My True Emotion Mirror is distracted with another (wo)man, dream, or a goal
(link to once published1 )
Think of this scenario: A man is getting desperate over a girl he’s interested in having a career goal or another man she’s interested in. How much sympathy are you giving him for hanging onto a girl who isn’t really interested in him?
Zero, right?
That’s the correct answer if the desperate person refusing to let go is a woman, too. A woman shouldn’t be allowed to be any more possessive than a man should be.
The Self Delusion
Many people I’ve spoken to seem to be delusional about the nature of the relationship between their “True Emotion Mirror” and whomever “their True Emotion Mirror” prefers. They are telling themselves stories about how it is “meant to be” and how they “have the right”, and how the other woman (usually, the other woman) is simply “giving him everything he wants so easily, he’s following his dick to this woman”. They believe that if this easy lay would just vanish out of the picture, they would finally be able to fulfill this divine love that they were destined for.
Who is fixated on what?
Ask yourself this: Who are you looking at? Right. Who are they looking at? If the answer is you, you’re all good. If the answer is that the person you are looking at is looking at a person who is looking right back at them, then YOU are the third wheel, not your rival.
If the one you want cannot hold their attention on you or on a plan to get to you as fast as they can, because they’re fixated on a job that you don’t like but they love, a goal you don’t see the value of but they do, or a person you wish was not there but they can’t get enough of… You’re fighting a losing battle and are in denial about it.
If the only attention you get is an angry plea for you to VANISH, you know you’re not in a very good position, and you are in denial about that fact. You refuse to see that you are not loved by this person. You think it is their duty to, without realizing that if that other person loves them, their claim to that person’s love is equal to yours. You may claim that they are less valuable than you because they’re “a player” or “a slut”, and that, to you disvalidates them completely as a person. To them, that only shows one of the possible reasons why they don’t love you. You are judgmental and shallow, and think you are better than others due to external behavior without realizing the actual motivation. They do. They can see stuff in you that they don’t like, but you’re clueless about it.
So there, some motivation to do some inner work. (That spiritual work mentioned in some True Emotion Mirror contexts.)
Denial, love, goals, dreams something along those lines. Who is in denial, who isn’t? ↩
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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