How to make a person who thinks your business is theirs stay out of your business?

People who like to stay equal to people don’t really confront people too easily. They can be a bit of a push-over at times. I personally tend to let over-bearing people huff and puff and then ignore them as they fuck off, as their opinion, to me, means absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, they may think this is a sign of stupidity or incompetence, the inability to follow instruction, not a sign of them pushing their nose into someone else’s business.

What they assume is that because you’re not shouting back at them or telling them to mind their own business is that you accept them as your boss. You may have not even CONSIDERED such a thing, but you simply ignore them because why WOULD YOU listen to someone who has no relevance to you whatsoever, or who, from where you sitting, don’t get a say in what it is that they are huffing about. You may think to ignore them is the best way to go about it, but it’s still freaking annoying that they keep coming back for more useless and point-missing life advice.

Don’t let them stay in the illusion that you’re actually listening.

The crazy thing is that these people actually think they’re helping

What we, the Savants*, tend to miss is that these people think they are helping us in life. We feel they try to control things and to push us into a box of some description. They don’t, really. What they are trying to achieve is to give us the feeling that someone is in our corner, someone is helping us get through this thing called life. We tend to miss their point, because we weren’t feeling insecure in the first place, we weren’t LOOKING for advice or opinions or anyone’s guidance, so when it comes out of the blue we feel they simply wish to boss us around and have their way.

What they would do in our shoes explains their behavior

What they would do in our situation is that they’d ASK FOR HELP with every major decision in life. What they would also do, is to close up and not say a word when they are OVERWHELMED by a life choice and have no clue of what to do. When they are so insecure, they can’t even VOICE their options to people. An Savant* doesn’t even think about asking anyone’s opinion, their mind is made up. They know what THEY want, and who cares what anyone else has to say, which is why they don’t ask for help, and which is why the Normal Person* think they haven’t got a clue about what to do… At this stage, someone helpful and social comes in and starts dictating what they think a Savants* should do. We the Savants* feel confused because we don’t know why they are getting themselves involved in something that doesn’t concern them.

What they would also do is to test their helper’s authority on the topic. They’d ask for help and then argue against it to figure whether or not you know what you’re talking about. So when you argue your point against their suggestion, they think you’re only testing them on how well they know their business. When you tell them to get off your case because your mind is already made up, they think you are SO INSECURE about what you want is that you don’t even know how to test their opinion yet. If you tell them to get off your case becasue your mind is made up, they feel you are rushing into it because you haven’t even tested your opinion with the people who care about you by having an argument about it.

If a person is bold enough to give you unsolicited advice, you are entitled to being bold enough to say you’re not looking for any

Before things get out of hand, let this person know you are not looking for life advice from them. If this is your mom or your dad and you’re a teenager and you have an idea of what you want to do with your life, tell them. “Mom, dad, I thank you for your advice but I don’t need any. I’ll ask when I have a problem I’ll trust you to have a solution for.”

Many the Savants* feel like they have to give other people with an opinion about their life a voice. You can do that, but let them know what you are listening for: “I’ll hear you out, but I’ll make that decision myself when the time comes.”

Have a spine. Us the Savants* tend to lack a spine a bit. That’s our single biggest flaw. At the same time, we are strong in the sense that we can take a lot of crap from a lot of people without letting it get us down, but there’s a better way.

Bossy people like a spine, to be honest

People tend to treat you the way they expect to be treated. Everyone, apart from the people who do as I am about to instruct, leads by example. We want to show others how to be a nice or a respectable person. We all behave the way we want people to behave around us, that is a good general rule to follow.

You have your own way of doing things, remember that. Then, you have an ability to mirror behavior. Whenever someone is behaving in an unwanted way near you, mirror that behavior. Become them.

If they boss you around, you boss them around. If they tell you what to do, you tell them to go fuck themselves and do it themselves or whatever or send them on an errand of your own. Show them who’s the boss. Don’t be the one being bossed around unless you don’t mind it or they’re paying you for it. Even if they’re paying you, you might as well say a word or two.

If you want to be equal to someone, BE equal to everyone around you, including the bossy bitch you can’t stand. Match their energy. Match their willpower, and throw them the fuck out of the business that isn’t theirs.

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