How to deal with constantly being stared at as a celebrity?

I believe everything is easier to deal with when you understand what is going on, in this case, in the minds of the people staring at you.

Let me try to understand how you feel like, first if being stared at bothers you. You feel singled out. Like a weirdo. Like someone who is made to take the heat of the attention that needs to go somewhere. A circus freak. Maybe even a scapegoat.

Maybe you only stare at people who you dislike? Perhaps to you, staring is a sign of disapproval: “I see what you are doing, change!” And now, when people stare at you, you don’t know how to take it.

Assumptions of why…

I don’t mind being stared at because I ASSUME that it is admiration. That’s where my mind goes.

I have a slight issue with people not looking at me while laughing. That gives me the creeps even if, logically, I know that they are barely aware that I exist, and they are laughing at something that has nothing to do with me. Still, that makes my skin crawl… Because I can’t shake the feeling, they are laughing at me. Something I’m wearing amuses them, right? However, when they openly stare at me, I feel fine. They like me.

People who don’t like you don’t want to feed your ego further.

Maybe a similar problem plagues you with people staring at you. Perhaps you can’t connect it with the feeling of being loved and admired when you feel judged and criticized, even if you logically know these people are your fans.

You may try to explain your ill-feeling by telling yourself that there are people who hate you in there, too, but that’s unlikely, especially if they didn’t announce it. If they are there to tell you they hate you; they’ll let you know. Whether your booers are right or wrong is on your conscience.

I have a little dark sense of humor, but I’ll tell you this: Nobody you’ve met has hated you enough to kill you yet. The same idea applies; if you don’t get booed to your face, if people don’t tell you your ego is the size of a mountain, nobody you’ve met has felt that way yet. In a crowd, if someone is making a point that they’re not there to STARE AT YOU, that is probably the person who “doesn’t want to feed your ego” by “making you think they like you.” They may be there to escort a friend or a relative, a little sister or a niece, but do not want you to think they’re there for you.

People are curious social animals.

People are people. They are curious about other people. They are curious about someone they’ve already heard of but never met. They want to know if they can pick if the stuff they’ve heard is true.

You must understand WHY they stare, why they comment, why do they care. If they hate you, love you… If they hate you, why do they keep watching? If they love you, can’t they show some respect? Well.

If they hate you, they want to make sure you don’t negatively influence their lives or the lives of their children. Particularly their children. If they love you… Well. If you see someone you love, do you look away? Not in a million years! Imagine someone you genuinely love walking past you. You have a few seconds to soak them in before your chance is gone forever. Of course, you’ll stare.

If they don’t know whether they love you or hate you, they’re going to stare because they want to figure this out. Are you a good guy or a bad guy? What does their gut say now that they have the opportunity to decide for themselves rather than allow tabloid writers to choose for them? Of course, they’ll stare.

I once saw a media-hated Australian footy player with my own eyes.

Jason Akermanis is an Australian Rules Football player who got into the press’ teeth by saying something that people assumed was homophobic. He said that he’d keep it to himself if he were a gay AFL player.

What I figure he meant was that there’s too much to deal with while you’re a pro player and that it would just make things overly difficult to come out during your professional career. He figured you can come out AFTER your career is over to make things easier for yourself and to focus on what matters: Footy. But the way people interpreted it was that he was basically waiting for homos in the shower room with a baseball bat if anyone dared to come out in his team.

I knew he wasn’t well-liked at all at the time. But when I saw him at that airport, I took a good look into his eyes, and instantly I knew this was a good guy. THIS GUY was not homophobic or callous. He was concerned about the gay players in AFL and didn’t want anything to happen to them that would interfere with their footy or with their lives. To him, being made some gay rights poster boy in addition to handing a pro career in footy was just too much to ask of a person. Being a pro footy player is hard enough as it is.

One look in his eyes and I completely changed what I thought of him. Real-life eye contact is an INCREDIBLY powerful way to get to know a person. Photos work, TV is better, but nothing beats the chance to see a person for yourself. Given the chance, wouldn’t you want to look in the eyes of your own idols if just for a second?

I’ll blog about people’s assumption that everybody must be a fucking public speaker with the eloquence of Barack Obama another day.

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