Importance of Authenticity

I often offer myself and my guys as an example of “authenticity”. We are a perfect example but we are not the perfect template. We are also not an example of perfection. An example is not to be confused with a model or an instruction, or a shared ideal. Examples are rarely meant to be copied, they are simply ONE possibility of millions of others to do things. People often give examples to illustrate a complex set of instructions rather than give a goal. An example, however, is to encourage trying new things, not to give a goal. One the Young Soul* thinking trend is to take an example and make an exact copy of it when it never was meant as something to copy but to show ONE possible way to do it.

Examples of examples

To explain what I mean: You may be learning competitive diving (diving into the swimming pool for points). In this case, someone is going to teach you the perfect standard, to show you what the judges are looking for. They’ll show you the exact template or a model to go after. The better you fit into the mold, the better your execution.

A knitting instructor may give you a perfect example of the result of what is to be expected once the instructions are perfectly followed. “This is what comes out when you follow the instructions.” Sure, you can still change the rules and come up with another correct answer, but the sample work is supposed to give you an idea of what it is that you are TRYING to achieve. If you’ve never seen mittens before, it’s good to see a pair before you start.

However, when you are encouraged to do creative work or something that thrives towards authenticity or personal, individual expression, examples are given as ONE POSSIBLE successful execution of the same exact instructions. This would be something akin to very generic instructions: “Paint a painting of your soul.” Now, there will be a class full of people full of questions: “How am I going to paint a picture of my soul?! That’s impossible!” So the instructor shows a few different paintings that hopefully look nothing alike, and say: “Here are a few examples.”

When I use myself as an example

When it comes to authenticity or spirituality, an example is simply one way to live a perfect life. There are millions of different ways to do it perfectly, therefore an example is often an extreme one: You can go this far out of the norm and still ace it! They give you the extremes, the boundaries of how far you can go – or rather an example of even though these people (us) find our authentic way of being this far out of the norm, this is STILL one of the millions of possibilities.

When I use myself and my guys as an example, I mean it as an encouragement to try your limits. THIS IS HOW WEIRD WE ARE, and we are still perfectly happy. See, it doesn’t matter how you do it or how weird you are, you just have to bravely follow your heart.

This is not a school even though you’re learning. Nobody is trying to push you into a mold but to liberate you from it.

Examples of perfect people

I often emphasize how we do things to show you how far of the norm authentic people can be. That’s how WE are, so far, so weird, so rebellious. I offer ourselves as an example so you would find the courage to be just as weird as you are in your own way, the way YOU think is perfect, the way you wish everyone wanted you to be in the perfect world (but likely don’t).

As far as people go, the perfect example of two extremes of thinking is Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. One is a perfectly executed presidential candidate, everything about her campaign was thought out to a standard. On the other hand, Donald Trump is somewhat of an ugly personality; warts and all visibly there, an authentic human being with a 0 public front. You can think of Donald Trump what you like, but faking to be perfect is certainly not one of his most honed skills (which is why a lot of people genuinely like him, even though they realize he’s not exactly what you’d call a perfect president).

The reason why it is so rare to see authentic people is demonstrated in the comparison of Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump so well. When you are authentic, people will criticize your true character traits, not the ones you present to them. It takes courage (or stupidity) to be perfectly real. Your true self is likely also not perfectly beautiful. You’ll have ugly thoughts, unpopular opinions, feelings that you’re not supposed to feel and the kind, and there’s nothing you can do about it but to hide them or to accept them as who you are. Hiding means inauthenticity, allowing them to be seen is authenticity.

A spiritual guide could NEVER give a perfect sample person to aim to become

Many people turn to religion with the mindset of wanting to find the perfect example of a person to become. They look at Jesus and think they have to become like Jesus to be a good person. They look at Gandhi, Buddha, or I don’t know, Kim Kardashian to give them the perfect role model to follow. However, an authentic spirit, an authentic soul, is never a copy of anyone, it is never a restricted, constricted, or fake, it is what it is, perfect as it is.

