How people who do not love (anyone) try to teach you how to love (them)

To understand how a person who doesn’t truly love anyone operates, let me give you a metaphor.

Imagine a child observing an adult start a car. They see them get into the driver’s seat and turn the ignition key. The car starts into a hum, and the adult drives away smooth and happy about their freedom. The child wants to drive a car, too.

They get into the driver’s seat of a car with unattended keys. They turn the keys, the car jumps ahead and stalls. They try again, the result is the same, but rather than think they’re doing something wrong, they decide there’s something wrong with the car, someone is doing something wrong by them, and the car is not letting them drive it. OK this is where the metaphor starts to break apart.

The point being; a young soul observes an old soul fall in love, tend to their loved one’s needs, praise them every twist and turn, and devote their lives to that person. What they can’t see, is that there was a bit more to that chain of events than a boy meets a girl, and magic follows.

People who have FELT love assume everyone has

Many child souls equate desire, lust, neediness, or sense of ownership as “love”. When they say “I love you”, you could easily change the verb “love” to “own” and you’d get close. You might also be able to change the phrase “I want you”, to “I own you”, as in, “I want you, therefore I own you, therefore I love you, therefore you owe me love back.” In THAT sentence, “love” actually means what it is, as they have experienced RECEIVING love many times, but not necessarily FEELING love at all.

The child soul also feels that love is a direct transaction or something along the lines of: “Look, I stroke your hair. Now you know how to do it, now, you keep doing it to me endlessly because I like it.” The child soul RARELY if ever stops to wonder WHY someone would spend the rest of their lives fulfilling their needs the way they know their parents did.

A child’s soul also easily equates all love as the same thing as mothers love to their child, and they always want to be the child in that equation, because the one who loves is better than them, right? Therefore, if they see someone who is their superior (someone wealthy, good looking, smart, self-confident) their mind associates it to “a mom” or “a dad”, whose greatest joy in life should be to show them love.

When that doesn’t happen, they regard that person to be “broken” or in need of a lesson on “how to” love.

Awakening love (Starting a car)

People who know how love works, know that there are certain triggers you must give others in order to make them “start” for you. You groom yourself, you behave in a charming way, you treat others with respect, and you develop a personality worth loving. You learn to flirt, you learn to create images of a life with you in the mind of the other person, you become an object of fantasy, really – but a fantasy that could be real. You CREATE something to be achieved with you, and often, you regulate who you give that fantasy to; who do you allow to see you in that light; awakening their love for you.

Celebrities are often masters of creating this fantasy in their fans – although a big chunk of it is a result of the most shallow of the prep work: grooming and style. Often fans create their own fantasy in their minds – some even while being perfectly aware that they are doing just that… Often, not.

Still, the point being, people who do know how love works, when it’s beyond parental love, know that it awakens through somewhat predictable actions, and no matter how much we’d like to think love is somehow… Hmmm.. Magical, and it is, don’t get me wrong, it is, but when broken down into actions, people who know how to do it, do it consciously – and the masters of it pretend they don’t. Just imagine Johnny Depp’s coy boyish smile… That babe trap didn’t happen by accident, but boy does he make a good impression it did. 😉 And tell you the truth, the masters of seduction do appreciate another master. Because we know it isn’t an accident, nor is it easy. The display of accidentally hot modest sexy is truly just humorous flirtation designed to make whoever is the object of it feel amazing to be near you.

Unconditional love

Child souls want love to be unconditional. They expect to be loved even covered in shit, both figuratively and literally speaking in some cases. This makes them rather unthankful company. The more they trust you, the more they let their behavior cut lose – they feel like they must behave among people who will likely punish them for their actions – but what sane adult punishes an adult for bad behavior in any other way except by divorcing them?

This makes child souls a certain divorcee. Not to say old souls don’t divorce, after all they marry child souls more often than is fun to admit, (child souls can truly seem needy and put pressure on others to do so). Still, nobody wants to be tied to a child-adult for life, for they complain (cry), they express needs, demand attention, and argue with you to test your love and devotion to them as a child would. Nothing great to be around, thus.

They also assume that if you lose your temper, you’re doing the same; testing THEIR love, and, also, treating THEM as your SUPERIOR.

Obstinate child and adult animals

When you refuse to love them, they feel like you are the defiant child who refuses to eat their oatmeal. They feel rejection isn’t really a plausible thing to happen, but rather an obstinate child looking for attention. They feel that when you go into a melt-down, that’s a cry for attention and cuddles, rather than an adult animal chasing another adult animal off their turf. (In nature, what would result in this situation, is that the adult animal kills and more than likely eats the obstinate intruder, they’ll be sent back to the reincarnational cycle learning to grow up. But in human societies, they’ll be left in the state of infancy by locks, keys, and restraining orders, until their body’s old age takes care of the next round of lessons.)

The institution of marriage is the same thing as a child attempting to secure a right to start the car for as long as it takes for them to start the car for. “My car”. Old soul lovers truly don’t need marriage in that same sense, even though the sense of belonging often requires words like husband and wife to convey the emotion of how it feels; complete, one, together; your problems are my problems, my problems are yours. That kinda thing.

But how could we teach the child souls how to become adults without killing them to send them back into physical infancy is another question. I’m sure there are some options. 😉

One thing is for sure, we have to insist that child souls only marry other child souls. They are physically capable but emotionally insecure and volatile. It may be necessary to create structured societies, where they don’t HAVE TO try and live an “adult life” that to them is far too early and far too scary and confusing.

Teaching you how to love

A child soul seems like a school teacher with a book when they tell you how love works. It’s filled with obligations, rules, and regulations. Shoulds, should not’s, have to’s. YOU must.

Joy, fulfillment, pleasure, wants, desires, these are never the right of the old soul, and are a motivation ONLY in the child souls’ end. If they are a factor, they are mentioned as “you must want/desire me” that is your duty as my chosen one.

All guilt-tripping on how you SHOULD feel in a relationship or toward a certain type of person is a child-soul attitude. Or telling you NOT TO love that kind of a person or that kind of a person because they, to a child souls rule book living haven’t fulfilled the by-the-book definition of a great husband or a child.

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