Offer information about yourself to make friends.

Do you feel like you’re an interviewer in your conversations with people? All you ever do is ask questions when others ask you none?

Here’s the problem. Even interviewers have something to work with. They know a bit about that person so they know where to go with their questions. The fact you’ve taken an interest in this person means that they’ve given you something to work with. Their some or dating profile is full of conversation starters, for instance.

NOBODY likes to crap-shoot an empty profile or an unknown person just in case we might have something in common. You take an interest in something, of course, but if you look just like the next person, you’ve given people nothing to work with. If you further never share anything about yourself during a conversation, it’s going to remain one-sided, just like your love for that person.

When you tell people nothing about yourself, they assume two things: 1) you consider yourself a very private person. 2) you have found nothing in common with them yet. In addition, they may conclude that while they are a very interesting person, you are and also consider yourself a boring person, and who are they to challenge that fact if you can’t find anything of any interest to tell them about yourself.

The point of conversation is this:

I tell you I like walks on the beach. (Who doesn’t.)

You tell them that you also like walks on a beach, but quite honestly enjoy forests more.

Then I tell you that you are not wrong, forests are nice, too. Maybe we should take a walk sometimes, and I might now ask you if you have a dog to walk.

Whether you do or don’t, we can still go for a walk together, but having a dog offers an opportunity for a daily meetup.

Suppose I told you I like scrapbooking.

You tell me you’ve never tried it, but you find it fascinating that others love it so. You ask me to tell you why I love it.

I tell you, I love it because it stores my memories in a pretty way; you like the artistry of it and all and the opportunity to relish your experiences.

You realize, hey, we have something in common; even though you don’t do scrapbooking, you do journaling or paint to preserve your memories and to relish them, or perhaps you do videos or…

and then I realize that of course, I take videos all the time with my phone, but I never do anything with them

and you say oh, but I could help you edit them! Now, you have a reason to meet up or at least converse online.

See how it works?

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