How much crap do you put up with in your fear of embarrasment?

Don’t assume I am above the fear of embarrassment. Far from it. I have my issues. But it is healthy to notice how everything we are afraid of is about the fear of embarrassment. It is not the fear of failure that stops us, it’s the embarrassment of the failure and you getting caught of thinking you had it in you in the first place. It’s not the fear of getting divorced, it’s the fear of embarrassment of that divorce, how now that person no longer looks after you and you failed to keep them married to you. (Idiot.) It’s not that you fear stupidity, you fear the embarrassment of stupidity. It’s not that you fear being told that he or she doesn’t love you like you love them, it’s the embarrassment of having thought they might… and so forth, so forth.

The amount of crap you put up with to avoid embarrassment is a mountain worth. I am no exception, I keep repeating.

Then again, there are people who seem quite immune to embarrassment, and frankly, you don’t want to be one of them. You NEED TO have a certain disdain toward embarrassment or else you wind up a Cestpoolian with no standards for yourself. (I visited the spiritual opposite of Nirvana once, I called it Hyi Vittu, which is Finnish for a very vulgar ewww; eww cunt, if you will, the first thought that popped into my head. The residents of Hyi Vittu I called Cestpoolians, people who had lost all ability to feel embarrassed or ashamed of themselves. NOT a pretty sight.) The fear of embarrassment is functional and important, but it pays to be mindful of WHAT it worth feeling embarrassed about and what isn’t.

When someone cracks your ego, you’ll feel embarrassed; if your idea of yourself is higher than what is realistic, and someone points that out to you, you’ll feel embarrassed. That’s why a lot of people have a false modest ego, just to be on the safe side. It’s nicer to have people talk you up than tell you that you’re full of shit and worth about half as what you think you are. But… Is it worth being so scared of being called out on having an ego that you hide in the corners while working on your perfection?

Having said that, having a good, realistic ego is a point of strength. When you work at it, remind yourself that if someone else points out a negative about you that you didn’t realize was there, it’s going to be fucking embarrassing. (I love to swear, people.) Own the things you love to do, be, and need to be in order to be happy… Romantic perverts, unite. Don’t let fear of embarrassment get in the way of what is important: your love life, your sex life, and your relationships. And yet, you and I both know you do, all the time, repeatedly. And I do, too.

Working on it.

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