So you feel someone who you love doesn’t know how much they are loved, and you feel that you need to put in extra effort to convince someone you love them, right? They might reject you all the time, and tell you that you don’t really love them, and as a result, you try harder to prove to them that you do, either emotionally or actually through actions. And, the surprising effect is, that the more you try, the less this person believes you love them.

You might think that their self-esteem is so low that they don’t believe that you love them, but the truth might be the opposite. She or he might have such a healthy self-esteem, that you behaving as thought you were some kind of a hero for managing to conjure up these feelings for them, you convince them of nothing but that they love themselves more than you do and that they actually deserve someone who truly values them rather than you.

To convince someone you love them you do need to realize that it shouldn’t feel like you’ve managed to perform a small miracle to feel those emotions for someone as loathsome as they are; “Can’t you understand I love you? Me, the Amazing, loves You, the Pitiful! You can’t BELIEVE your luck, can you?” You see what I am saying?

If you feel like this… You are most likely, by the way, talking about a Trail Companion* rather than a True Emotion Mirror, who is much more likely to actually need a bit of convincing on your part:

How to convince someone you love them when they actually do need convincing

When True Emotion Mirrors come face to face, they often DO doubt the possibility that this amazing person would love them truly. Even with the most self-confident people, meeting an actual True Emotion Mirrors will spur up every last insecurity they hold, and then, they do need to be encouraged a bit, but the most likely situation is that BOTH parties are equally insecure about the other, quite possibly because they have had so many people fall head over heels in love with them while they, themselves, were mostly lukewarm about it, and now they fear the shoe is in the other foot; they fear that now THEY think they are loved and are afraid of believing it so they wouldn’t make a fool out of themselves like so many others who threw themselves at them. The other probable cause for this is effects of school bullying, leaving them always a little suspicious about people’s intentions, probably even having trusted someone’s love confessions before, only to be publically made fun for believing it.

You might actually want to carefully ask them if they even believe that you are serious about them. To convince someone you love them when they actually do doubt your every word requires a lot of care. They may even attack you by telling you that they don’t want you, or that THEY are not serious about you, they’re just playing, or anything that will save their face if they get proof of having been toyed with. The difference between people who do not believe you love them because you make it sound like a miracle that you do, and people who don’t believe you because they seriously need you to convince that you do is quite difficult to make. Both are withdrawn, both may seem shy or insecure when in fact the first group is trying to tell you that you’re not wanted, and the second group is simply trying not to say anything stupid, both motives resulting to them being silent and unwilling to talk to you much. If you don’t even realize that this person MIGHT be insecure about your feelings because you would never think someone that amazing would have insecurities, you might interpret their insecurity as a rejection, just the same as the miracle-lovers interpret rejection for insecurities.

What I suggest as a mode of approach – on a hindsight – is to avoid huge, overwhelming gestures, and move as slowly and through the tiniest possible approaches in order to make your True Emotion Mirror used to the idea that you just MIGHT be serious. Prove your interest over time, and don’t go back on your words or protect your ego by lashing out that you don’t really want them, either… Or, perhaps you should. 😀 The thing is… This is a minefield to walk through, so the likelihood of anyone actually managing to walk through it without setting off an alarm or two is truly near impossible. And here’s the thing: When you feel insecure about talking to them too candidly yourself, you will be more than tempted to send them a love letter to explain how you feel. That is exactly the type of approach that will freak a True Emotion Mirror out completely, so… Don’t do it. Check this video for more about True Emotion Mirror love letters, and let’s just hope we won’t blow it all up for good by being too impatient.

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