How saying one nice thing to someone can bond you to them for a small eternity

I wouldn’t want to say this… Saying nice things to people may mean way more to them than what you anticipated. It is a terrible tragedy, that indeed, people withhold their compliments and their positive feedback and nice things to say to such an extent, that perfectly nice, deserving people never get to hear that their virtues have not gone unnoticed. I don’t know whether to tell you to not say nice things to others if you don’t mean to make lifetimes long connections to them, or to learn to say nice things as often as you can and remind others to do the same so that being nice wouldn’t necessarily mean Best Friends Forever! But. Being nice should be a group effort and culture, it is too dangerous thing to take part in as an individual.

Why being nice is dangerous

Imagine there’s only been like one or two, three people who have said something nice to or about you in your life. Then, one admired person, like a (local) celebrity happens by you and says something nice to you. You feel like you’ve finally found the place you belong in! It would mean something! Now you finally know why everyone was mean to you – they were JEALOUS, because THAT PERSON loves you!

And then that person would be like “hey, no, don’t get all attached, because hell, I’ve got friends all over the place and I don’t have time for you…” 😀 Oh god.

I’ve made that mistake to be nice too many times

I’m one of those people who doesn’t even think about it when I say something nice to people. I mean it, but I don’t mean it as “oh I want to be friends forever because you’re super nice!” No, I mean… There are NICE PEOPLE ALL OVER the place. The world is FULL of nice people. And I know people don’t hear it enough, hell… Well, I do hear it a bit, but still, I feel that for everything that I deserve to be complimented on, I get complimented like 0.o1% of the time, seriously. 😀 I know that people like David Bowie and Prince or Whitney Houston went to their graves thinking they were only appreciated by half-wit fans who didn’t know much about music, probably, because besides the over-gushing award shows, who would tell them, in all sincerity, that “damned that was good!”

People to whom compliments would mean the most also compliment a lot – but they also EXPECT those compliments to hit home a lot more than they do. So, if a person who has heard it once or twice feels like the heavens opened, they will try to FLATTER THE FUCK out of a celebrity, thinking it will have the same impact… When, obviously, it does not.

On top of your career, you’ll start hearing compliments that are not even aimed at you, per se.

Then, it doesn’t mean that much anymore. Sometimes complimenting another person becomes a self-appraisal in disguise: “I am superior to you, I give you a compliment because I am the superior”. When you sense that a compliment is really a put-down or sucking up to gain points from those who are listening, you’ll throw up a bit into your mouth.

It becomes a virtue-signaling exercise: “I am such an art-lover or a smartypants, that everyone should admire me for my ability to admire you!” (Oh god do you know that woman in Actors’ Studio? The perfect example. She’s sitting there with one of your favorite actors and all you want is to fucken HURL. Or Oprah Winfrey: “My guests are important, but none of them is as important as I am.”) “I know to appreciate all the greats. Thinking to themselves: “Have I ever heard of Chuck Berry? Yes. I think I have. He’s that boogy-woogy-guy, yes?” Out loud: “I’m such a fan, such  a great, great fan, you are awesome, Chucky-boy!” Just to make sure everyone around them knows that he’s all DOWN with Chuck Berry!

So there are people who are drowning in compliments and feel a lack of appreciation, attention, and understanding… Because most of the stuff you hear is fake, and the real stuff is kept under wraps because: “I don’t want to be yet another blah blah telling you how great you are.” But when everyone is trying to tell you “you’re shit” just to get your attention… “to be different”… You start wondering if they actually mean it.

OMG Justin Bieber is nice… TO ME, personally. To me. Out of all of those pretty girls, he PICKED ME!

And what about the fan? Maybe they’ll meet Justin Bieber and for the first time someone says a nice thing to them, they think Justin must be in love with them and BOOWAH, he’s got another eternal soul bond to deal with. Going to a meet and greet thinking Bieber is probably really snotty and self-centered, and then you find a nice young man who gives compliments wherever he can fit one in, and the girls are gushing at how he was nice and wowsiesies.

Also, celebrities tend to show attention to that very girl/guy who looks like they’ve never had any interest from the opposite gender in their lives. They know the gossip papers won’t read too much into it, the other, actually… ehrm fuckable fans won’t be offended or put off, or take it seriously, so they target the weakest runt of the litter and give them attention. They flirt or maybe kiss them or whatnot…

And now they think the celebrity is their True Emotion Mirror. BONEFIED.

the Idealists* tend to compliment you a lot

Ancient souls tend to be that way. The Idealists*. They give genuine, well-thought-out compliments left, right, and center, because that’s what they are like… And then suffer the consequences of the Survivalist* thinking that if you compliment them on their ears, you mean everything from their snout to tail.

The Idealists*’ compliments are real, by the way, they’re not fake or pretend, it’s just that… They mean EXACTLY what they say, nothing less… And certainly NOTHING MORE. If they compliment you on your dress or your eyes, you know you have very little going for you.

Everyone deserves a compliment or two. There’s something beautiful in everyone in this world, and there are people who are really good at pointing those things out. Some are good at it because they feel that if they’d focus on people’s flaws, they’d drown in misery. Some people we like more than others, but then, kindness is one of those character traits that a lot of people appreciate to the point where they cannot even believe kind people exist, and… A bond is ready. And the most heartbreaking part of it is this… Sometimes you have to be brutal to undo the bond that one single nice thing created. And that sucks monkey’s balls.

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