None of their business – changing your own mind to actually believe it.

We all tend to feel a bit judged by others even when we believe it; whatever ‘it’ is, is none of their (god damned) business. Still, maybe a part of you still doubts whether it might be their business after all, or at least knows that they’ll make it their business whether you like it or not. If you can, imagine yourself in a situation, a place where you are completely outside the field of judgment. Away from people’s prying eyes. Somewhere where they can’t hear you. A log cabin in the woods, maybe. Off grid. A bunker under ground, a space shuttle if that’s what it takes. Somewhere where you and whomever you want in that bubble with you can exist without anyone getting to say a thing about it.

How do you feel? And who is in that bubble with you?

Keep that feeling with you and get up. Walk around with that feeling with you. Meditation has the problem that as soon as you get up, you’ll leave the feeling behind. Learn to walk around and do things with this feeling with you. (Also apply to anything else you might have been meditating on. Do it while walking, not while sitting in a quiet, undisturbed space.) A zen master swordsman wouldn’t just drop his calm in the heat of battle. If you struggle when meditating, imagine yourself moving like a zen master, then get up and do it. Sit down and imagine yourself as calm as a psychopathic defense lawyer defending a serial killer. 😀 None of their business. (I’m not saying, you know?) If it’s none of their business, if you take full responsibility for what it is you’re doing, you don’t have to look around for another person to give you a clearance to be who you are.

Now think of an unruly child testing what is allowed and what isn’t. They see if they can get away with this..? OK, mom got angry. Now, what about this? Aha, and what if I do a BIG no-no first? Will mom react to the smaller no-no as she normally would?

Is that the kid you want to be, or do you actually know the difference between right and wrong without someone looking over your shoulder? Do you know what is right for you, your lovers, maybe your children? Act accordingly. Do you need someone to tell you how to behave? If not, they can keep their opinions… No, they don’t get to look long enough to form an opinion.

You messed up? Made a mistake? Can you fix it? Do you need someone to tell you that you messed up? Do you have the presence of the mind to fix the mistakes you made yourself? Yes?

Your life, your rules. Your mess, your broom. Outside input is not required. You’ve got this.

Bubble yourself up, and don’t let it burst when you get up.

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