Obesity, traditional beauty, and the art of getting rejected

OK. This topic isn’t going to be easy. It’s about PERSONAL PREFERENCES and STANDARDS.

First of all, KNOW THIS: Everyone, every single living thing is their own idea of perfection or the closest possible expression of it. No matter what bodyweight you are at, what color you dye your hair, or don’t, no matter how much alcohol you drink or how much or little money you have, you are your own closest available display of perfection – and so are everyone else. BY YOUR STANDARDS. No matter how much you loathe another person or think poorly of them, no matter how much you feel sorry for another person for the fate of being them, you’re looking at THEIR IDEA of perfection (in their circumstance).

You are no different. You too think you’re perfect… And many, many people disagree. The more dissimilar they are to you, the more they think you suck… Whether they’re telling you this or not.

The moral of this story is this: Rejection means nothing. It’s just a difference in aesthetics, values, or attitudes, and theirs is different to yours.

You’re not better than I

And I am not better than you. I don’t like you if you’re dissimilar to me and you don’t like me. STILL. I’m smarter than you, and you’d be stupid not to take mark of my words simply because we’re not alike… But that’s up to you to decide whether you are stupid and reject my words because you don’t like who’s saying them, or mature enough to take information from someone unlikeable as something to consider.

About 7 billion people in this world are dissimilar to me. Each one of them think they’re perfect. Therefore, if all approximately 7 billion people are dumb enough to say that “Ok, I don’t like the way she talks or, I don’t like the fact she uses the N-word as if it was humorous” (I do, sometimes, because I find racism itself hilariously stupid), “… this world is doomed.”

The higher your IQ, the more ability you have to appreciate a variety of people DESPITE the fact you think you’re acing life and being a human, and the others get it… well. They’re good ENOUGH at it.

Perfection, however, must be achievable and agreed upon by people who are not 100% identical. There are many ways to be perfect. The higher your IQ, the more ways to be perfect you can love on a deeper level… HOWEVER, a deal breaker is a deal breaker.

We all make choices

This post isn’t really about obesity, but hey. Obese is rarely considered perfect, yet, you ask an obese person if they honestly like skinny people, you’d get an astounding, shameless “hell no”. And athletic people would grin at it and agree they don’t because being athletic is not for everybody; it takes effort…. A lot of it. And donuts taste really good.

However, say someone tells you they don’t want to date you because you’re overweight and they prefer athletic people. You get all angry about it because what right do they have, right? But you only get to choose one partner if you’re monogamous, so don’t you think it’s fair to allow them to find a partner who they consider the most perfect they can find? After all, they don’t mean enough to you for you to turn into athleticism for them, do they? You just want them to drop their ideals and their goals and join you on the couch with a bucket of chicken. (Yeah I know. Some of you manage to put that weight on with more tightly-packed calories like Mars-bars. I’m just making a point.)

So. If you get ANGRY about someone rejecting you for whatever reason, don’t you think you give them a bit too much value? Are you SURE you want to be what you are? You know, your values, your idea of perfection might not truly come from you at all. You may also think that your TRUE ideal isn’t achievable to you, but that is currently YOUR IDEA of how close to your TRUE ideal someone like you can get, so you’re not even trying… You don’t want to be stupid and hopeful and find out that you were reaching for the moon.

I reached for the moon… I didn’t think a HUMAN could do what I’ve done… Let alone me. I just did it. It wasn’t weight-related, but hey. It was HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE the way I saw it before I started. (Just saying: losing weight isn’t impossible for anyone. “It’s not your fault” is not true. It is your choice to do it or not do it. And there’s a lot of room between an athlete and a regular person. Bodybuilders and athletes tend to be a bit full-on about it.)

Rejection

What is rejection? Someone telling you that they prefer the company of someone else or someone not quite like you. Someone more like them, practically speaking. It’s always someone more like themselves that they prefer. Rejection is simply them saying we’re too different for my liking… And I have too much respect for your right to be your brand of perfection to force you to change for me. (If they trusted that to be possible, considering everyone likes being who they are, or have chosen the convenience of being who they are as that’s the most perfect path available. It’s really difficult to push another person to your idea of perfection when the starting point is so far off… That even if they changed a lot, they’d still fall off your idea of perfection, often.)

You should never take rejection as a sign of not being good enough… For what? Being human/man/woman? You’ve earned the right to call yourself human/man/woman by being born with those genes of yours. You do human/man/woman the way you do human/man/woman, right? Good enough for self-respect? That’s up to you. Good enough for what? What don’t you feel good enough for if someone rejects you, consider it and study it. Is it worth the drama?

If you’re “unattractive” and you seek approval from people who seem to know what “being human” is… Stop it. You know what being human is like. Unless they’ve trained an ape to read, in which case, carry on, champ!

You don’t need a permission to be you. You have, in fact, no other options.

So the question is.

How do you do you? What is your perfection? Should you tweak your ideals, because YOU CAN. To make a person change is to change their ideals, and give them a wish to change, not force them to change into something that isn’t their idea of perfection. Nobody wants to be LESS perfect than what they were before!!! Everyone wants to be better, cooler, more fun, more exciting, more… INCREDIBLE than before. We all want that, but what is better, cooler, more fun, more exciting, more incredible is very much a question of individual definition. 😀

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