If you get upset a lot, you might have to reassess your expectations.

There are few realities that people must accept in order to remain calmer in life. If you have unrealistic expectations of other people, you get disappointed a lot. You feel VIOLATED when people are treating you fairly or quite predictably. For instance… Expecting people to respect your pronouns and having a massive emotional response every time someone makes a mistake will make YOU feel bad A LOT. That’s just… Dumb.

A quick list of things you should NOT ruin your day over.

• They are not nearly as interested in your life as you are. They’ll get the details about your existence wrong. Don’t worry about it. Remind them.
• People judge you based on their own experience base. Their job is not to be aware of the life details of every person in the world – the less they know you, the less they are able to relate to you straight away. Don’t worry about it; give them time to get to know you and your way of life.
• Not all people look for the same things in relationships as you are. They will likely assume you’re looking for whatever they’re used to. Don’t worry about it, inform them. Have a conversation and learn about their expectations, too. It’s interesting.
• People make assumptions about strangers. It is unrealistic to expect people to know, pick up on, or focus on things about you that aren’t important to them. Don’t worry about it. Point out interesting and important things about you; if they still don’t get it, explain why it’s important or interesting. If they still don’t understand, ask them why they find it unimportant. Prepare to learn from them. It’s an opportunity.
• People are used to a certain type of person. We roughly typecast people around us to make a living in huge societies like ours possible. You might be typecast incorrectly because they don’t spend a lot of time with your type. They’ll assume things. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be fun to change their perception by experience of your kind. Try not to prove their negative expectations correct by being a narcissistic, entitled asshole about it.
• You don’t need to be upset over the fact someone else is clueless about people or your subculture. There is no human instance where you’ll be automatically important to a stranger, apart from the True Emotion Mirror and Precious Soulmate phenomena. A regular stranger will not care whether you come or go. Don’t worry about it; you need people around you who don’t think the Sun shines out of your ass. They’re easier to operate with on a day-to-day basis.
• Assess your importance to people and adjust your expectations and entitlements to match. Don’t worry about having to make everyone like you or love you. That’d be exhausting because it would be an impossible task for anybody.
• Don’t be upset if someone else is stupid or misinformed about you and your circumstances. You’ll be upset a lot. People are not psychic. Stop getting worked up over that fact. The fact they don’t know doesn’t mean they wouldn’t care if they knew.
• People tend to love their own children, and children tend to love their parents. However, once the child becomes a teenager, the chances are they don’t love their parents nearly as much as you’d wish they did. Don’t react to the fact they don’t love you; consider the reasons why. Getting upset over something your child cannot control would be dumb; YOU can control how you treat your child, not how they react to the treatment they receive. Press your own buttons, not your child’s.
• You will not be a perfect parent no matter how much you want to be. Aim to be good enough. (If you expect your child to validate your perfect parenting, you can count on them thinking you were a shitty parent.) Again, adjust your own attitudes if you have issues with your children. Otherwise, you’ll be doing the same thing expecting a different result a lot.
• People are not like you. Everyone has SOMETHING in common with you; don’t count on that something to be enough for a true connection. Stop expecting mundane to turn into magical simply because you’re too lazy or scared to keep looking. Stop getting upset over “nobody loving you” if you’ve only ever asked ONE person to love you.
• The way they express love or interest may not be the same as your way. You can get your wires crossed. That is understandable. Explain your position.
• A person who is NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU didn’t DENY YOU LOVE. They cannot DENY you something they don’t feel toward you. (Similarly to someone holding a gun to your head insisting you give them a million dollars when you only have 6000 dollars. You don’t DENY THEM that money – you just don’t have it.)
• True love ignites by accident. It is out of the control of the people feeling it. You can truly love someone who doesn’t love you – it’s a credit to their character, not yours. They are lovable, but maybe you’re not. Stop expecting people to fall in love on your command. It’d be as stupid as keep waving a magic wand at the moon and tell it to get warm like the Sun.
• Some people fall in love when they think another person loves them. They fall in love with the love felt toward them. Other people don’t. They’re too loved to fall in love with everyone who loves them – they need more than that. Don’t get involved with people who are too popular to give a shit about you among the other million people among whom there are their True Emotion Mirrors.
• If you expect people to treat you as the most important person in the room, whatever room you’re in, you’re going to be disappointed a lot. Unless you’re willing to work at being the most important person in the world, stop worrying about the rooms that you’re not the most important person in. That’ll happen a lot.
• If you trust a woman to be perfect and flawless because she’s a woman, it’s a matter of luck whether you find a good one or not. And if she’s a good one, she’s probably not happy being treated as if she was perfect SIMPLY for the virtue of being a woman. She deserves a pedestal compared to other women, as perfect women are a rarity just like perfect men are. Stop being blinded by your wish to fall in love and start looking for flaws in women the same way you do with men. You’ll waste less time being blind-sighted by female flaws.
• Most things worth having come with a level of work involved. Don’t get discouraged simply because you weren’t born with expert level knowledge of everything you might wish to know.
• If you act like you don’t care about a person, don’t be surprised if they have a mature reaction to it. A mature person will move on and find someone else who cares about them, instead start crying at your feet how you must love them. If you lose a person to pretending you don’t care, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.
• Don’t expect a mature, self-confident person to react to every emotion they feel like they were starring a home remodeling reality TV show. Most people keep their emotions under some control and expect you to give them a permission to fawn on you, because overly emotional strangers are fucking annoying, aren’t they? Stop being offended or disappointed because people don’t want to annoy you or pressure you, right?

Why you MUST.

• There are people who love you for real. Don’t waste time on people who don’t.
• There are people who want to COACH you to be their ideal partner if you’re into that sort of thing. Don’t waste time on people who don’t want to.
• You can relax about people being obsessed about every mistake you make – they don’t care. All they want to know is that there’s someone out there who is equally or even bigger fuck up than they are.
• Gen Z is coached to be offended by people’s ignorance or possible signs of it. That’s the dumbest thing in the world to be offended by, considering you can certainly count on both ignorance and misinterpretations to exist. You’ll spend your life and youth offended instead of making friends.
• When you realize not all people want or look for the same things as you do, you can move on and find the people who do. Easier life.
• You don’t have to be offended when strangers don’t think you’re the most important person in their life. You don’t have to be a nobody with celebrity reception everywhere you go. Relaxing.
• You won’t be offended by true love when it happens to someone you wanted. You’ll realize love is about feeling happy for the people you love. You’ll become better at loving, and you’ll never be hurt as long as your loved ones are happy.

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