever it is that you missed out on in this lifetime, and being aware of what it is you wanted will create a life setting for you that will make this life possible… in your next life. It will right the wrongs, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to be wide awake and be ready to take on the life you always wanted, if not now, then, in your next life. (I use this trick because it worked for me: I didn’t think change was possible for me in this lifetime, but I figured, well, there’s always the next, and I freed myself to think without the pressures of what I was expected to be or do or to think and with whom, and by creating the perfect plan for my next life I started to see how it could happen in this life. In fact, it took God to ask me something, when me and my soulmates were riding high on a perfect life wave in our imagination, he asked us one question: “Why not now?” Indeed, why not? Because… We’re too old. We claimed. It is still all too easy to fall into the thinking that we are too old, but then, who knows, we might be the first people in history to discover immortality and it would be stupid not to try our hardest to make what we want a reality. 😉 )

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