How do you know genuine admiration from a deliberate ego-trapping?

I have a personal fear of what I call an ego-trap. It used to be quite a popular high school bully strategy, but also a very educational one. It is when you tell a person pretty lies and promises only to trap them from having an unrealistically positive ego and self-image.

I doubt that the bully victim is ever quite without flaw. For this prank to be interesting, they have to be unrealistic about their own worth, a little gullible, and more than eager to ignore reality in the benefit of seeing themselves in a positive light.

The way this would go is to tell an ego-filled girl that the hottest guy in the school is in love with them or vice versa… Sit back… And wait for the carnage.

Absolutely hilarious.

Obviously, it also works on less ego-filled people, but as far as moral superiority goes, I do believe it has to be played on someone who actually deserves it rather than someone who you need to take down a peg for the sake of it, not to teach them an honest lesson.

I am quite certain that I have played this prank on unsuspecting people on more than one occasion in my past lives, often enough for it to become a fear that one day, I’ll be at the receiving end of it. The more happy with myself I am, the more I fear it is merely blindness to my own flaws and realistic status, and I have developed quite the 6th instinct to keep myself in check in terms of pretty lies I might tell myself about myself – the false ego.

Steps to self-check

1. Are you looking for some mysterious reason why this person might have fallen in love with you, maybe thinking they’re a Twin Flame? Maybe they’re a secret fetishist for something you are? Maybe they see some magic in you that others don’t. BIG RED FLAG. True love isn’t mysterious. Not THAT mysterious.
2. Realistically, have you displayed a tendency of self-elevating yourself to a status where you DO NOT BELONG, ignoring obvious status markers and deciding that you’re above them somehow?
3. Do you think you have lost sight of your own place on the status ladder and trying to pass for something you’re not?
4. “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12, NIV) Do you understand the meaning of that quote? If that’s the only quote you remember from the Bible, remember it. (Don’t take pride in your humility, however, that’ll make you a Zestpoolian.)

Genuine admiration.

Genuine admiration comes with happiness. People feel happiness and joy around people who they genuinely admire or like. They smile, they laugh, they ARE happy about you being there, being you.

Sometimes a serious tone is used to lift you up, but if you are down, the admiration is possibly not quite genuine but is offered as a form of first aid. It maybe genuine, but still, if that person has never laughed in the tone of taking delight of the fact you exist, they are unlikely to truly admire you. That said, their words are encouragement, and they want to lift you back on your legs so you will be strong enough to walk long enough to find someone who truly loves the manner of which you exist. The way you man your atoms. 😉

Finding people who you genuinely like and admire, EVEN ON VIDEO, feels exquisitely wonderful. It makes you laugh in happiness. Sometimes we can laugh and feel delight of a person’s quirkiness even if it’s not admiration, but genuine admiration feels joyful.

Genuine admiration can sometimes take a shy form, too. People feel scared to speak to those they admire and want. This also applies to people who are equally talented to you – because they admire talent, and they have thus put in effort to HAVE talent – so talented people may both admire each other more than anyone else, and fear not being enough more than anyone else. People want to be what they admire, therefore, the more similar you are, the more they admire you for being what they admire – potentially, from their perspective – better than they can be.

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