Loving your True Emotion Mirror is not a choice.
A True Emotion Mirror is the highest soulmate connection possible. It is a bond an outsider cannot break – if it ever breaks, the break comes from the inside. That said, people often always mistake the identity of their True Emotion Mirror because they want to convince themselves that they’ve already found it… People who are one-sidedly in love with another try their hardest sometimes to convince the other person that they’re the True Emotion Mirror, to coerce them into a relationship with them using this phenomenon as an excuse for manipulation and dominance. This, I might have to point out, is usually done by women to coerce men, to be perfectly clear. Sometimes women use this on other women, too.
You NEVER have to FORCE a True Emotion Mirror into a relationship with your counterpart. It’s like asking, “How do I make my child eat this candy?!” Asked no parent ever. The ONLY WAY your child is not eating that candy is because they think they’re not allowed to. If they know they’re allowed, that candy is going down. The same is true with True Emotion Mirrors; if they know they’re allowed, it is on! Both men and women can easily believe their counterparts do not want them (allow them), NO MATTER HOW SEXY and self-confident they usually are. This is because your True Emotion Mirror always feels a little bit too good for you, just a little out of your league, even if they’re in your league.
Loving your True Emotion Mirror is not a choice. Having a relationship with them is.
Now, about that being allowed… Imagine a gay pair of True Emotion Mirrors. Even though they cannot help loving each other – that part is not a choice – they can choose not to be together due to social norms, sometimes out of love for each other: “I don’t want you to suffer because you love me. Let’s keep pretending this isn’t happening.” A True Emotion Mirror love is stopped ONLY by a logical decision to do the right thing by the other party… Albeit that logic is not always valid, it’s not always based on realistic observation of reality, but a rather pessimistic view of reality.
They will never stop loving each other, but whether they act on that love or make that love public is an entirely different thing. The same applies to True Emotion Mirrors, who are already married at the time they find their TrEmoR. They may still choose to respect their vows, even though they couldn’t stop loving their True Emotion Mirror even if they tried. This is simply because loving that person is in your DNA; they are the person who you love, and that’s it. It’s like telling your taste buds not to love pizza so much. You can’t choose that even if every one of us has tried! (Granted, there is pizza, and then there’s great pizza, but you know what I mean. A True Emotion Mirror is the best piece of pizza pie you’ve ever had… smelled.)
They are never the person you love the second most in this world.
I know people who don’t have a True Emotion Mirror but have children, and even some people who have both will gasp at this horrible notion: You love your True Emotion Mirrors more than you love your own children. Your children will also love their True Emotion Mirror more than they love you, but for parents who know what love is, that’s a relief. All is good in your kid’s world if they find their True Emotion Mirror – but a parent who doesn’t know True Emotion Mirror love is going to be freaked out about the connection between their child and their TrEmoR. It’s… Disturbing. If you know love and see it in your child and their partner, as a parent, nothing could make you happier. If you don’t know love… You’d be scared like the monster is about to get them!
However, you love your True Emotion Mirror more than anyone else in this world. Still, we ALL love SOMEONE more than anyone else in this world. When you were 2 years old, you loved your mommy or daddy more than anyone else in the world. When you turned 7, there was a kid at school you loved more than anyone else in the world – romantically, at least. At 16, you finally fell in love “for real” and that person became your #1. THAT MEANS NOTHING. True Emotion Mirror is always the one you love the most, but who you love the most currently may not be your True Emotion Mirror if it happens you haven’t met/heard of them yet.
I repeat; you can count on them to never be the second best option you can imagine.
Obviously, there is someone in this world you love more than anyone else in the world, but your True Emotion Mirror cannot ever be the second best. Not even if you compare them to every celebrity you adore. If it’s a True Emotion Mirror, you cannot IMAGINE anyone you’d trade them in for if you had the choice. NOT EVEN if your True Emotion Mirror was not the most talented actor in the world, even if they were just a… whatever you are, you’d choose them over whatever celebrity is The Thing right now.
If you can even imagine a better match for yourself than your True Emotion Mirror, the person you’re with is not it. While you may feel you want to change your True Emotion Mirror in some way, the change is always liberation, not alteration. If you want to find your True Emotion Mirror, thus, always upgrade whenever you can. Never make a commitment you cannot break if you find someone better. If you want to ensure you’ll find true love, NEVER MARRY until your imagination cannot come up with a better match for you even if you put all your effort into the dream.
