“If I don’t force you to stay, will you stay?”

All people test love somehow. This is my own test that I’ve always done knowingly, so I know how this type of a person thinks. This is not the best method, at all, but it is one I have been inclined to use, for better or worse, out of my own fears.

By writing this, I hope you can recognize a pattern in the person you love and act accordingly.

It starts out from the fact that THEY THEMSELVES can be guilted and bullied into relationships. They feel OBLIGATED to love other people. They feel they are being pushed into “loving everyone” and “caring” for others, “giving other’s a chance” despite their own true feelings. They also are often the target of people trying to force their hand into a relationship, and they are more than aware of good people being persuaded into relationships they don’t want by persisting suitors who lay a massive guilt trip on their target, trapping them into a relationship they do not want to be in.

The fear of being the rolling pin -yielding wife

They fear, more than anything, that they will in some way put pressure on another person so that they feel obligated to stay in that relationship, or even too scared to leave it. One identifying feature of these people is unusually good looks, as they are prime targets for a lot of people, both men and women, guilting and pestering them for a relationship. As people are highly motivated by good looks, having a stunning looking friend, especially for a plain looking girl, is a rise in status and an asset as the good-looking friend works as a lure for men, and the friend gets the spoils. It is easier to understand why good-looking people will be tempting to others to pin down for a relationship by the opposite gender.

All good looking people being possible targets, especially if they have a nice and friendly character, are targets. They are perceived as “less shallow” than other good-looking people, and thus, their love is more valuable than any other person’s love, even though kindness in itself makes the love “available for all” in moderation.

These people will also often fall for people similarly good looking and mild-mannered, therefore, those people can be equally unwilling to pressure the other person into staying with them.

As a side note, it would be wise for exceptionally good-looking people to learn to discreetly avoid people they are not authentically interested in, rather than try and be nice to all people, as that is one of those good deeds that will be punished.

Between a rock and the hard place

Another factor that comes to play with good looking people is that they are aware of the pressure to settle. Therefore, they are always rejecting people, dodging bullets so to speak. This gives them a keen awareness of the fact how other good-looking people must be feeling. They are often more than equipped in letting people down gently, and they use a lot of indirect ways to tell people they are not interested. They do this before that person makes a move, to stop things from getting uncomfortable. Such as mentioning a boyfriend or a girlfriend before they’ve been asked about, mentioning plans of moving out of the city or being very busy at work and that kind of remarks, that they hope the interested person will understand as hints to not pin their hopes on them.

They are also always chased and approached by other people. They are generally speaking horribly bad at chasing, and making moves on others. They rarely need to pick up the phone and call someone, as they are used to their own phone ringing off the hook – and many of them are happy when the phone DOESN’T ring.

How they EXPECT things to progress

These people expect things to progress from a discussion, exchanging thoughts to hanging out or to having sex (different strokes for different folks) gradually. They expect a mutual to-and-fro. “I speak to you, you answer. I ask you over, then you ask me over.” They expect a mutual interaction in both directions.

IF for some reason that cannot happen, one awful reason being that the other person is married or in a relationship of another kind, they expect that person to take the lead in the relationship and be forthright on what their plans are. They expect the other person to clear out their slate so to speak on their own, without pressure and then move on from there.

Good looking kind people are rarely approaching others with their cat nails out…

Conditioned to think being chased feels negative

Good looking people get this a lot. A lot of people want to push for a relationship, and when it keeps coming from the wrong people, they start feeling like there’s something wrong with them for not loving these people. They will get gradually conditioned to thinking that pressuring people into meeting them, forming friendships and romantic relationships with them makes the target feel like crap. Unpopular people will find it very difficult to understand how attention and interest from another person, let alone offered love or friendship could possibly be a bad thing or feel depressing. However, a wrong person let too close will block away the right ones, especially if the wrong person is the girlfriend or boyfriend.

On that note, I, personally, have made a decision to not give a damn if a guy is married or in a relationship anymore, as he may feel just as trapped and short-changed as I’ve felt in many relationships of mine. (Write later¹ )

Good looking girls, in particular, don’t think they’d have to chase or play a bloke

Be aware that good looking, nice, popular girls don’t tend to think they would have to chase and jump through hoops in order to make a guy commit to them. They get more offers than they know what to do with. They also reject 50 guys for every guy they consider dating or sleep with – and “good girls” have a higher number than this. They also reject people who are perfectly nice people, perfectly good guys who simply don’t make the cut. Therefore, they don’t think it is unthinkable that a good looking popular guy would reject them, either.

Good looking men are used to being the target of some serious cat action, so they may not realize when someone with a relatively solid self-esteem is serious about them. No playing, no chasing, no throwing herself at him. No smootching on his friends to get his attention, no back stabbing of other girls etc etc. This is called respect and self-respect, not “disinterest” or “a rejection”.

Think how good it feels when someone you actually like chases you

Good looking people should take a moment to think how good it feels or would feel if someone you actually liked would chase you a bit. It would feel like mountain fresh water, wouldn’t it? It would feel mind-blowing. It would make you gasp for breath in amazement this could happen to you.

The good-looking people are more afraid and intimidated by each other than anyone else is. When the looks are combined with the exact character traits they value, people tend to freeze. Consider the possibility they feel the same way and try and make things easy for them in your end… And know that sometimes people will react to you in a negative way because they think you think you can have anyone, and even if they’re interested, they still reject you just to stand out of the crowd.

Try and trust your instincts.

Rejection and premature running

Try not to over-react to a POSSIBLE rejection. Sometimes what seems to be a rejection is another test of love. “Are you interested enough to have an actual conversation? I know you want sex, and while I maybe fine with that, what I’m curious about if you’d stay for a chat.”

1. A label I leave for myself to remind me of topics that I need to address later on, which I may have forgotten or not have had time to do so far. Remind me if you have time. ↩

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