Normal vs. Narcissistic – Modern and Timeless

Most of my blog posts involve a dysfunctional Modern-Timeless dynamic. However, basically, this dynamic describes a narcissistic reaction (the moral outrage) of the Modern who loves someone who doesn’t love them back. For a Modern, a person who doesn’t return love is seen as “narcissistic,” in layman’s terms. For a Timeless, a person who cannot live with the fact they are not loved back by literally everybody they love is a narcissist, equally in layman’s terms. (Layman = non-professional understanding of a concept.)

However, a narcissistic personality disorder, as far psychology goes, is another matter entirely. A person with an actual NPD will draw from whatever trait gets them what they want. What they want is determined by their basal thinker type and the thinking of their surroundings. A Modern narcissist wants to pretend to fit in (be like others). They want to be seen socializing with the right people. They want to seem to be loved, cherished, and taken care of, even if this isn’t true. This doesn’t have to be grandiose, however. They’ll typically employ a lot of strategies to force others, family members, lovers, and friends into this game of pretense. A Timeless narcissist wants to stand out and be admired, to be special – for fake traits if they cannot reach that otherwise. This is the “overt narcissist,” the easier to recognize. Their wish is to be admired in a grandiose manner, to be put on a pedestal, whether they deserve to be or not.

Both the Timeless and the Modern hate each other’s way of thinking on a base level. That doesn’t mean they’re narcissistic. They turn narcissistic when they can’t reach their OWN GOALS and IDEALS without faking it and forcing others to pretend alongside the narcissist that their life has met the expected ideal defined by their basal thinker type and their surrounding people, who they also will interpret based on their own basal thinker type.

Both the Timeless and the Modern may have mild narcissistic traits that align with their thinker type. Basically, there’s a need to pretend to oneself that things are fine when they truly know they’re not. They may also justify actions in a narcissistic manner when they seem to be blocked from doing something that would feel more authentic, such as falling in love, having amazing friends, and feeling generally happy and satisfied with life when they truly are not.

So the question is: are you fooling yourself alone (it’s OK) and how many other people you force and coerce into pretending and deceive into believing that your life is exactly the way you want it? (The more you feel the need to force others to play pretend with you at an adult age, the more severe your narcissism.)

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