One No Bull -reason for True Emotion Mirror separation
Almost without exception a True Emotion Mirror separation is caused by insecurities harbored by both or one of the pair. This is a hard fact to face; there is no magic plan from the Universe to bring you back together – (there is a plan is but it’s not exactly magic, more on that later) – but that you’ll have to face your own personal issues and deal with them honestly and fearlessly in order to bring your lives together with your True Emotion Mirror.
The way True Emotion Mirrors work is that first, we remind each other that we are here. Our previous life’s lover comes to you and your heart explodes – you know the feeling. (To first time visitors, no, this is not your last incarnation and this is not the first time you meet your True Emotion Mirror.) At first, everything is perfect, you are so intertwined with your True Emotion Mirror that you can hardly remember your name let alone your insecurities (about your body, your personality, your stupid little habits and so forth) but in time when things settle down a little bit, all those nasty monsters start coming out… Every Single One of Them!
Moving towards the True Emotion Mirror separation phase
You realize that you are in a relationship with the most AMAZING person On This Planet, but how the FUCK did I get here?! What did I do to deserve all this happiness? I am a nobody! I am nowhere NEAR good enough for this person! And in your terror you start looking for signs that tell you that this is not going to work. It’s going to hell in a hand basket! The worst thing is – your True Emotion Mirror is doing the same thing.
To top that off, you realize that this person is probably the sexiest thing on Earth, and what kind of a moron would not want to be with them? And you, you are just you. Even though you could logically understand that you are a match on every possible level you can compare yourself to them, you still feel you fall short, just a tad. (It is not true, if this is a real True Emotion Mirror, you do not fall short compared to them, ever, but that’s how you’ll probably feel. I do not believe real True Emotion Mirrors ever feel superior towards the other, even if they could identify places and ways the other could grow further, they feel the potential being there, ready to be opened up, and they would not feel like they would have to demand the other to evolve to your level, you simply have to open them up to what is already there. And yet, you might feel too exhausted to want to help them do that.)
You might worry that their ex is going to lure them back because they are much cooler than you, or because they share something you don’t – a child maybe – or a history, or their relationship seems easier and normal compared to yours. But you KNOW this person loves you… For some reason, they love you, and you don’t know why… But you also know that things never work out for you, NEVER. This is not going to work either because this is your stupid ass life! Your mind and soul are arguing together trying to figure out which way is up, because on the other hand, you know they are YOURS, but at the same time they are in so much danger to realize their mistake and go back to someone else, or worse yet, be blinded by all of this, or get scared of the intensity or who knows what happens, but you know something bad is going to happen. That is a bloody fact to you.
Photo by Joseph GilbertThings spin out of control and before you know it, one of you has decided to save both of you a lot of heartache later on and called it quits, or you come together and discuss this in somewhat of a rational manner but full of fear: “This is never going to work, let’s break up before we wind up hating each other.” You decided this craziness has to stop – this is not normal nor healthy, and your friends agree. You leave him/her for good because you’re truly going mental with this person. Nobody even knows who you are anymore! True Emotion Mirrors often leave without a word, too, because there is no rational explanation for this breakup, and they cannot give a real reason for their need to leave so they say nothing.
What is the purpose of the True Emotion Mirror separation phase?
Now that you have time to think you go… What The Hell Just Happened?! Bawling your eyes out you stumble onto a website describing True Emotion Mirror connections and you realize that wow, now I know what’s going on, and phew – they’re going to come back to me. All you need to do is to do some spiritual work to get there. The trouble with this information is that it puts too much focus on the spiritual side of things forgetting the cold hard fact that we do live in the real world… And the whole idea of “spiritual work” is too vague to even understand what is the purpose of it. In addition, there is no real purpose for the True Emotion Mirror separation phase, it simply happens because of the cultural environment that we currently live in and our own, individual insecurities. What you need to do now, is simply figure out how to work things out with your True Emotion Mirror, and this is how to get started:
What “spiritual work” means, is that you will need to learn who you are, in your authentic self, in reality, not in fantasy. You have to learn to stop telling yourself stories about who you are, and, unfortunately, most True Emotion Mirror information does the opposite; tells you more stories than you could have ever come up with yourself. For instance, if you are not very spiritual, stop pretending to be. It doesn’t matter. If you are not a kind person, your True Emotion Mirror won’t love you more if you pretend to be kind – after all, he or she fell in love with your mean streak. For a True Emotion Mirror separation to end with a reunion, “being spiritual” IS ABSOLUTELY NOT a requirement. What you need is a solid self-esteem built on grown-up realities to make sure the above doesn’t repeat itself. (Besides, you live and learn, and you will find your maturity sooner or later, and when that happens, you will be able to handle a relationship like this, because True Emotion Mirror relationships require complete honesty about who you are and what you want and that, in turn, requires maturity that, to most people doesn’t come until after 40 or 50 years of age. You can speed it up, and quite honestly, the kind of maturity in question also requires you to accept that you may be, after all, still a kid at heart… Or a teenager in a 60-year old body.)
Any website that claims to understand who you are because you are “a True Emotion Mirror” doesn’t understand the first thing about what is at stake. The very magic of this connection lies in the fact that each couple is unique, with their own quirks, twists, and bends, and you need to figure out who you are as a couple, what brought you together, what you loved about them and what you love about yourself so much that you’d hate to see it change for any reason.
You need to understand yourself and your partner, on a very deep level and figure out the needs you both have in a relationship. A True Emotion Mirror relationship is both easy and hard, because on one hand, you are very compatible, but that also creates the difficulty; if you lie to yourself for one ounce about who you are, you are making yourself a poor fit to your True Emotion Mirror. It may be difficult to understand who you really are, because being in relationships with non-True Emotion Mirrors has taught you to alter your authentic self so that they could accept you; they love you for pretending not to be who you really are. True Emotion Mirrors are the exact opposite:
There’ll be no secrets because you need to share everything, both ways – you want to know everything about the other and you also want to tell them everything, and when this goes a bit wrong it’s going to go VERY wrong. To fix those little issues, you need an iron-clad self-esteem to prevent yourself from causing another True Emotion Mirror separation when a reunion is attempted.
What is really the final trigger to bring you back together is going to be anyone’s guess. “The Universe” will arrange something at the right time, and the right time is directly linked to your readiness to be together, but at the same time, there might be chances that you simply fail to take because your self-esteem isn’t strong enough for them yet.
And, one last thing. The Universe may be waiting for you to accept this one thing about yourself and them: You might be, after all, naturally polygamousORpolygynandrous. 😮 Don’t take that with any level of pressure, instead, know that people who are that, will react to the thought with a level of intrigue; to them, that is a ray of light that just went on… To monogamists, it’s terror. I just leave it in, because it is one of those things you will never think about normally and it just might be the thing you need to figure out.
There.
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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