How much to tell your kids about sex and romance?

Dog Type Thinking children need to know the practicalities of sexual relationships. They want to know how they’re conducted, how to get into one, and what is expected of them in a relationship like that. Please teach them to respect other people’s relationship needs by not pursuing relationships with people whose needs they cannot understand. Teach them not to try and be enough for someone who they find to be difficult to understand.

The Cat Type Thinking children are a little more complicated. They worry about their parent’s relationships but pretty much know how to handle their own. They’re old souls. Therefore, they need to know that you’re good with each other as their parents. They don’t need you to stay married for the sake of staying married – that’s Dog Type Thinking children who need that – but the Old Souls* need to know their parents are happy. They may also have a favorite parent, and it is important to them that this parent is happy – even at the expense of the other. Also, don’t assume their favorite parent is their mother, as they choose their favorite parent by their character traits, their value system, not by their gender.

It is not wise to completely shield your children from sexuality, especially as they get older.

By 16, your daughter needs to know how to decline sexual offers. Make no mistake in this. They need to know they have permission to say no, and they have permission to say yes in some juridical districts. Make sure you teach your children that nobody and I mean NOBODY gets to tell them they NEED to have sex with them, not their boyfriend or girlfriend, not the trans kid, not the gays or lesbians, not the disabled kids. Also, not their teachers etc. Nobody, absolutely NOBODY can tell them TO have sex…

And similarly, by 18, nobody can tell your Cat Type Thinking kids NOT TO have sex with the people who they want to have sex with… And that includes you, mom & dad. (If I’d been having sex with the boys my mom would have picked me, I would have been sexually abused from day one, as they weren’t my type…. Par one or two of her favorites. But luckily she was not domineering in that regard even if she had clear favorites.) Remember that your Cat Type Thinking kids do not fuck for you. Your Dog Type Thinking kids do.

Your Dog Type Thinking children will choose their partner by your guidance. If you don’t give them any, they’ll try to demonstrate the lack of guidance by picking the worst ideas ever… And these are blind drunk, drug-dealing, and taking types, designed to freak you out and show some resolve. Don’t confuse this with a Cat Type Thinking child who sees people beyond their social status, and judges them by their character, not by their behavior or addictions.

What your child needs from you in terms of sexual education

Cat Type Thinking children will make their own decisions most of the time anyway unless heavily handled. Don’t handle them heavily, as they will rebel and cut you out of their lives completely if they have to protect their freedom from you. That said, they want to know you are happy. That’s all. And they need to know they have permission to make their own decisions and those decisions will be supported and respected by their parents.

Dog Type Children will need to know the family unit is strong. They need to see a model of behavior in a sexual relationship, which in Dog Type Thinking world is quite structured and laced with tradition and habits. Cat Type Thinking parents will find this very difficult to model, but you do what you can. And mind you, you can’t teach Young Souls* by talking. They need to see a modeled behavior.

Old Souls* need a role model, too, but in a different sense. They already know who they are (even sexually) but they need someone to OK it. It doesn’t have to be their parent, they just want to know their parents are happy, and that their parents will not freak out if they see the Old Soul* fall in love in their time. To a Old Soul*, it’s important to have the right to live authentically to their sexuality. They simply need their parents to be OK with that. Old Souls* feel the need to “come out” for example, while a Young Soul* does not. Young Souls* ARE NOT born with a sexual identity, their parents create it. This is why so many children are now LGBTQ+ if their parents are. Don’t EVER forget this: Young Souls* fuck for their parent’s approval and love, not for themselves. They do what they believe their parents would want them to do. Old Souls* may try to force their parents to see their “ugly side” to force them to look and go away, but the same behavior in Dog Type Thinking children is the opposite: “Mom, dad, look I don’t know what you want of me, I know it’s not this, so please inform.”

If your children shove their sexuality in your face

If your children seem to act BLATANTLY DISRESPECTFULLY toward you and demonstrate their sexuality to you in a very direct manner, the meaning of this behavior depends on the child’s thinker type. (I repeat this because this is important.)

Old Soul*: Go away. See, you don’t approve of me, this is how far from the child you wanted I am. Go away and leave me alone. I am what I am, tough luck, bitch/dick. They’ll calm down once you go away – anger-wise, that is. Their behavior might get wilder still now that they are free to be who they are. (If they say “go away” it means “go away, I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. Stop hovering.”)

Young Soul*: Look, mom, dad, I don’t know what I’m doing. I know this is not the way you want me to be, please tell me what to do and what to be! Tell me I’m not gay/whatever, I don’t want to be gay/whatever, but people treat me this way… (If they say “go away” it means: “go away then and abandon me if you really don’t give a fuck about me, then, I’ll just go join a squat house and start sucking dick for crack… But it’s not like you’d give a fuck like I wish you did.”)

Young Souls* can get really self-destructive if they feel their parents don’t care. Old Souls* may have some similarities to it for whatever reason, but they have breaks. They are not going to harm themselves just to bitch about their parents, but their authentic way to live is so wild sometimes that the Dog Type Thinking parent will interpret it as a (weak/fearful) cry for attention.

How much to expose?

Both types of children need BASIC sex ed; where do children come from, how to prevent it, (and if it’s legal or not,) and what needs to happen for pregnancy to start. I don’t know if it’s necessary to tell them the mechanics of sex, as long as you basically tell them “You’ll figure it out and have fun doing so.” It maybe more necessary for boys to know what to do, they’ll appreciate knowing a little more than girls need to, but you know…

What feels natural is mostly the right amount. What feels like a sexual fetish exposed to your horrified, scared child is obviously not good. Then again, a parent who wants to do that won’t be reading a blog like mine, so there’s really no point in elaborating.

Err on the side of caution; if you don’t know where the appropriate line is, keep to the ‘expose less’ end of things. Also, you need to be comfortable about what you expose your children to, and never expose more than you’re comfortable with.

Having said that, it is comforting for a child, particularly a Cat Type Thinking child, to know their parents HAVE a sex life. Even if it means that they’re going to grandparents for a weekend so mommy and daddy can have a little alone time, it’s enough information. It’ll be important once they figure out what that meant.

Don’t hide EVERY SIGN of a sexual or romantic relationship if you have one. Your children benefit from a healthy model of a romantic and sexual relationship, but they don’t need to know the intimate details of it, obviously, considering they are INTIMATE details – something between you and your co-parent. That said, they can fill in the blanks, right? It’s just nice to know how the public side of a romantic relationship works – the stuff you’d share with your friends – at least once the kid is old enough to have a genuine interest in your sex life and ASKS to know.

“The Talk”

Your Cat Type Thinking children will figure it out. You don’t need to tell them a thing, they’ll Google it by 12.5 of age. By 13, they know more about sex than their Dog Type Thinking parent does, not in practise, but their theoretical knowledge will pick up fast out of genuine curiosity toward the topic (unless they’re philosophically NOT going to go there, but they’ve made that decision by 13).

You Young Souls* need the talk, however. They need to know exactly what is expected of them as a sexual being by their parents. It would be a good idea NOT TO tell them everything at once. Trickle feed the information as per birthday party maybe. “This year…” A Young Soul* matures by their parent’s tempo. You give them a permission to move to the next stage. Keep an eye on their development and then inform them when you feel they are mature enough.

But let your Old Souls* make their own calls – you may want to inform them of the fact tho and ask them if they feel the need to ask you anything. If they say no, you tell them if they ever need to know something, you’re there, but if not, “you do you.” Cat Type Thinking children are easy to raise: you just leave them to it… But they will freak you the f*** out tho. Easy but scary.

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