Negative Bonds: Kryptonite Personality Mirror

The Kryptonite Personality Mirror gets it’s name from the story of Superman, and how a crystal found on his home planet would, in close contact, remove his strength and make him just a normal man. This is the effect of a Kryptonite Personality Mirror. Just like in the case of Superman, most often this “crystal” comes from your home, the people closest to you. This is a person who holds high hopes for you and wants to see you succeed, but at the same time, isn’t sure if you can succeed. They have their wishes but they also have their doubts about your capabilities, many times these doubts come from their own insecurities: “I raised you, I wonder if you could ever turn out normal”. “I don’t know why you would  have married me – I am sure you simply fooled me into thinking you are a capable person.” This makes this relationship incredibly painful one, because it is based on love, but love that is suspicious of your true qualities.

In reality, a Krypto Personality Mirror can be anyone at all, anyone who takes strong interest in your success or life, but has a very different idea of what is success or happiness. They can be anyone, including a fan or a manager or an agent of a creative artist. (“Since you are my idol/artist, I wonder if I made the right call and simply wanted to see talent in you when there isn’t any..?”) This explains why so many people have success creating the first pieces of their careers, and everything following is somewhat a pale version of the first one. It’s not that they lost their talent, it’s because a lot of people have attached their hopes and expectations and APPROVAL on them and become their Kryptonite. The same effect applies in sports and arts, and in so many ways, in business, too. Whenever another person takes the attitude of “you should be creative, you should be doing what you do best, you should be winning, you should be – but I don’t know if you can because you are my *something*…” And with every “should, but” the person’s strength weakens, their talent becomes less of a joy for them, and they gradually lose their ability to perform. So, your fans and family etc. can be either the biggest support or your biggest load of rocks you have ever dragged behind you.

Essentially, when someone decided they somehow “own you”, in some way you become an extension of their own personality just like parents often feel, just like fans often feel, more often than not, your spouse can be your Kryptonite Personality Mirror, because when you joined your lives together, you became a part of them, an extension of who they are, and now what you do belongs to them. Your choices are their choices. It is terrifyingly difficult to break free from this power, because everything you do becomes Their Business.

There is a way to break through it – a couple of workarounds and temporary solutions, but the trouble is, once you get rid of one of these Kryptonites, there’s another taking their place pretty quick, especially if you work in something that makes you a public figure. This is why Obama finds it difficult to deliver his promises and every politician before him; they are being held back by people’s expectations; these are like helpful souls who decide that olive oil in your gas tank should do just as fine as petrol.

This is going to be complicated, so if it doesn’t make sense at first reading, read again, I am still a bit confused about this myself – hope that writing this down will make a difference. Let’s just describe my website here. When I started, I had no expectations of what it was going to become. One post at a time I cleared out obstacles I never thought possible to be cleared. The posts were pretty much dragged out of me, I’ve never had such easy time creating! It was the easiest thing in the world to write 500 pages worth of material, and when I decided I’ll start all over, I thought it would be just as easy.

Not even remotely true. Every post I write is a struggle! I know my stuff. I know exactly what I want to say and achieve, but I cannot bring myself to write the way I did. So I’ve tried casual blogging on Tumblr. That was fine for a while, then I hit the wall when I made it sound like a logical, reasonable thing to do, and my guides got on board. “Well you should write a Tumblr blog!” I didn’t. Then, for a while, I thought a radio station would be massively fun. For a while, exactly as long as it irritated my “guides” it went brilliantly. Then, I thought YouTube videos would be just the ticket. It took one video for me to prove to them that I can vBlog with the best of them and they got on board. Do you know what happened? Right. No More Energy to even THINK about making another god damned video.

So what is wrong? Essentially, you need to have peoples ENTIRE trust and approval or not have any of it. You are fine in both ends, complete trust or complete disapproval and mistrust. Nothing in between will get you anywhere. That is why untrustworthy people do so well in business because nobody gets on their side and tries to guide them but rather stand in their way all the way… And they simply speed past them. There is very few people who enjoy complete trust in everything they want to achieve in life, which explains why truly successful people are such a rarity. The more space you need for yourself, the more you have to struggle for your freedom because people are quite willing to give you yey much space, but they won’t give you THAT space. “You can do this, but we won’t allow you to do that.” And that means you are in a leash of approval when people think they can train you into their lap dog because you show promise of the kind of puppy they’d well like to have in their leash. The more you love your freedom, the less you’re going to be walking on a lead.

For example, my guides who dragged my website out of me to begin with loved the Twin Flame aspect. As soon as I changed the term to Spirit Mirrors, they were displeased, and when gods are not happy, your life is in shambles. No visitors, no nothing. “Back into line, kid!” When I switched to Personality Mirrors, they were even unhappier. Their puppy is trying to pull on the lead and do what she wants to do. Escape.

In another area, I have been approved to reunite with some of my men, but not all of them. Some of them are completely wrong in the minds of my guides. I, on the other hand, will not bend to that. I want them all, and I won’t throw half of them over board simply because some of my family members do not approve. And I will not go to one if I cannot go to all of them at once, so we are in a dead lock of a battle.

