Is it a Gift or a Bribe? Laws of love

Actual love is always a gift given to a person who brings you joy simply by being the person they are. Some people are so amazing, that they give people joy by basically just turning up, and we gift them love as a direct, involuntary reaction to the way they are. Think of Steven Tyler walking into a room and making all faces light up in the joy of his presence.

However, there are A LOT OF PEOPLE, most of them women, who give love as a form of bribe: I will give you this love, expecting you to do something nice for me, to repay me for this love I show you. But “showing love” is not loving. You can love without showing it, you can show love without loving, true love is a feeling that exists in you, whether you want it to or not.

Women are told over and over that they are so beautiful and virtuous, that it alone is enough to inspire true love in another person. That is…. However… A little bit too big of a promise in the real world… Even if a woman is an astonishing beauty.

What makes a love bribe?

In the Finnish language, the words “gift” and “bribe” are derived from each other: Lahja and lahjus. A lahjus (“a giftie”) is something you give with the trust that we have an understanding that this leads to receiving compensation for it; either a favor, goods, or indeed, a feeling like love. When you give love expecting love in return, it’s a bribe. “I show you love, then you show me love.” You have to at least understand, that even though you know that giving love often results in the existing loving feelings to be more freely expressed, as the other person feels safe to do so once you’ve opened that door, you understand that love isn’t always returned in the same measure as you feel or express it. You also understand that when you show love to someone, they usually show you as much love back as they feel safe to do; imagine Johnny Depp loving his fans coyly, knowing that showing as much love to his fans as they show him would end in a disaster. (Can you even imagine?)

Bribe-love is often given to high-end individuals, but are the least effect on them. They get this from EVERYBODY, with the expectation that somehow, YOUR bribe is the best one out of thousands and thousands. However, a person of that much value often wants true love; to feel that they are a joy in the presence of the people who love them, and they want that same joy: Feel that joy for the presence of another person, NOT for what kind of gifts they receive from people around them.

Families that give love as a bribe

Parents who give love as a bribe or payment for good behavior, good school grades, and obedience are going to wind up with emotionally scarred adult children, or children who will leave them or keep their emotional distance from their parents once they’re aging. People who give love as a bribe to their spouses are more than likely to be divorced later, men more easily than women. Women have brainwashed men into believing the only kind of love they can hope for is bought and paid for in direct money, favors, and protection of the female, even their mother. Some women would even feel shocked to hear a man express his pain for not being loved for who he is but what he does and gives to a woman. Some men agree wholeheartedly that it is his lot in life to be a utility item to his wife and family, and think nothing of it, even if it costs him his life to do.

When you feel true love for someone, you feel joy for the way they choose to be a person. Even their traumas and their weirdness fills you up with some kind of a pleasurable feeling; you know their issues come from the fact they are amazing in some way that doesn’t fit in their current surroundings and some situation in their lives. Still, you feel pleasure that they are not happy where they are not happy, because your ideal life is different and you sense that it would match their ideal life, too. Sometimes, sure, you love a person based on your imagination as to who they are and what they are, but nonetheless, a genuine feeling of love comes from the feeling of wishing to see that person a little happier every day… Their joy is your joy – automatically. The happier they are, the happier you are, EVEN IF they find someone else to make them happier than what you could make them, and also, the only time jealousy arises is your DOUBT that maybe who they’re choosing isn’t the best for them – even if you have to say you believe you’d make them happier if they let you.

Jealousy should drive you into proving to them that you’d make them happier than your rival, but having said that, there is a point where jealousy gets too much… And the object of it may already know that there is no way you could ever make me happy… even though I trust you truly want to try. Bribe-driven jealousy means that the object is supposed to love the bribe-lover the most, EVEN THOUGH they haven’t inspired that love yet: love me first, and then, I’ll show you how happy I can make you.

Appreciation vs. Love

Business is supposed to run by the basis of appreciation: I appreciate what you did for me, here, have money to show that appreciation. Female-led businesses fail because women often try to run and pay for services with love rather than appreciation, and love cannot truly be expressed with money. It can, but when it’s a business, money would make the love go cold, and therefore, women tend to instinctively keep money out of a business – whether they do this as the business owner or the customer.

It seems that because beauty is such a high-valued commodity between females if you share your beauty secrets with someone, it is worth money; after all, you are diluting your own chances of a rich marriage (and the chances of your female family members) by giving away your beauty secrets. It is also interesting that since women see a beautiful woman as a rival rather than a friend, a beautiful woman sharing her beauty secrets is seen as a hero and she can be appreciated by giving her money as compensation of any losses she suffers in sharing her beauty secrets with others. It seems to be the only service that women can be expected to be evolved enough to pay for. Anyone who sells things for women should use the phrase “sharing my/the secrets” in advertising no matter what they sell. “My secret to clean dishes… clear skin, adoring men, loving children, appreciative co-workers, getting my fancy clothes… And fucking clear white aura, for heaven’s sake.”

Appreciation can be shown in dollars but love can’t and shouldn’t be, most of the time.

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