How to Avoid Drama. Why people love drama?

Drama is all about high emotions, right?

Wrong.

It is the AVOIDANCE of real emotions, high or otherwise. It is the fear of seeing oneself for real, the fear of seeing what is ACTUALLY happening.

Drama is pulling wools over one’s own eyes, it is pretending that all of this is fantastic or romantic, so dramatic, when, in reality, it is AWFUL, sometimes abusive, and always fucked up.

A drama queen approaches an emotion

I’ve seen this happen a lot in a former friend of mine who is nothing but a real drama queen. She approaches a state in which she’s going to feel a real emotion. Instead of feeling it, she avoids it as if she would get out of the way of an approaching truck. She turns it into a drama so she wouldn’t need to face the real emotion.

“Oh I am so assshhaaaamed! This is sooooooo embarrassing! OMG!!!” When facing the true emotion, (in this case,) deep embarrassment would be well… Too much to handle. She would have to face whatever situation or deed caused this. Instead, she feels pleasure in the drama, while avoiding the emotion itself.

The Continual Drama

Someone who would have to face some real issues in their lives is often making a huge deal out of everything in order to avoid the issues. They know nobody loves them, but they pretend as though everyone does, dramatically making everything about themselves. Deep down they know what the truth is, but they’re not going to go there. They know that whatever they are avoiding will KILL THEM.

When I say it’ll kill them, I mean it’ll kill their ego; the story they are telling themselves about themselves. “I am beautiful, loved, dramatic, fantastic, I am great, amazing, together, strong!” All of that is rubbish. They know they are an empty eggshell held together by duct tape.

Hurt one too many times

This is the shitty part. Everyone deserves love, but nobody owes anyone love. This means that no matter how much you play, you might wind up hurt and hurt and hurt again, simply by your own very doing. You may go seeking love in all the wrong people. A lot of people lower their bar when they are too afraid to approach the ones they truly want. Some people reach higher than what they are in order to avoid admitting they are what they are.

But the drama queen has put their full innocent faith and trust in a person who was never going to be theirs. They’ve trusted someone way out of their league. Most likely, they believed this person to be theirs forever, and they’ve found that didn’t happen. This person tried to cast them out, but instead of accepting the future drama queen has been cast out, they make drama out of it and everything else following to avoid the feeling of abandonment.

“Everything is fine, fabulous!”

They may even avoid blaming the person for abandoning them. They may think that if they accuse that person for abandoning them, they’d have to acknowledge two things: They’ve been abandoned, and two… They were too naive to realize that a person like that wouldn’t love them.

So they put on a fabulous brave face and pretend everything is fine. Everything is still fine, the person who hurt them didn’t mean it, they were simply under the influence of other, bad, close-minded, elitist people, who don’t understand this love and will snap out of it. They will simply have to endure for long enough to make them see the light.

But they, themselves are refusing to see the truth.

That person is gone, and there isn’t anything wrong with them, they simply didn’t love the drama queen.

Facing realities

When you’ve created your entire self-image around the love or companionship of another person, it’s difficult to near impossible to face the fact it was a fantasy from day one. It is difficult to understand why people would do such a thing to another person. The truth is, however, that highly sought after people know they are required to be friendly to other people. They are coerced and coaxed, to the point of guilting and moralizing, to give people (they don’t immediately like) a chance.

The highly sought after, popular people are told to not judge a book by its cover. To not hold prejudice against people. So they do just that and allow someone in who they’d instinctively otherwise reject. This person feels flattered and super lucky and as if touched by God. In reality, this popular person is being friendly, charitable, even, TRYING TO BE A GOOD PERSON. They do not think of it as “oh I am going to break your heart and then I’ll laugh laugh laugh!” They are thinking: “that person is alone, and I could probably be a friend to that person until they find someone more like them into their lives.”

But… This person latches on, mistakes friendliness with friendship, care for love, and “hanging out” with “best friends forever”. The Enigma wants to break free. The would be a drama queen (chaser) doesn’t want to let them go. They don’t want to live in a reality where this unusual, out-of-this-world friendship or love was, after all, only charity.

Avoid being a fake friend

It is important for you to know when you are… ‘dumpster diving’. You must become more aware of your true status without letting it go into your head. The funny thing is, if you don’t know your own worth, people think you’ve had it gone to your head anyway. It pays to be the realistic one.

If you think others don’t care about you any more than you care about them, they’ll think you’ve had your ‘popularity’ go into your head… And other things. Don’t treat people who are not your equals as your equals. Learn to put people in their place. It gives others the opportunity to have a realistic self-image. That is the greatest gift you can give anyone. To let people know where they stand in the pecking order.

And also… Don’t go down without a fight fearing you might be one of those people who simply don’t get it. If you can’t see it yet, be brave and fight until someone shows you your true place, rather than shy away from the fight and accept a second seat in the fear of embarrassment. Be realistic. Give yourself compliments you deserve – but only those you deserve, to the extent you deserve them.

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