I’ve noticed that I can make progress towards my goal if I don’t plan anything ahead. I wake up in the morning without a plan, and I can make stuff happen. If I go to bed with a plan, I wake up with a nagging feeling that I should carry through with that plan but I can’t. I am again been put in a leash of approval, and therefore I can’t move. That is why Law of Attraction people tell you to only worry about your goal, not about how to get there. The fact is however, that should you have the complete trust and respect of the people surrounding you, you would be free to make clear goals and they would work in your favor, but those of us who are surrounded by people who want to either control you or molly coddle you and approve your every move, making plans is a death blow of your project.

By the way, my guides are also unhappy with me trying to make a living out of this. They would be so much happier if they didn’t have to pay for what they read. Very common in spiritual circles, and anything that is even near helpful to others or a necessity. “Oh no, that is necessary, you can’t possibly ask for money for it!” As in: “You provide something so valuable to us that we feel our life depends on it, but we couldn’t possibly pay you for it, not even a dime, because that would just make it seem greedy on your part! … Yes, we know you are struggling and can’t make the ends meet, but we NEED what you have and you need to give it to us for free! We know you don’t own anything… But you have to give it to us! Yes I know I own a house and a car and I have a fulltime job and closet full of expensive clothing, but you should not ask me to pay for something that I actually need to be happy!”

So, how do we get away from our Kryptonite Personality Mirror’s hold? As I said, one way is to not have a plan. It gets you ahead but it won’t break you free. The other way is to always do something they’d disapprove, because that makes them feel like they’re losing grip. One way is to never let anyone know any of your plans, and make sure you never so much as hint that you’re working on something until you have it completed and you are ready to bestow it upon the world. Never even whisper about your goals and dreams to anyone you don’t fully trust.

But these are work around solutions and not very healthy options at all.

The actual thing that you have to do, is to find the kind of respect for yourself that will force interfering people out of your world completely. You have to find the state of mind, where you simply DO NOT ACCEPT anyone’s right to either approve or disapprove your actions. You have to simply think stuff like that doesn’t even make sense, why would you even give them two seconds of your time to consider whether your actions are OK or not. And you have to fully believe you can handle anything that you are undertaking, and anything that may come into your life as a result. In a sense, you need to grow up… All the way up. If Obama hasn’t done it, then, I guess the rest of us can at least take some comfort in knowing that it happens with the best of them. (Regardless of your political leanings.)

There is a value in many people who find themselves in this predicament, is that they will not try to control or take responsibility of free grown-up people, they only take responsibility of their own actions and the validity of their own actions. They want to bring freedom in this world, and refuse to control others and their minds. Therefore, we find another goal: Instead of allowing your Kryptonite Personality Mirrors to dictate how you should behave so you don’t fail them, decide how they should be, so they don’t fail you. (Change the verb according to what the demand on you is “do not fail, embarrass me, let me down, cheat on me, be a poor parent, you have to create this, achieve that…) and then make a counter-demand on them: “If you want me to succeed, then you need to do X for me, or butt out of my life!” People in this situation do not have demands, they only have responsibilities towards others. This is the difference in thinking: Kryptonite: “My responsibility is to ensure YOU don’t fail.” vs. Superman: “My responsibility is to ensure I don’t fail.” In other words; if someone has to make sure you don’t fail, you have to make sure they do not screw things up for you, otherwise you both fail at your goal.)

The irony here is, that the Kryptonite Personality Mirror wants to force the Superman to do what he would do anyway (unlike in the story) if he would be left to it. It is some kind of a transfer of credit: “I ensure you keep doing what you do, and then I’ll take half the credit for keeping you steady on your track.” Of course, anyone with an inch of self-respect would go: “Oh excuse me but I think I got myself this far, and if you are trying to take credit for the first thing I do, then fuck you. Fuck you and your help.” Bad place to be if you just promised the moon to your voters who now decide to hold steady by your side and make sure you don’t fail so they can take credit for voting you into the office. “WE gave that nigga a go!”

Because the Kryptonite Personality Mirror is all about rewarding the Superman with their approval, the approval means that there will be boundaries beyond which the Superman is not allowed to go if he intends to keep enjoying his approval ratings soar. Supermen do not like boundaries, not even if they intended to keep well inside them. At worst, they are coaxed to break those boundaries simply because they want to show there should not be any. (Miley Cyrus! At worse, the Superman breaks the boundaries against their will and finds it difficult to return inside the boundaries because that would show submission. Then, again, once someone breaks their own boundaries, they are likely to gain the approval of people they didn’t want to impress and now they are in another type of a mess.)

Another reason why “letting go” of your plans often bring them to you, is because your Kryptonite Mirrors will stop watching over your shoulder on what you do. They see you’ve given up your crazy plan, relieved, they relax and let you lose… And the next thing you know, things start to flow freely and you’ll achieve your goals without struggle.

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