Never silence people you love, even if they’re saying things you don’t love hearing.

This is the tricky bit about love: it has to be real. And the one way to force yourself into fake relationships is to NOT LISTEN to your partner, friends, or family members.

The fact is that A LOT OF RELATIONSHIPS function on the power of not listening to each other. You stop talking, or you stop being serious, or you never take each other seriously, just to stay in love with each other. “Someone I love would never say things like that seriously, so I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear it.” MANY people further assign non-existing positive traits to people they have chosen to pretend to love just in order to stay in love with them.

If they speak out of turn, the illusion suffers.

This is a very bad habit for three reasons.

First of all, you’ll fool yourself into believing you are in a relationship based on mutual love. When that inevitable breakup happens, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself because you wanted to believe this person was pleasing to you.

Secondly, THEY will feel continuously unloved because if you cannot freely express yourself, you know your partner doesn’t love you for who you are but keeps editing out aspects of your personality that they don’t like seeing.

Thirdly, if this is a marriage, your children will belong to only one of you; this is the spiritual aspect. If you marry someone other than your True Emotion Mirror or at least your Precious Soulmate, each of your children will “belong” to only one of you. You’ll potentially have a mismatch of children, or you’ll have children that belong to one or the other. (Polyandrist souls most likely choose their parent by the father; polygynist souls choose a family by the mother. Polygynandrist either or.) The more you blind yourself, the more your children will suffer.

If you can’t have the one you want, you can always pretend you did.

The problem is that when we have high expectations on people, but we find ourselves struggling to find that person or find it difficult to believe our own children do not live up to those expectations, the other option is to pretend that they do. But each person is their own display of what they consider to be ideal, even if it made NO SENSE TO YOU how every quality you hate can be positive from some perspective. A murderer or a survivor? A drug addict or “a deeply feeling” person? A thief or “a resourceful person”? Hopefully, the less polarizing traits are easier to figure out. Talkative or silent – oppressive or a people person – a modest respectful person or a shy insecure person? You know? Kind or stupid? Smart or “too” logical?

Whatever you think is ideal is TRULY only your opinion, a subjective preference. Many of us don’t see our preferences as subjective, however, but absolutely objective and fair. They never are. What they are is YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCE, and while you have every right to them, you have absolutely NO RIGHT to force another person into that mold.

And they don’t have a right to force or even ask you to tolerate their… unpreferred traits as a favor to them even if they were genuinely in love with you.

This kind of thinking will make you single for a long time.

The fact is that true love can be hard to find, but while that isn’t the reason why it’s special, it is worth noticing. The fact you’re single for longer than others doesn’t mean you’re a reject; it may well mean you just haven’t met the one you need to keep your ears and eyes open happily. It is the most amazing feeling to be able to spend time with someone with your eyes and ears wide open, and you wouldn’t change a thing about them. Or to have someone see you for everything you are, and they wouldn’t change a thing.

If you have ever felt that, you’ll never want anything else. You should never again FOOL yourself into thinking you’re in love when you know damned well you’re not. You should never again TRY and like people; rather, try to figure out WHY you don’t really like them. It’s just information, but whenever you dislike someone, especially a loved one, there’s a HUGE chance for you to figure stuff out about yourself, making you a better, stronger person.

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