Maybe you’re overthinking this relationship thing… Maybe you should just BE THERE.

Sometimes, especially if you’ve read about the “telepathic” connection True Emotion Mirrors share, you think understanding each other should be seamless. While we are telepathic and share some thoughts and feelings in that way, it doesn’t work on everything. We hide our insecurities and fears even from them. Where telepathy fails, words are a real good help.

You cannot read a piece of worthwhile relationship advice without running into the importance of communication. That doesn’t mean poetry or fancy words and expressions and pristine, beautiful expression… Rather willingness to do it. The willingness to BE THERE for the conversation and simply showing willingness to TRY to understand is much more impressive than you GUESSING what’s going on. If you get it right, it’s great, but if you keep guessing what your partner wants, thinking that’s what they expect, you’ll probably wind up disappointing them more than impressing or flattering them. Sometimes, guesses and self-confidence in knowing what they like and need are great, but guessing is… Cowardly. Knowing is different to guessing. Don’t try to substitute knowledge with a guess.

It’s difficult to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t there. Don’t avoid spending time with that person because you’re uncertain about what they want. Ask. Ask. Ask and tell. If you happen to want more than you feel you have the right to… Maybe you’ll be surprised. Maybe they want just as crazy things too soon, and are also too afraid to say so. Women tend to believe men don’t want relationships in general, men tend to believe they are not good enough for one… You need to sort that out with your partner. Ask. Women also believe men don’t want to talk about things, and men may think women need them to guess and to know… (Some women do feel that way, but… Well, you can ask if they prefer a guess or a conversation.)

Be there. Show up. Often, people are not as complicated in their needs as they may appear. The frustration may come from the BASICS not being there. When they’re not treated with attention and care, systematically, when they don’t know whether they can call you at a random time or will they be told off for disturbing you, when they don’t know whether they can talk to you, if they feel they are boring you when they talk, you know? When they don’t know what it is that YOU want or play at. The frustration rarely comes from the fact that you get details wrong. The frustrations come from getting the very basics wrong.

Just be a friend first. Also, sometimes thinking it this way helps: If this was just a casual relationship that didn’t mean that much to you, how relaxed would you be talking to them, taking them out, shooting the breeze, right? If you weren’t in love with them, or if they were just a friend, how would you behave? What would you take for granted? Would you assume that person waits around for weeks to finally do the thing you talked about with very short-tempered responses to their queries? Often, we feel we can treat the loved one with a lot less attention when they’re the ones who want you there ALL THE TIME.

You may also feel like THEY are doing YOU a favor by entertaining your wishes of a relationship with them. If you both feel that way, you may both be very coy about picking up the phone. If you think they’re superior, and it’s likely both of you feel that way if you’re True Emotion Mirrors, it may feel like both of you start avoiding “bugging” the other.

Just check the basics, right? If this was just anyone, do you think you’re doing it right?

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