If you are seeking fame, you must survive the narcissist females.

Becoming famous is not easy by anyone’s standard, but there’s another hurdle: Narcissistic women, more often known as frenemies… And a few narcissistic men here and there. However, what has been systematically weeded out of the male of the species is still very much alive and well in females. It is so common in women that we consider it “just the way women are,” but that’s not entirely what we’re dealing with.

To wrap your mind around the narcissistic woman, it may help if you think of a pack of dogs and their hierarchical system. He who barks the loudest, longest, and refuses to go down in a fight usually wins. We also know about dogs, where male dogs fight for dominance more often, but their fights are rarely very bloody. Males recognize the hierarchy easier than female dogs do. The same seems to be largely true in the narcissistic human female. Although females fight less frequently, the fights tend to be more bloody and fierce.

Men rarely see or BELIEVE what goes on between women.

Now, what men need to know, is that women like to hide this side of female interaction from them, as it isn’t pretty. Many narcissistic women also want to keep their men on their side and know showing their malicious side will be counter-productive if they want their man to do their bidding for them.

Mortal enemies may pretend to be best friends for as long as the men are in the room because that’s what men like to see. As soon as men walk out of the room, the air will INSTANTLY change. Some women keep away from other women for this very reason, and I’m one of those women – which is why I feel inclined to blog about it openly. I’m not going to piss off my friends doing so.

Life of a woman like this is highly stressful. They must constantly look over their shoulder for the next attack and usually do it while smiling.

Narcissistic women are the reason why many people give up thriving for fame.

This has two consequences: Untalented narcissistic women make it to the top far more often than they have any right to (oh, and I know I’m picking a fight here), and secondly, talented women drop out of the game early on simply because they’re thinking it is not worth the drama to keep going. This is what the narcissistic female SEEMS to be aiming at, but that’s not it exactly. They just think everyone is ferocious, and they’re just doing what they need to do to keep afloat… And in a sense, it is true.

However, there are better ways around it. One of the best ways is to pick your battles. Don’t waste energy on things you don’t know the reward of. People who have high standards for their friends or other ‘club members’ are not necessarily worth the drama. A LOT OF people (jobs) play hard to get to give that impression they’re of higher value than those easier to get. (Let me give you men a little friendly tip: Most vaginas are virtually alike. No reason to stand for drama for one that is much like the one attached to a friendlier and fitter female.)

You see, narcissism isn’t a result of talent or even passion. One way of describing it is that it results from the morbid fear of missing out on what a person is perceived to need. This is a funny sentence, but let me explain. Narcissists** are REALLY BAD at deciding what they are like, what they want, and what they need. Therefore, they will grab hold of ANYTHING that someone else wants, even not knowing what it is for. They will also try and define themselves according to what others want and need, without having much of an understanding why something is needed or wanted or where it’s even coming from.

Narcissists** believe everyone else is faking it, too.

A narcissist will believe 100% that everyone fakes their lives to a degree. They make friends who will give them permission to break down and act like a full-grown baby, and confess to them they’re nothing like what their image portrays, but they feel forced to keep up the appearances. The only way a narcissist holds onto their own sense of competence is the belief everyone else is as fake as they are and as scared and insecure as they are – but this is not at all true. They will also try to break a fully competent, self-reliant people under the assumption they, too, just need to cry. (Narcissistic abuse.)

If you know that narcissists believe everyone else is faking it, too, you can use this to your advantage… Just don’t think that a normal, truly competent person thinks you’re faking it…

Base rules while seeking fame.

Now, to keep on top of the game with narcissistic women – who will do their hardest to entangle you into their bullshit if they find you impressive, and if you’ve got a shot of fame, that fits you – you’ll have to learn a few basics.

1. Don’t get provoked into TRYING to prove your worth to ANYONE if it feels weird. Any audition that you go to, feels like they just want to see if you’d walk on fire for the gig, walk away from it, don’t even think twice. THAT is not about looking for the best talent, that’s seeking the most desperate stupid talent. NEVER allow yourself to be bossed around for a gig, no matter what kind of a job offer they hold in their hand. FORCE THEM to chase you if you’re even willing to strike a deal with a narcissist. Make sure the narcissist knows YOU are the one calling the shots.
2. If you’re a woman, DO NOT involve yourself with your boyfriends/husband’s female friends without caution. Be friendly, but keep your distance. Don’t let them latch on.
3. Only make friends with people with great humor and who can make fun of themselves, too. (Notice that narcissists only make fun o themselves once they’ve cast themselves as a verifiable loser in need of an adult baby bottle.)
4. Know that you can manipulate narcissists by giving them and denying them attention. Attention from you or anyone else is a carrot; denying attention is the stick.
5. If you don’t know what to do with narcissists, think of them like a 4-year-old child. How do you communicate your meaning to a 4-year-old child? Kindly, not sarcastically, right?
6. If you are a narcissist, find other narcissists to make friends with, and confess to each other the game you play. Drop the mask with your friends, even if you can’t do that with others. Just for your own good. This will begin your healing process.

NOTE: The woman in the featured image is not narcissistic. She has a soft, kind look in her eyes, like which you’d never see in the eyes of an actual narcissist. (A narcissist would also never pose for a photo, clearly implying they’re one. The daffodil, you see, has another name, Narcissus, and for instance, in Finnish, the flower is named ‘narsissi’, and a narcissist is called ‘narsisti’.)

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