Looking for a connection in the confrontation.

The real reason for people picking a fight and seeking confrontation is probably that they’re looking for a connection with another person. However, when one such person is arguing with a connected person, their goal in that argument is different. One wants to solve their own lack of connection and make a friend by mutually deciding “none of this matters; what matters is this connection,” while another feels the topic itself is important.

A person like this seeks out people who disagree with them the most. They may also decide to oppose something just to have enough material to make a good argument. If they do this with someone who is doing the same thing, it’s great. The idea is to argue until you feel connection, and make friends when the conflict resolves.

However, people don’t always argue to make friends. The Old Souls* argue to CHANGE THINGS. They see a problem or a flaw in paradise that they consider their home, and want to fix it. Their personal sense of connection has already been fulfilled by something: inner peace, if nothing else… So they will not react to an argumentative person with feeling connected, but quite the opposite; the discord is creating a divide, not a connection. That, in turn, doesn’t mean the other party doesn’t feel a strong connection here, given that the person sticking for a fight is someone who is fighting for what’s important to them against whoever happens to stand in their way. This is also often the place where the Karens of this world enjoy standing: Between you and whatever you want, because there, they cannot be ignored.

If you grew up only getting attention when you misbehaved or acted weird, you’re going to think you don’t matter, but only your bad behavior is rewarded. That said, the Old Souls* like their solitude and don’t feel disconnected from anybody when alone, they simply connect to the spirit of their soulmates even not knowing that’s what they do. They often feel better alone, where they can *feel* the connection without drama, rather than have that connection disrupted by someone who is making trouble for the sake of trouble.

Can you give that person a sense of permanent connection? If not, keep fighting them but know they don’t really care about the topic, at all.

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