How do you know you’re truly in love.

If you haven’t experienced this, you’ll think I’ve gone crazy. I would have said the same not that long ago. You know you’re in love (even platonically) when you feel that stuff you’d normally never do to a partner or a friend is somewhat funny. Things that are downright abusive now just feel sexy or hilarious or both. You feel amused by the idea of abusing your partner, and more to the point, being abused by them.

You’ll feel interested in being cheated on. You don’t fear losing your partner; you feel titillated about the idea that they’re testing you this way or that they’re tugging at their leash while they have nowhere to go. There’s an amusement in a feeling that would normally be an absolute deal breaker and end of it all to you.

Here’s the problem: They may not feel the same way.

There’s a serious issue with this feeling, however. It is no guarantee that they are your True Emotion Mirror (or Precious Soulmate), and they may not be at all as excited about the idea of you abusing them or them abusing you. Even your actual True Emotion Mirror may not be quite on the same page as you, especially if they have insecurities that you’re not counting on. If they are not 100% certain about your feelings, for instance, they may not feel quite as comfortable with your “playing” around on them.

These insecurities may come from a lot of places, such as being bullied as a kid, having a bad relationship with parents, or just having a toxic relationship in the past.

In addition, they may not be your True Emotion Mirror or Precious Soulmate at all, but you just wish they were.

A level of caution is needed.

However, too much caution will be just as bad as no caution at all (I’m sorry, that’s how it is, I’m just telling you it is, I don’t make the rules) it’s a good idea to observe their reaction a little bit if you are deliberately toying with them. You don’t have to ask them for a permission per se, but a certain observance as to they are taking your play the way you intend it is in order. Are they following you?

They may not be playing hardball the way you think they are. They may actually be suffering. (I know this from a personal experience by multiple people who do not believe I could possibly have insecurities of any kind. When everybody treats you as a free-for-all punching bag, you kinda start doubting your own lovability, you know? The likelihood that you explain things as “everybody is in love with me” is highly unlikely unless you’re a bleeding narcissist.) Sorry to ruin your fun.

The point being, is that you know you do things you’d never do with someone else with the people you are truly in love with. It’s normal, but also… They may not always be on the same page with you.

What you interpret as “play” may not be.

I know I’ve said this a million times and will say it one more time. When you “play” with a supposed True Emotion Mirror or a Precious Soulmate, they may not be. You may think they’re loading a canon with similar balls, but where your balls are soft rubber, they maybe loading pure iron – it’s just that if you believe them to be soft rubber, that’s how they’ll land. So you may think they rejected you “as a play” or “a dare” or whatever, but they actually meant it…

I am sorry, but that’s how it is. So… Caution, caution, caution.

The leash test.

If you think they’re playing, they’ll come back for more. If you doubt whether they’re playing with you or not, have a fiery argument, and then wait. If they’re not coming back to you, they were serious or not as much in love with you as you hoped. If you want them back, you need to apologize and hope that they haven’t burned their bridges yet. I suggest you do a leash test before they burn the bridges to you completely.

If they don’t really want you, they’re not coming after you.

Note that THIS doesn’t work if you never truly had a relationship to begin with.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message