Negative Bonds: True Antagonist Personality Mirror*

The True Antagonist Mirror Spirit seems to have one purpose only; to irritate  you, to annoy you, to make you feel like crap, and all you want to do is to return the favor. This should not be confused with the True Emotion Mirror reaction of wanting to attack them in order to break the ice, so you could move onto the full surrender, with a True Antagonist, you will want to torture them forever or to force them to stop and go away.

The True Antagonist Personality Mirror* connection is created possibly on the basis of Propelling Spirit Mirror connection that has turned sour through one of the Challenger Spirit Mirrors gaining ground on the other so that the other can no longer really dream of a true victory, or by these two souls being unfairly compared to each other at one lifetime or several; ie “the pretty sister vs the ugly sister” or “the sons of two different wives” or “the dumb slave girl vs. the beautiful white girl of the same age” some such thing. The one who was seen as the weak one will develop a need to win, if only once, and this has turned into an obsession.

The True Antagonist is not always a fully mutual relationship. Sometimes the other is more obsessed about annoying you than what you are, (or vice versa) and the other simply feels you are annoying them on purpose because that is what they are doing to you. This is often a pairing of a Enigma Spirit and their admirer, either male or female; often the Enigma functions as some kind of a role model to the True Antagonist. The Enigma goes through their lives quite happily without issues, easily attracting people and admiration to themselves, while the Antagonist is forced to sit by and watch this happen. The Enigma may have or be something that the Antagonist wants but feels unable to have, and the Antagonist is simply driving themselves crazy over their obsession over this type of a Enigma Spirit.

Some Enigma-Antagonist pairs make the Enigma feel like they’re holding out their fist and the Antagonist is repeatedly running into it without learning that it hurts. Essentially, the Enigma is teaching them a lesson of when it is time to give up and walk away, because they can take whatever pounding the antagonist puts forth, with a relative ease. The Enigma is still irritated, but simply for the stupidity of the Antagonists attacks.

The reason why I categorize these under Destination Soulmates rather than Partial Mirrors where Enigma connections normally would go is because I feel there is a deeper lesson to be learned between True Antagonists than standard Enigma Spirits, where the relationship remains distant, and the Enigma is somewhat unaffected by the whole thing. The True Antagonist is someone who is NOTICED by the Enigma, BIG TIME, the Enigma may be COMPLETELY fed up with the True Antagonist. The correct category for the True Antagonist, who is so often and easily confused with a True Emotion Mirror is a Trail Companion* but is so often confused with the True Emotion Mirror, that I want to keep it in this category (for the time being).

The True Antagonist can also be an equal rival over the same partners, the same job, or other coveted things, but the way they go about their battle is completely different in values. It may also be that the other party has a wrong level Spirit Mirror in their sight while the other is the actual True Emotion Mirror, but as it often happens, the second best gets the guy or the girl simply because that feels more realistic to their counterpart. (Lowers their standards.)

These two can be polar opposites in many ways.

This connection is a bag of good and bad

This connection can be a blessing in disguise because what the True Antagonist reacts to is your true wishes, but rather than help you have them, they wish to stop you from having what you want. This, in turn, forces you to become stronger and stronger and better at getting what you want, and therefore, they are your ideal sparring partner for life. They can also react to your true wishes in an obscure way; by forcing you to take what you want, while they, themselves, regard it as a punishment; you enjoy it, they think they are punishing you. (Such as a certain type of a sub/dom sexual relationship.) What their motivation is, is to make you suffer, even if it does, in the end, lead to your victory; and vice versa, you hurting them causes them to win – that is the law of karma with these people. The worst thing you could ever do to these people is to find a way to not give a damn, but our instinct is usually to *fkn* kill them.

The lessons

The lesson to be learned and releasing the grip: What does the other one have that you do not yet possess or have not mastered yet, and what is it that you still keep fighting that the other one is annoying you with? Are they more sexually liberated, which, to you, feels like they are taking liberties that do not belong to a person? Do they seem to handle certain things in life with such ease that, it, to you, seems like witchcraft? Can you teach yourself the skills the other one possesses that you need or want? Can  you adapt an attitude about them that you appreciate even if you hate everything else about them? Do they hold the opposite end to a balance that you need to make while you are holding steady in the opposite end, permanently holding the seesaw in an unbalanced position?

Another thing you could be focussing on; is there anything specific that they can use to annoy the daylights out of you? What is the sore spot they keep poking at? Solve that issue and they’ll lose their grip on you. This might not even be about an insecurity, either, but something they want you to focus on. Why, or why do you react in a way that gives them pleasure?

Personal example: My Antagonist is great at forcing people into staying friends with her. I let go of people so easily that they think I am not even interested in them, when in fact I still harbor nostalgic memories of them like it was gold 20 years later, but can never bring myself to talk to them about it because I feel they are too magical people to be annoyed with such sentimental dribble. What annoys me to no end is to see how popular she is, even though I strongly feel nobody REALLY likes her, but they hang out with her simply because she is… so demanding for attention.

The True Antagonist is often a combination of character traits or lifestyle choices that we have rejected about ourselves like they were the physical representation of everything we do not want to be or feel we should not be (anymore). Sometimes this relationship is very sexual, but where the other one is not giving it up, so to speak, while the other one is still trying to convince them into a sexual relationship. This can go either way; sexual oppression of either party can drive either the Enigma or the Antagonist crazy, (and often you can’t tell which is which anyway,) either “I do what you want to do but feel you can’t and therefore I am driving you crazy” or “I want to do with you something that you don’t want to do with me, either because of a incompatible gender preference or oppressed sexual expression.” (Make sure your “gay/non-gay Twin Flames” do not belong into this category.)

Differences: a True (Exact) Spirit Mirror or a True Antagonist? The True Emotion Mirror feels irritated about his or her counterpart because they THINK they are being denied or rejected when they are not, all the while as their instinct says they are loved. (They simply have their wires crossed.) The True Antagonist is irritated because they ARE rejected, but cannot understand why or accept that they are. The True Antagonist relationship has an expiration date; when they have done their job of bugging that something out of you, they will lose their powers and cease to be a problem.

A True Emotion Mirror or an antagonist Enigma Spirit? The Enigma Chaser always feels entitled to the Enigma’s love. The Chaser feels like they are the better person, and the Enigma Spirit is the lesser person, but someone who is interesting enough for them that they wish to use them for something. To a Enigma Chaser, their object is much like a luxury item they want to own, not a person they love and adore and want to make happy. In a Enigma pairing, the Enigma doesn’t feel entitled to the Chaser’s love, but simply disinterested in it. Often, the Enigma Chaser tries to “punish” the Enigma by “leaving them” just to show them not to take them for granted, time spans that the Enigma cherishes because the chaser wasn’t there.

A True Antagonist or a regular Enigma Spirit? The Enigma Spirit rarely even notices the existence of their chaser(s), and is truly unattainable to them. In a True Antagonist-pairing, the Enigma Spirit is well aware of the annoying character of their True Antagonist as the True Antagonist gets a lot closer (an actual friend, relative, or a work partner) to the Enigma than the regular one who tends to be somewhat unknown to the Enigma, an acquittance or a fan, someone relatively easy to keep at an arm’s length.

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