If you leave, don’t hesitate. LEAVE properly.

No matter how much you used to love someone, if you need to leave them, LEAVE. Don’t stay oohming and aahming over it, whether you had the right, whether they survived or not, if they got depressed or not. Leave. Don’t look behind.

The reason for this is that if they loved you, and you leave your energy with them, they’ll have to consider the possibility you’re coming back. You’ll still be stuck together and miss each other over the pity you feel for leaving them. Just leave. Drop it all and take off.

Divorce with children.

This is also a very good reason to never have children with someone you’re uncertain about. It is absolute humbug to say you don’t know until you’re a parent. You should never have children “just in case you might regret it later” because it’s much better to regret NOT having children than it is to regret having them… Which is also a far more common regret, statistically. Still, this is a mistake made all the time.

If you ask me, the children should be divided between yourself and your spouse, by the instinct of which one is yours and which one is your partner’s true child. If you want to break up, it’s unlikely you share an equally strong bond with your mutual children, either.

Out of love for the ones you’re leaving, my opinion is that you should leave them completely, so they don’t need to hold loyalty toward you, out of feeling sorry for you. But now let me remind you that I don’t have children… So, I don’t know if it’s true you love them completely. I don’t think it is… As a non-parent, I’d say a lot of people stay connected with their exes and children out of appearances and guilt more than out of genuine love toward them.

Respect the natural bonds.

Still, if one of the kids is “yours” you’ll have to go back for that one, right? That’s why I think they should be split by their parents rather than keep them together as the primary objective. I believe there to be natural spiritual bonds within a biological family. I believe these natural bonds should be respected in divorce, without any prejudice toward mothers, fathers, siblings… Taking grandparents into the equation would be wise, too.

If you ask me, could I have picked between my family members as a child? I tell you, without any difficulty at all. Even as a child, I could have pointed to each one of them and said: “Mine, love you but not mine, mine, love you but not mine…” I like them all, but they’re not all MY family. But to be honest, permission to SEE THEM occasionally would have been important if I had had to choose, but I know which family members I would/could have wanted to live with permanently, and NOT go between houses all the time. I would have hated that. My parents are still together, but they’re not True Emotion Mirrors. Divorce was always in the cards, whether they even knew it themselves.

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