“I love you, now you get to be worthy of me” is not real love

This is mainly women’s problem. The way they look at a man tells him, that she’s already done her part: she loves him. What she means by it, is that she loves the idea of a guy of his description doing stuff for her.

I realized something rather scary myself the other day. A woman who I don’t particularly like, let’s not name any names here, in spirit, gasped when I was editing a video I recorded earlier: “Oh, her voice! How I love her voice! I never realized.” This was THE FIRST TIME EVER that I’ve actually felt a woman’s love for me to be genuine, simple joy of me being… me, in a gushy sense. I have felt admired, appreciated, respected, idolized, and envied by women before in real life. I’ve even been sexually attacked by women in spirit. But that was genuinely the first time I BELIEVED a woman loves me – this includes my mother’s so-called love.

Men look at me in a very different way. They are curious “who are you? (And why do you feel so amazing to me?)” They think “how can I protect you? What do you need from me? What do you want? Let me serve you.” This is troublesome to me because I actually LOVE men. Many men. I look at them and see… Delight. The same way as we look at adorable animals, I look at men: the reward is already there. They don’t need to SERVE ME for me to feel absolutely blessed to have them in my sights. But they don’t know what that means. They FEEL IT, I think, but they don’t know what it means. How are they supposed to respond?

“Oh you lucky guy, I think you’d make a great servant!”

Women tend to have this idea about love, that they accept you as their servant, and you should feel lucky. The top bitch will look around and approve of other women to bring her food and clothe her in the morning. She looks around and finds a handsome guy who she permits to work to keep her alive and die for her if needed. Talk about entitlement. “You shall look good in my personal court servant.”

Narcissism is mainly a male problem is the BIGGEST load of crap I’ve ever heard. We are so used to narcissistic females, our red flags don’t go up anymore.

When a man meets a woman who doesn’t imagine how a noose would look around his neck when he’s hoisted at the gallows over a crime she committed, he doesn’t quite know how to take it. And that is a MASSIVE problem to True Emotion Mirrors.

How powerful can actual, selfless love actually be?!

So one gasp from a woman I don’t even like got me fearing I actually AM a lesbian, after all this, I might actually be a lesbian! Right? I’ve gone 45 years in this world never having to worry about love from women. Jealousy, sure. Ownership, yeah. Dodging all kinds of offers of friendship. And yes, I know some good, respectful, nice women who I know appreciate me and I don’t expect nor want anything more from them, but at the ripe age of 45, I recognized one reaction to be actual, real, personal love, FOR ME. Not a concept like “my daughter” or “the extension of my ego”, but just selfless joy for who I am.

That love is not even mutual, but even being the OBJECT of that reaction made me feel so good, I am fearing I’m going to just turn into a lesbian on the fucking spot! By a woman I genuinely don’t like even! Whose morals and attitudes are NOTHING but questionable!

So this explains to me, how all these men have fallen for me… In spirit. Literally, the most sought-after men in the world. Men who are married to beauty queens, professional models, Hollywood and TV actresses, stars of all descriptions, and with ONE LOOK, I turn them into my lovers. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING, I’ve been thinking. What do they see in me? How can this be so easy for me?” But I realize if one single gasp from a woman I don’t even appreciate can startle me that much… What can the adoration from someone… ehrm… nice do to a man?

I have insisted that “it’s not that I’m that great, it’s that the competition is that shit”, but then there was Lisa. Heck. I would have damnned near married her myself!

Still, what makes love, love?

It still doesn’t explain the fact most of these men are the center of ADORATION, and I do believe they feel authentically loved by their fans. Even I feel the love their fans feel for them. Their FEMALE fans, at that. I do know many of these women would do just about anything to protect their idol. Still… What was it about me that caught their attention so bad? The fact they can hear my thoughts?

I’ll let them answer and try not to cancel out too much, sirs… Oh my lord. They asked me to take a Tarot card, instead. It hmm. In generic terms, they saw my personality and “everything” rather than my appreciation for them. In addition, they say I made them love themselves, too, I saw them in a way that made them think they were… Alright. Enough. Even plenty. As themselves. And I know, that when that love and appreciation comes from someone you truly respect and whose opinion you value, it feels about thousand times more meaningful. Which is why HER one adoring remark threw me so. She’s been professing to her love for ages and I haven’t even blinked, because for the first time, this was purely selfless. It just WAS her feelings, accompanied with the notion of “well I can’t do anything about it but still!” I am pretty sure it’s simply the fact I GENUINELY am not used to love that comes without a fuck ton of expectations on me. “I love you this much therefore you will have to XYZ…”

True love is a mutually involuntary reaction to someone lovable

So. That leads me back to the notion that love is an involuntary reaction to someone lovable. You simply notice that someone is amazing. True love, in the sense of the stuff we’re all looking for, is the situation when both you and them feel equally involuntarily in love with the other. It’s simply SEEING nothing you don’t like in that person. Not meaning you’re blinded by love, but quite the opposite: you open your eyes so fully open, and STILL you can’t see anything you don’t love. You see flaws, but they’re beautiful in that person. Sexy, beautiful, or exciting. It is AMAZING.

True love cannot be blind, it must be wide-open-eyed. Fake love is blind(ed).

Love at first sight

A few nights ago, I witnessed two straight men meet for the first time in spirit. I’ve known both of them for years, but never thought to introduce them to each other. However, one said something that the other felt scared by so he decided to “go check him out” if he was a danger to anyone. When he did, they looked at each other, and you should have seen their faces! It was like in cartoons when someone falls in love. When their faces just melt into this gasp of oooh!

He, my brother, that is, said he had doubted the notion of “knowing this is your soulmate” his whole life as absolute bullocks… His new best friend is a lot less cynical which is why it probably hit him with a notch less intensely, yet, they both agree they have their future lives mapped out in generic terms with the kind of youthful folly that is in great danger of getting them both killed, which is why I kinda invited a suitable female into the mix and all of the sudden they turned into SUPER CAUTIOUS, like MAD cautious just so they don’t endanger her.

His children are my children

Just as a curious side note, my brother’s new best friend was immediately enthralled with his children. It was as if he was gasping: “these are my children”.

I have recognized that in myself, too, in regard to my True Emotion Mirror’s children, that I feel like they’re… My children. I can name some that are MORE their mom’s kids than their dad’s kids, but… The ones who are their dad’s kids are My Kids, too… And I’m decidedly childfree, too. (I do think my brothers’ eldest, is a bloody awesome kid, tho. The only one of the 3 that I’ve actually met in person as I live on the other side of the world from them.)

I often have pointed out the astonishing fact that True Emotion Mirrors love each other more than they love their own children, but there is that other thing: As a couple/soup, you treat each other’s children as if they were your own… Once it’s not weird, at least. You just know you’ll love those kids as if they were your own – but not more than you love your True Emotion Mirror, because your children NEED TO BE FREE to find their own True Love, and if their parents are as much in love with them as each other – let alone more – pain. Suffering. Shitty crappy old age for the parent, while the child struggles to get free from their parents, or it leads to a borderline sexual co-dependent parent-child relationship as the child matures.

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