Home

Messages from Sebastyne as chosen by the Universe.

 

 

Random image

People who are “not looking for a relationship” are still looking

Let me make this perfectly clear to you. People who are “not looking for a relationship” are looking for a relationship, and they don’t even bother making it clear to you because it’s fucking obvious. HOWEVER, what isn’t so obvious, probably, and why they keep repeating that they are not looking for a relationship, is that they are SELECTIVE about who they are open to have the relationship with.

People who are advertising that they are looking for a serious relationship, SEEM TO mean “with anyone who will have me”. People who don’t openly look for a serious relationship are hoping to find one “without having to get desperate for one”. Whenever highly sought after individuals say out loud that they are looking for a relationship, every cousin, gramma, friend, and co-worker will spring blind dates on them with people they have absolutely 0 attraction toward. Outsiders seem to take “looking for a serious relationship/marriage” as a green light to dump their single nephews and exes and pathetic friends onto someone who is “ready to settle down”.

Everyone wants someone who LIKES spending time with them

But that doesn’t mean ANYONE at all who likes their company.

Therefore, people don’t necessarily make it too obvious they’re looking for someone, and also, it’s less impolite and hurtful to tell someone that “I’m not looking for a relationship”, than to tell them “I do want a relationship, but you’re not the kind of a person I want to be with”. And, if you go around advertising that you are looking for a relationship, if you’re popular and good looking, EVERYONE who is single wants to try their luck with you. Then, you’ll spend your days rejecting people, and that’s simply not a fun way to spend your time.

So, when Johnny Depp says in an interview that he doesn’t see himself marrying again, it means: “I know you’re all waiting for a green light, but please save me the need to reject 140 women a day. I’ll let you know if I’m interested in marrying YOU.”

Should you wait around once they change their minds about marrying?

If someone has told YOU that they are not looking for a relationship, they pretty much mean that you’re not the kind they’d ever marry. This is not a 100% true statement, but it’s more than likely that it means that. There are people who play hard to get, as they’ve noticed particularly good looking girls hate rejection, so they tend to tell them that they’re not in the market so good looking women would be egged into chasing them for a relationship, but even if you were good-looking, I’d take that as a code for: “You’re not hot enough”.

So no. You shouldn’t wait around hoping that “once they’ll change their mind about marrying,  you’ll be their first call” because you won’t be, for two reasons. If they’re playing you, they want you to chase them and tell them YOU want a relationship with them, and chase them strongly. If they’re trying to tell you that they’re looking for a relationship, but you’re not good enough, waiting around won’t change that fact.

Unless you’re willing to take the risk that they really were playing you and chase them until they scream at you, red-faced, for you to fuck off and get it into your head that they’re NOT INTERESTED, you should just leave them alone.

So how strong rejection is too strong when you actually want them?

I have spoken to countless of True Emotion Mirror women who have been rejected by their counterpart (or so they believe). The difficulty here is, that it is insanely difficult to say whether someone is playing hard to get or are they serious about their rejection. One good sign is the difference in looks – are you equally good-looking or not, if you’re rejected because you’re not that hot, there’s a good chance the rejection is real.

However, when good-looking people spend a single and looking -lifestyle, they reject a lot of good looking people themselves. Some of them are perfectly good, datable, marriable, wonderful single people, but for someone who has more than enough partners to choose from, they are not going to settle with someone who is 99.9% right – they want the 100% right – and THAT could be… Fucken anyone as long as they’re in the M8R10 category. And monogamists are looking for JUST ONE, which means that they still must reject a whole heap of M8R10 category people if they’re in love with one of them.

may feel an incredible connection, but who’s to say they’re not insane? Nobody wants to make a fool out of themselves in front of the person who they’d die for, but who might think they’re an idiot who thinks they’ve got a chance. (You may not understand how THAT PERSON has any insecurities, but ANYONE can have insecurities, even if they’re self-assured in one area of life or in certain groups of people, it does not mean they won’t feel insecure in their own league, or when a relationship TRULY matters. A highly popular person rarely needs to chase people, and they don’t experience rejection often, but it fucking looks nasty on the surface, and they don’t really want to be on the receiving end of that… Do they?)

This is why you should never strongly reject someone who is perfectly suitable for you – in your mind. Then again, considering how bone-headed some people are about their chasing – women especially – if you are a woman, you CAN chase a lot stronger than what you probably think you can.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message

Enter your email to get a daily message picked by the Universe delivered to your email.