But as we are not necessarily loved for what we truly are, that is why we tend to try and change what we are so that people would love and appreciate us more. That is why authenticity is so rare, and why we keep tampering with the perfection. We assume EVERYONE should love us if we are “perfect”. That is not true at all. It takes work to accept that once you are perfectly you, you will be appreciated by many (depending on your own standards) but you won’t be loved by all, and that is scary… And that is why it is so difficult to pull off and master. To find the courage to be authentically you – risking that people will genuinely dislike the real, actual, unhidden, and unmasked, raw, you.

Our way of being the wrong kind is perfect for us

So we, my guys and me, the weirdos, the oddballs and misfits, to each other, we are perfect. From our subjective perspective, we’ve got it. We know the mysteries to perfect people. Our values are perfect and show true depth of character and true understanding of what is important, right? From OUR perspective. You will object. Other people will always object, but whenever one of us adjusts themselves based on YOUR wishes, they’ll ruin themselves a little for us. We want them back being what they ought to be, what we love them for – unruly, rebellious, shameless, overly sexual, slightly narcissistic, and flashy. Some of those attributes you may want to attach to yourself, some of them you don’t.

To find the way to “be a True Emotion Mirror”, you are not supposed to copy us, you are supposed to figure out what YOU find so delicious in this world that you’ll do it even if someone else told you they’ll never speak to you again if you do. This, actually, also applies to the people who you love the most. If they threaten you that they’d leave you if you do this or that or change your attitude to this or that, this actually breaks the bond. If they don’t love you when you are your own ideal person, they are not your True Emotion Mirror – either they never were or they no longer are. (This is not the same as saying “they are not a good person”, not at all, it simply means their values are different and thus, you and them belong into a different soul group.)

(Remember that everything is complex, and each article here supports another article. So some of the stuff that you find “not perfect” about your True Emotion Mirror may truly be the spice of it all, and thus, perfect.)

Authenticity is who you wish you were more than what you currently are

Another confusing aspect about authenticity is that it is not so much what you are currently, as it is what you value and what you admire. This is your GOAL. Authenticity is what you perceive to be perfection. These are your authentic ideals that you thrive towards. They may change over time, but usually not by a whole lot.

The reason why your authentic goals should tell you more about the real you than what you currently are does is that every relationship we hold (most of all that to our parents) will mold you as a person. Everyone has their opinions. Now, for you to identify what it is that you SHOULD be, find the things that you enjoy being, value and admire in others and wish to be yourself (both conditions must be met).

Your True Emotion Mirrors support your ultimate goal

Your True Emotion Mirrors also love your FUTURE IDEAL SELF more than what they love you now. You are all drawn to the same ideal pinpoint of a needle, the same GOAL. Therefore, they may reject you on the way when you are still not what you wish to be, to FORCE YOU to become what you actually want to be. If you don’t really make the cut, they will be the first ones to tell you. They will demand more of you than anyone else, because they feel you’ve got the chops to do it. However, don’t confuse this with an actual rejection and start aiming for becoming the ideal of some other person, but ALWAYS, EVERY TIME, focus on what YOU consider an ideal, ALONE, within yourself. Once you know what YOU value, you’ll also know what your ideal life partners, your True Emotion Mirrors value.

What you are now is a work in progress. That applies to most of us, and even those people who have already reached their goal are probably going to stay there for the time being only. People are driven by goals, and we only gain momentarily satisfaction by reaching those goals. As we reach one goal, we enjoy it for a while, and then…. We look on towards a new goal. This makes life exciting.

These goals are determined by your authentic values and your value structure is always at the base of things. Therefore, you don’t change, you expand, and grow. There’s a difference. You become more of what you already were, more perfectly what you wish you were, and you’ll edit and perfect yourself like a perfect sketch or a painting you’ll work on for an eternity.

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