It is okay to blame yourself if your partner is cheating

The way we empower women these days is to repeat a mantra of “it’s never your fault if someone treats you badly”, and thus the sign of a strong woman is one that never blames herself for anything, always puts her own needs first and doesn’t let people boss her around. Sounds good, doesn’t it? This, unfortunately is a narcissistic behaviour model that we are feeding each other as a healthy way of dealing with our relationships, especially towards our significant other. In the case of a cheating husband or a boyfriend, it is a healthy reaction to look into the mirror and ask oneself: “What kind of a partner am I to live with from day to day? Am I fun? Entertaining? Easy to talk to? Approachable? Warm and loving?” These are things that love relationships should be based on, but too often women take them as if they were a relationship between a boss and their employee; she’s the boss, and he’s the bossed. If he fails to be perfect, we fail at being independent. To protect ourselves from “undue” blame and guilt, we have shut men out, and that is what causes all unhappiness in our relationships. A lot of you are saying that you wouldn’t shut him out if he wouldn’t shut you out, but you know when someone opens up to you, you don’t have the right to insult them for what they share. That is also something women don’t seem to have a qualm with; A man cannot criticise a woman in any way, yet a woman can criticise him in any way she likes to, and men don’t know why they feel odd about it if they do – that’s how the world works, isn’t it? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard men say that they love me for one simple thing: I am nice to them. NICE! Even when I am not being particularly nice! Imagine that, love just for being nice.

I don’t know when it became okay to take a relationship as a battle of power, but that is what it is and that is, I suppose what it’s always been about amongst the grey masses. It’s just a societal agreement that who gets to be on top; the man or the woman, and as it stands, it’s the woman who calls the shots, because “men are evil cheaters and need to be controlled”… Oddly enough, that’s what was said about women when they were watched over and put between the rolling pin and the stove some decades ago. You don’t control your woman, she’ll run off with another man… If you let your woman cheat on you, you fail as a man. Women are no better now that men were in the 50’s. Let that sink in for a bit.

And cheating then… What is that about? Any woman who sleeps with a married man LOVES hearing that his wife is a bitch who doesn’t understand him. And many women who sleep with married men are actually quite good with men… Until they start competing over power with the wife; who owns him? Me or her? At first, the other woman is like a breath of fresh air to him, someone who doesn’t nag, doesn’t complain, loves him for everything that he is, until the day comes when she starts to wonder if he’s ever going to leave his wife. If she’s such a nag, why won’t he leave?

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