Is this real love or am I hanging onto someone I can’t have?

The immediate difference between a True Emotion Mirror on a run and hanging onto someone you can’t have is that if it is real love you will love them even when they reject you, but it is a mixture of feelings. If this is about being a rejection junkie, you don’t really even like them and that is why them rejecting you gets your goat so to speak and you simply want them to accept you so you could dump them on your turn, although you probably tell yourself different to justify the hunt. It’s not that you want them, you just want your ego to be fixed. If you could, you’d probably feel better if you could go out with someone better looking (or smth) than them and let them know so you’d feel better about the rejection but if that doesn’t phase them, you are likely to fall back into the same trap. You are likely to want to knock them off their pedestal too, to humiliate them because you want them to feel as shit as you feel about their rejection. You want payback because your ego got hurt by someone that to you was already a downgrade. Now you are afraid that they think they are too good for you when they already have “an inflated ego”.

They might not be in competition with you however and they simply know you aren’t right for one another, no value judgement in place, or they, worse yet, already felt secretly superior to you to begin with, and here you were offering yourself to them more out of pity than love only to be told “thanks but no thanks”… You want to balance it out by letting them know exactly who’s the boss around here.

What this is about is you saving face, not real love. However if this was real love things might look very similar to the outside, but what goes on on the inside is different; If you were in love, you would be trying to tell yourself that you are not interested or you haven’t got a shot at making them yours but you still believe in your heart that they do love you. This is not about getting back at them but you can’t talk yourself to give up. Even in the case of real love that isn’t returned, you would never feel angry at them for not loving you because you’d believe they are truly extraordinary, and as such, you are just one of many people who could offer their love for this person, and you understand they need to make a choice. If they started seeing someone you felt was good for them, you would be happy for them rather than pissed off. If they met someone who you felt was not right, a true lover would think they object of their hopes is selling themselves short. If it isn’t real love when they meet someone good for them, but you’d feel like they are getting better than they truly deserve. In the case of them finding a lesser lover, you’d be secretly pleased they are settling for someone less than what they could have and sneering behind their back at them finally getting served a piece of humble pie.

On the outside both an ego-obsessed and love-obsessed people do seem to act pretty much the same, but the great difference is that the ego-obsessed is somehow trying to take the better of the object of their desires, they want to prove something, to “show them” or others how desirable they themselves are. A love obsessed person would simply not get the stars out of their eyes, they would see the other person as someone soo much better than others, and although they might jump from feelings of love to feelings of hate, they still would think what would be the best outcome is that they both ride away happy from this, rather than coming on top. The ego-obsession is about “catching a pray” and the love-obsession is about finding a way to communicate that you’d both understand one another and the other would finally hear you correctly; “I love you.”

And yes, you can be ego-driven to catch your True Emotion Mirror, but you will never catch a True Emotion Mirror if there is a shred of sore ego involved without trickery, force and dishonesty, anyway.

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