The “Well Fuck You”.
Loving you True Emotion Mirror is not a choice. It is in who you are as a person. You’re already together even if you’re not in a relationship. You are so together, that even outsiders can sense it from you, when you’re not even together at a night club, they still know you’re together. The connection is undeniable. Others will “lump you together” in their minds even if you’re not together-together. What is also undeniable, is that you’ll forgive each other anything. You’ll never want your True Emotion Mirror to go without what they want and need. This even includes other people. HAVING SAID THAT, if you deny something from your True Emotion Mirror, it’s because you know they want you to: “No more other men/women! I want you to myself. I’m sorry, but your batchelor(ette) days are done!” And you put a huge grin on their face with putting your foot down.
What True Emotion Mirrors do, is that they force the other person to an authentic life. “Babe. You know you want… I know it’s weird. I know people will think you’re nuts. That I’m nuts. We’re doing it.” When your True Emotion Mirror tries to change the rules of nature, so to speak, because of their ego or some convention, their True Emotion Mirror will very likely turn their nose up, walk away and feel: “Well fuck you then, I’ll be at the pub getting laid with other people. Tell me when you’re ready to accept realities.”
A True Emotion Mirror does not need to force their counterpart to accept something they don’t want, but they will force you to accept what you truly enjoy… Whether you like to admit that about yourself or not.
Getting it wrong.
I know a lot of people who hang onto the wrong person thinking they’re their True Emotion Mirror. As a psychic empath and a True Emotion Mirror myself, I can clearly see how misguided they are. They, themselves don’t have a fucking clue.
In all honesty, it doesn’t matter if you get it wrong. For as long as you’re chasing the shiniest object you can see, you’re at least kept away from OTHER bad connections. Even if you’ve set your hopes on the wrong person, YOU are right as rain. It’s just that FUCK you can piss off the person you’re hanging onto. Still, it’s kinda their problem.
Being the object of unwanted love.
I’m saying this very much being the object of unwanted adoration by lesbian women; the thing is though… There is not a chance in high hell they’ll get their way, therefore, I am going to be a very SAFE wrong target of affection for them, as they figure out whatever the heck they need to figure out before they’re even remotely ready for an actual love connection. The same is probably true for the False Emotion Mirror for everybody; they are a CERTAIN no-go-zone, provided as a shiny object for a naive person to follow until they learn whatever it is that they must learn.
As far as the objects of one-sided devotion goes, you’ll basically just have to learn to live with it and to ignore it. Learn not to feel guilty about it, and to treat it a little bit like when a small child is besotted with you; it can be flattering and funny, and you can treat it the same way as Carl Jung treated a patient’s adoration of him; he went as far as to allow her to organize a wedding for them, and on the week of the wedding, his patient called it off. That man had a pair, that’s for sure. You don’t need to be Carl Jung about it, but just laugh it off. “Sure honey. We’re meant to be. Gotcha.” I hope I’ll learn that lesson soon enough. I’m still, as of writing this, so effin’ disturbed by it it’s not even funny.
Rule of thumb when officially single:
Follow the shiniest object you can see at the moment. EVEN IF they are not the 100% right one, they’re leading you somewhere. You don’t have to know, at the start of a relationship whether someone is your True Emotion Mirror or not, but I understand you want to know. If you are mature enough to accept rejection and fear rejection, the latter is not exactly ideal, but it does come with the experience of being brutally rejected and humiliated in some previous lifetime, so, most of us are on that spectrum about it. We want certainties. We wish for certainties, but you know… Sometimes you just have to learn to roll with the punches, right? It’s not embarrassing to love someone. How could you help it when someone is that awesome?
Let go of letting go.
Instead of letting go, learn to let go of the need to let go early. Let go once you see someone shinier still. ALWAYS choose the shinier one… Until you realize you can’t choose between two shiny ones and you gotta go poly. And then, you learn to figure out who else is too shiny to ignore.
