Narcissists**’ parenting logic: Everything a growing child could possibly need: Status

It is not that a narcissist doesn’t love their child. It’s just that out of all the things in the world, love, joy, pleasure, and kind words included, the only thing they see value in is status. Therefore, they try to help their child to have status and buy the child things that give them status. If they cannot do this, they will try and (literally) beat the child into running after status. A normal person, child or adult, doesn’t understand their obsession with status or what they are even getting at, at all and will grow up feeling utterly unloved or abused.

Further, a humble narcissist will attempt to have their child keep up with their peers rather than overtake them. This means their status cannot be boosted with things another child in the circles doesn’t have, so the child doesn’t become a target of envy. They may also be aware of the “leader” child, and assume that child will set the pace for theirs to follow and keep up with but not overtake as the leader position is challenging.

If you have a narcissistic parent and want them on your side, you need to tell them what you see as a status symbol and what you are ambitious about. You can even guit trip them to working for you as if they haven’t given you the status (they think) you needed as a child or teen or young adult, they will feel guity about it even if it was all your choices. Framing your goals in terms of status maybe tricky for a philosopher, but not undoable. On that line, social media, whatever it’s true purpose is self-explanatory to a narcissist.

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