Never underestimate the self-confidence issues of a vain realist.

Vanity is one of the most precious character traits in a person one can find. Often given a bad reputation, vanity drives a person to great heights and to be a perfect person. Perfectionism cannot allow character flaws any more than it allows physical flaws. That, dear reader, is a winner attitude.

However, when coupled with a dose of “healthy realism” it creates a ton of self-confidence issues. Who is ever going to be good enough when compared to perfectionism? When a vain person is surrounded by critical people, they feel constantly attacked and minimized – making them have a realistic attitude toward their goal of perfection: “I am OK.” Merely OK, which, in the mind of a perfectionist is nowhere good enough to be loved.

Just to make sure you understand me; VANITY is not the problem here. Realism is. NOTHING is out of reach of a vain person with a flair for perfectionism. They should never think the same issues apply to them as it does to a regular person. They are a different species, figuratively speaking – and, if you ask me, are going to be a literally different species given enough time. The vain perfectionist is the new human, and the regular person is the new ape. That said; choose your species. We’re going to MAKE a new species by simply refusing to be talked down.

Realist-perfectionists will see themselves as merely “OK”

Realism to the self-confidence of a perfectionist is somewhat like anorexia, maybe literally in some cases. You DO NOT ATTACK a person’s perfectionism if you want to help them, you must boost their self-confidence instead. Don’t tell them they CAN’T reach perfectionism, tell them they absolutely can – or are there already, they just believe it. But… Also, don’t lie to a perfectionist. They want to be perfect, and they want their REAL FAILURES out in the open, so they can FIX THEM. You expose a perfectionist’s flaws to them, and you’ll make them better, not to “calm down” and “settle with normal people.” A non-perfectionist cannot see a challenge; they see permission to not try that hard – you were never in the running in the first place.

But to a real perfectionist, trying for perfection is not a social pressure -thing. They’d do it anyway. Telling them they shouldn’t, only reads as “you’re not good enough.” I’m telling you tho: if you’re a perfectionist, vain, and ambitious, you can do literally anything within the power of a human being and then some. Humanity always pushes boundaries, and it’s the vain ambitious perfectionist who says: “What do you mean it can’t be done? Of course, it can.”

I’ve recently started joking about my own attitude: “Hey if you want to rule the world, you cannot do it without being at least a little megalomaniac.” See? The definition of the problem is also the solution. You cannot become perfect without being perfectionist.

So fuck ’em. Every boundary has always been pushed by people who didn’t listen to people saying “it cannot be done.”

Subscribe to get a Daily Message