If you go for perfection, learn this: Always set your sight to the shiniest one, but ACCEPT that they may not want you back. Keep the door open, make sure they know the door is always open, but don’t try to force them to walk through it. If they are The One or One Of Them, they’ll walk in when it’s time. There are reasons why True Emotion Mirrors don’t walk into the relationship just yet. Your True Emotion Mirror may know something you don’t. They may sense something you don’t… Such as: “You’re not ready for me. YOU need to get ready before I walk in.”
Your False Emotion Mirror is there to force you to grow for another person, but whatever this is, YOU ARE MEANT TO GROW from it.
Also let go of other’s letting go.
They’re going to hang onto false hope. That’s what some people do. Don’t sweat it, they’ll figure it out. You fighting back, to them, seems to be you fighting your emotions about them, and in a sense, they’re right. They’ll see it clearer, tho, if you just let them want what they want in vain.
Rule of thumb when getting into a relationship.
Follow your instincts. Say the darnest thing that you can bring yourself to say. Break the rules of regular relationships. “You’re mine, aren’t you?” Instead of “Oh, hi, so you’re my best friend’s new boyfriend/girlfriend.” (Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…)
When you feel like you can’t say ANYTHING without them freaking THE FUCK out.
Don’t lie, but if you can’t tell them everything much now for a reason or another, say the BIGGEST POSSIBLE TRUTH you can part with FROM THE SMALL END. You go through the list of things you could say from the smallest to the biggest, and you find the biggest one you feel natural and safe to say. “I like your shirt” instead of “I want to marry you tomorrow” you know? “Hi,” instead of “I like your shirt.” Sometimes, saying “hi” to a True Emotion Mirror feels like you’re asking them to marry you on the spot.
Often, your True Emotion Mirror won’t BELIEVE you love them, there’s no point telling them everything at once. You have to, sometimes, make them used to the idea someone like you might want them. Don’t make the mistake of too much modesty in a relationship with a potential True Emotion Mirror – they think the world of you and… you being too eager too soon, may make them feel very uneasy and weirded out… Even if you think the same of them. Either way, honesty and authenticity is always the best with a True Emotion Mirror. You cannot say the wrong honest thing to them… Not really.
Your instincts are gold with your True Emotion Mirror.
At the same time as you’re insecure as F, your instincts are telling you to do all this crazy s***t, that would normally make any sensible person call the cops on you. So I understand why people don’t do these things. However, as long as it’s legal, break the rules as much as you can; do the milder version of something bat shit crazy. Take risks.
Know your (day) dreams with your True Emotion Mirror are real.
Imagine yourself doing something… Nuts. Let your True Emotion Mirror respond the way they would. When your day dream flows effortlessly, it’s real. They’re talking to you in spirit.
You know when things are not right. The situation winds up in you getting slapped, they fly into a rage… Or you do. Don’t follow through with those plans. Bad plans.
Also… Don’t follow a plan your True Emotion Mirror didn’t approve of in spirit. If, in spirit, you agreed to A, B, C, don’t expect deviating from A straight to C will do the trick. Don’t deviate because you flake out. Deviate because of your instinct in the moment.
Follow your flow.
Instinctively force your True Emotion Mirror into your mould.
the Ravens* will struggle to do this. It goes against everything we believe in. Reasons are many. However, with your (potential) True Emotion Mirror, when your instinct is telling you; start moulding them into what you want from them. Make them into your ideal person – if they are your True Emotion Mirror, it’ll feel like a liberation, not oppression.
True Emotion Mirror Coaches
One of the most obvious frustrations to people who coach True Emotion Mirrors (or Twin Flames) is the situation when someone is CLEARLY hanging onto the wrong person insisting they are their True Love and blah blah blah. As a coach, you have to resist your need to tell them they’re fooling themselves, this is just a regular crush and you’re a freaking rejection junkie.
The thing is, True Emotion Mirrors do want you to tell them straight: “Am I CRAZY, or is this guy/woman ACTUALLY in love with me, against all sensible reason to believe it?!” We need someone to confirm to us we’re not fucking insane, right? We would LOVE to hear someone say “you know what…” But the thing is, even when they do, do we believe them? No. We say: “Oh, they don’t know True Emotion Mirrors.”
Therefore, tell them what is always the truth: “You’re meant to learn from this. You’re meant to grow, work on yourself, and to figure some stuff out for yourself. That’s what connections of this nature are always about. Here’s some reading material…” Send them here if you don’t have any online.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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