One of the best signs of being in love and secure in a relationship is that you >BOTH< love bickering and arguing.

Bickering and arguing in a relationship is truly NOT GREAT when the relationship isn’t solid. Either both of you avoid arguments or only one of you does, but even if you normally HATE bickering and arguing and “being in a mood” in average relationships, in a secure, love-filled relationship, these things will suddenly feel amusing. It feels amusing because you know they’re not real. That said, that feeling can be one-sided and lead to one partner feeling abused – so let’s just examine that a bit.

When you’re “ribbing” your friend or lover, do they give you the same treatment or remain silent?

You know that when a person feels bullied instead of loved, and that can happen, they won’t reply to you to give you the same ribbing? They rather sit silent and try not to over-react. They are genuinely insulted but try to let it go.

If this is how your friend or partner reacts, you better make sure they know you’re trying to be funny.

Having said that, some people believe that the silence treatment is part of the game, so if you start to worry, “you lose.” It’s just that I’d take a loss in this one rather than let your relationship slowly reduce to nothing.

How angry are they when you’re “ribbing” them?

Some people believe that the anger is also a part of the show. When only one person is truly trusting and in love, they might not realize that their “playful banter” may actually not be enjoyable by the other party at all. They may believe that some people play “real tough” like they don’t give any indication that they love you, but that “deep down” they do.

I am doubtful those people exist. I think you’ve just decided that you’re loved because you love like that, but that the person sitting in silence or yelling in rage… I wouldn’t count on them loving you “deep down.” That’s simply dangerous.

You both need to be using the same tone and periodically, you both HAVE TO laugh about it or throw in a “love you.”

To know this is actually a loving, secure relationship where you both rib and roast each other with a sense of humor, you have to FEEL the sense of humor and love. It has to make everyone around you chuckle. It has to be genuinely fun for both of you and everyone around you.

If people seem worried around you… You should worry, too.

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